There are a lot of non-negotiable benefits you deserve to receive in a committed relationship.
Some of the advantages of being in a long-term relationship include mutual respect, open communication, quality time, solid trust, and deep emotional intimacy.
These things should never be taken for granted or dismissed. If your man isn’t offering you all of the above-mentioned benefits, this is one of the most obvious signs he doesn’t value you.
A good indicator of a healthy relationship is when you feel accepted, loved, wanted, and appreciated.
You will feel this way when your man loves you deeply and values you as well.
So, what does it mean when someone doesn’t value you?
According to Oxford Languages dictionary, the word value means to “consider (someone or something) to be important or beneficial.”
When someone doesn’t value you, it means they don’t see you as an important part of their lives therefore, they take you for granted.
And if a man thinks you’re replaceable in his life, he won’t be afraid to lose you so it’s important to be valued in a relationship.
12 WARNING SIGNS HE DOESN’T VALUE YOU
Lack of communication, abusive behavior, the onset of mental health issues, and lack of respect are the most common signs of an unhealthy relationship.
If you suspect that your boyfriend is taking you for granted and you need a second opinion, here are 12 warning signs he doesn’t value you or your relationship:
1. He never keeps to his words and promises
A good man always keeps to his words and promises because he doesn’t want to let his loved ones down.
If your partner’s words never align with his actions and you catch him telling small lies from time to time, this is a sign he doesn’t take you seriously.
For example, if he promises to stop by your place of work and take you out for lunch but never delivers on his promise, he doesn’t value you.
Or maybe he says he loves you all the time but doesn’t show it in any way and you feel unloved, there’s a good chance he’s pretending to love you.
2. He doesn’t respect you and your decisions
One of the early signs a man doesn’t value you is when he dismisses your thoughts, opinions, and decisions as irrelevant.
For instance, during conversations, if he insists that you’re just a woman and he knows better, that’s a huge red flag.
In a loving relationship, couples see each other as equals.
This means they make decisions together and ask for one another’s opinion when they feel confused about something.
If a man constantly ignores your opinions and refuses to respect your decisions, this isn’t a good sign.
3. He belittles you in front of other people
Another bad sign a man doesn’t value you is when he disrespects you in public.
It’s normal for a healthy couple to laugh at each other’s little mistakes in private but they never do it in front of other people.
A toxic boyfriend will be insensitive to your feelings and make a mockery of you in front of others.
A common scenario could involve him talking to family members about a mistake you made and laughing at it openly.
This type of disrespectful behavior shouldn’t be tolerated by you. If your man belittles you in front of other people, he doesn’t deserve you.
4. He disregards your pain or suffering
In a good relationship, couples usually show empathy for one another.
And when one of them is hurt, the other feels pained and concerned. This clearly shows that they care deeply for each other.
On the other hand, a partner who doesn’t value you will be apathetic to your discomfort.
If your boyfriend doesn’t pay attention to or care about your pain and suffering, it’s a clear sign he doesn’t value you.
5. He puts you in danger knowingly
As human beings, we take our safety seriously because we value our lives.
Similarly, we don’t deliberately put our loved ones in danger. But the reverse is often the case when you’re in a bad relationship.
A man who doesn’t value you will have little or no regard for your life because he’s confident that he’ll get another woman if the need arises.
On the other hand, a good man who loves and cherishes you will always prioritize your safety because he’s concerned about you and doesn’t want to ever lose you.
6. He never considers you when making plans
Does your man omit you from his decision-making process?
Does he dismiss you with a wave of the hand when you feel inconvenienced by his change of plans?
This is a big sign he doesn’t value you or your relationship.
When you’re with the right man, you’ll always feel included in his life and he’ll be considerate of you when he’s making future plans.
If your partner disregards you when making important decisions, he doesn’t see you as a vital part of his life.
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7. He doesn’t respect your privacy or boundaries
Setting boundaries in a relationship is important because they protect you from abuse.
When a partner disrespects your privacy or crosses your boundaries repeatedly, this shows that you’re not valued.
One of the biggest signs a man doesn’t love you is that he will overstep your boundaries even when he’s aware of them.
If your partner doesn’t respect you enough to adhere to some ground rules, this is a major cause for concern.
8. He shows little or no interest in your career
When you’re in love with someone, you automatically want to get involved in every part of their life.
Even if your partner is a nerd who’s obsessed with computers, you will pick an interest in his career because you love him.
If your partner shows zero interest in your career or personal life, it’s a sign he doesn’t take you seriously.
A loving partner would ask you about your job and patiently listen to you rant without being judgmental.
He’ll also celebrate with you and be proud of your accomplishments.
9. He doesn’t care about your feelings
Good men pay attention to their women and take note of their feelings.
In long-term relationships, some men go out of their way to study a woman’s facial expressions and mood swings to understand her better.
When someone doesn’t value your feelings, they’ll act irresponsibly and neglect your emotional needs on a regular basis.
If your man talks to you rudely or treats you badly with total disregard for your feelings, he’s not deserving of you.
10. He cheats on you with other women repeatedly
One of the clearest signs he takes you for granted is that he’ll flirt with other women openly and even sleep with them.
Infidelity is never a good thing in a relationship unless you’re a fan of open relationships.
However, if you’ve both agreed to be monogamous and your partner cheats on you on different occasions, it’s just plain disrespectful.
A man who loves you will be cautious of being unfaithful to you because he values you and the loving relationship you’ve built together.
Whether there is an apology or not, if your partner continues to cheat on you, this is an obvious sign he doesn’t know your worth.
11. He abuses you verbally, emotionally, or physically
In an abusive relationship, there is usually a high level of toxicity that makes it impossible for people to thrive.
Common examples include constant name-calling, gaslighting, playing mind games, being aggressive or violent, and stonewalling.
When you’re with a good man, you’ll be treated as an equal partner and best friend.
This means he won’t hurt you deliberately even if he’s angry.
He’ll be patient, empathetic, and understanding with you. If your man abuses you in any way, it’s a big sign he doesn’t value you.
12. He sees you as a bedmate rather than a romantic partner
It feels good to be physically appealing to a man but when you’re only important for physical intimacy, it becomes concerning.
A man who genuinely loves you will acknowledge you as his partner and treat you as such whether you’re in bed together or not.
If your partner only dotes on you when he wants to get laid or when he wants to flaunt your attractiveness to his friends, he doesn’t care about you.
He’s only using you to satisfy his intimate needs. When he eventually gets bored, he’ll discard you for someone prettier.
If you’ve discovered that your partner doesn’t value you, what can you do about it?
Here are a few steps you can take to handle the situation:
HOW TO TREAT A MAN WHO DOESN’T VALUE YOU
When you realize your boyfriend doesn’t value you, you may decide to treat him badly as revenge.
But being vengeful or mean will only put you on the same level as your partner.
Instead of treating him badly, let your boyfriend know politely that you deserve more and if he can’t respect you, you’ll leave.
WHAT TO SAY TO A MAN WHO DOESN’T VALUE YOU
The most important things in a relationship are free and you don’t need to beg for them.
If someone doesn’t value you, they deserve to lose you, so don’t be afraid to leave a partner who doesn’t recognize your worth.
When a man ignores your value, say this to him:
“I know my worth and I deserve to be treated better. Even though you don’t realize my worth, someone else will see my potential and value me for who I am.”
HOW TO LEAVE SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T VALUE YOU
The best way to break up with a partner who doesn’t value you is to tell them face-to-face that you’re leaving (if they’re not violent or abusive).
If you feel uncomfortable confronting them, send them a long text message explaining how you feel and why you’re breaking up with them.
You may also choose to call them and end your relationship on the phone. Do whatever feels right and comfortable to you.
When you get accustomed to the rollercoaster emotions of toxic relationships, it’s impossible to think that you deserve anything less.
The reality is that our brains learn to adapt in the most difficult situations.
This means even though you don’t enjoy being treated like trash, you adjust and unknowingly accept it as your new normal.
Luckily, this doesn’t have to be your story anymore. You can break out of the traumatic cycle and find someone worthy of your love.
You deserve to be treated like a queen. Don’t settle for less and remain with someone who takes you for granted.
Learn to love yourself, work on increasing your self-worth and establish healthy boundaries in your life. By doing this, men will value you in return.
The bottom line is that when a man values you, you’ll know it because you’ll feel wanted, loved and appreciated.
If he’s not fulfilling your emotional needs and making you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, this is a sign he doesn’t value you.
When you’re in a healthy relationship, your man will make you feel like you just won the lottery and he’ll constantly have your best interests at heart.
He’ll shower you with genuine compliments, listen to you when you’re having a bad day and go out of his way to make you feel comfortable.
If your partner doesn’t value you, let him know that you’re unhappy in the relationship and if he refuses to treat you better, move on. Never be with someone who doesn’t value you.
Don’t ignore the red flags and stay because you love him. Choose to put yourself first even when you’re in a romantic relationship.
The last thing you want is a man who takes advantage of you and treats you like a second choice.
If you’re looking for a certified relationship coach to help you through difficult love situations like this, visit OnlineTherapy to work directly with one of their best relationship coaches.
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About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life. As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are important in building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.