Most women crave to be in romantic relationships that fulfill their needs, but sometimes they find themselves with bad partners who mistreat them.
Could this be because they’re doing the wrong things or choosing the wrong type of men?
While you may be trying your best to keep a man, you’re probably not doing the right things in a relationship.
One of the biggest mistakes women make in relationships is to sacrifice themselves to make a man happy.
When you put yourself last all the time, your partner will learn that it’s okay to take you for granted and you’ll never truly be happy with your love life.
There are so many other things women do that prevent them from having a healthy, loving relationship that lasts for a lifetime and we’ll take a look at them in this article.
15 BIGGEST MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If you’ve been struggling to build a committed relationship with a man, it could be because you’ve been making these 15 biggest relationship mistakes.
1. Pursuing a man for love and attention
Most women make the mistake of chasing a man for love and attention when they start a new relationship.
While it may seem as if you’re just trying to show him that you’re really interested in dating him, it makes him pull away from you.
When you contact a man excessively, he’ll get bored with you fast and run away. Plus, he’ll think you have nothing else going on in your life.
The best way to make a man fall in love with you and even commit to a serious relationship is to ignore him sometimes and stay busy doing the things you love.
For example, don’t be the first person to text or call after a first date, and don’t suggest that you go on a second date either.
Being unavailable will make him miss you and once a man starts to miss you, he’ll see you as an important part of his life that he can’t live without.
No matter how excited you are, texting or calling a man first after the first date shows neediness and desperation.
If he enjoyed your company and wants to get to know you better, he’ll contact you first so don’t rush to say, “I loved our date, let’s meet again.”
Of course, there are rare occasions where you might feel a deep connection with someone on a date and you really have to reach out first.
Just make sure you wait a few hours before contacting them. You’ll make more impact this way if you allow some time to pass.
2. Falling in love way too fast
In most cases where women are the first to contact a man after a date, they are also the first ones to fall in love.
This is because they’re already investing their time, attention, and passion into making a man like them when he’s not even putting enough effort.
Being emotionally attached to a man in the beginning stages of a relationship is risky especially when you’re not sure if you’re on the same page yet.
When you let yourself fall for a man fast, you’re putting yourself in a tight spot because he may not even be that into you and you’ll be brokenhearted when you find out he doesn’t love you back.
If you’re just starting out in a new relationship, my advice is to slow down and let the relationship unfold naturally.
Don’t lovebomb a man and try to speed up his feelings for you by texting every morning and night, calling him 20 times a day, buying him nice gifts, and taking him out to lunch.
By doing this, you’re going to become the pursuer which is okay for casual hookups, but if you’re looking for a serious relationship, you need to be the pursued.
While it may be difficult to stop yourself from falling in love with a guy, you can try to control your emotions instead of letting them control you.
Don’t do a man’s job for him or make it easy for him to date you. Men don’t value women who are desperate for love and attention.
Plus, if you chase a man and eventually get him to date you, you’ll have a challenge making him commit to a serious relationship.
This is because you’ve been the only one putting in the effort from day one and he has become accustomed to that relationship pattern.
If you don’t want this type of situation on your hands, don’t give a man a free ride into your heart and life; let him work for it.
That’s the only way he’ll step up and become the partner you need in your life.
3. Not setting good boundaries
Having healthy boundaries in a romantic relationship is the most important thing you’ll need to do to protect yourself and your space.
One common mistake women make when they’re with a man is not having some ground rules in place.
When you refuse to set good boundaries and stick to them, you’re indirectly telling a man that he has free rein in your life and he can do whatever he pleases.
This means he can force you to do things you dislike, talk to you in any tone of voice he wants, treat you anyhow he likes, and flirt with any woman he finds attractive.
Don’t allow a man to behave like a single person when he’s dating you and don’t give him the impression that he’s doing you a favor by being with you.
Set some standards and let him know that if he won’t respect your boundaries, you’ll leave because you value yourself over being in an unhealthy relationship.
For instance, if you always meditate in the morning at 7am, your man should be able to respect your privacy and not disturb you when you’re trying to have a quiet time.
Also, if you hate sharing your food or being tickled, your partner should be okay with that and not try to force you to be the way he wants.
Don’t make the mistake of being so nice and respectful in a relationship that you neglect to establish good boundaries.
Couples in healthy relationships have solid boundaries that they both respect.
If you refuse to set some ground rules because you love a man, you’re automatically giving him permission to take you for granted.
4. Refusing to say what you really want in a relationship
A lot of women make this terrible mistake of not saying what they want from a man or a romantic relationship.
They pretend to be okay with what they’re getting because they don’t want to come off as demanding.
This is not the best route to take when you’re looking for a fulfilling long-term relationship with a man.
If you accept breadcrumbs instead of the whole loaf, you’ll keep getting served breadcrumbs unless you honor your needs and say what you actually want.
Try to clarify what you want from a man in a romantic relationship before you get serious with each other.
What type of partner are you looking for? Do you want someone you can talk to and cuddle with? Or are you okay with a partner who doesn’t intensely express their love?
What do you expect to get in a relationship? Do you need quality time, undivided attention, passionate romance, or a great level of communication?
Tell your man all those things you need to feel loved, wanted, and appreciated.
It’s important to communicate your needs and expectations in a relationship because that’s the only way they’ll be met consistently.
A man who genuinely loves you will take note of everything you say and try to give you what you want as long as he can afford it.
If you prefer going to less crowded restaurants, don’t let a man take you to noisy bars and if you like vintage items, let your man know so he’ll buy the gifts you truly appreciate.
When you refuse to tell a man what you need, you’ll end up feeling unhappy and dissatisfied in your relationship.
So learn to communicate clearly instead of allowing your man to make wrong assumptions about your needs.
5. Not asking the right questions
Another mistake most women make when they start dating someone new is to ask relationship questions that aren’t deep and thought-provoking.
This can lead to a shallow connection with a man you don’t really know and when he shows you his real personality down the road, you’ll think he has changed.
Apart from asking questions like what’s your favorite food and color, there’s other vital information you need to get from a man to see if he has potential.
For example, if you’re interested in getting married within a few years, ask a man where he hopes to see himself in the next five years. Does he mention marriage and kids? That’s a good sign.
If he’s talking about chasing his career or relocating to a new city, he may not be thinking about tying the knot anytime soon, which means you’ll have to wait a long time to get a ring on your finger.
To avoid having a false illusion about your romantic partner and his future plans, dig deep and ask tough questions that reveal his real identity.
When you ask the right questions in a romantic relationship, you’ll get the right questions that’ll show you if you’re with the right person or not.
6. Tolerating disrespect and bad behavior from a man
One of the biggest mistakes women make in relationships is accepting bad behavior and disrespect from a man.
Most times, this problem comes from a lack of good boundaries and solid rules in a relationship.
When you don’t teach a man how to treat you, he’ll behave anyhow he likes and if it goes on for too long, he’ll get used to treating you like trash.
You need to value yourself and know your self-worth before you get into any type of relationship with a man.
As a high-value woman, you also need to have some standards that qualify a man to be with you.
A man who abuses you, cheats on you, or tries to control you isn’t the best partner for you. You shouldn’t have to beg or force someone to love and respect you.
These are the benefits of being in a healthy, loving relationship and if a man can’t give them to you, you need to leave him.
Stop making excuses for him and adjusting your standards to accommodate his bad behavior. Stop waiting for him to change someday and become a better partner.
Abusive people rarely change instead they’ll get worse as you continue to accept the nasty behavior they’re throwing at you.
You deserve someone who will love you the way you need so stop settling for a man who treats you like crap.
Have the courage to leave a bad partner and create space for a real man to find you.
If you have kids, it may be difficult to end your relationship because of personal reasons, but I promise you’re doing the right thing for yourself and your kids by leaving a toxic partner.
It’s better for them to grow up in a household with one happy parent than two unhappy and bitter parents who fight all the time.
Set an example for your kids and show them that it’s not okay to accept disrespect or abuse from anyone.
If you want a great relationship, you must stop tolerating anything less than loving, respectful behavior from a man.
7. Ignoring the red flags that pop up in a relationship
In every bad relationship, there are always red flags that tell you to run.
But most women ignore these warning signs and instead blame their insecurity issues.
The number one deadly mistake you’ll ever make when seeing someone is to dismiss the red flags that signify a partner is not good for you.
A lot of abusive relationships can be avoided if only women would acknowledge and address the negative personality traits they see in their potential partners in the early stages of dating.
For instance, when a new partner speaks rudely to the waiter serving you on your date and it triggers you in any way, don’t dismiss the sign.
Another example is when you disagree with your partner about something and they try to force you to accept their own viewpoint even when you’ve told them where you stand.
A man who is nice to you but rude to others may have anger management issues that’ll cause relationship issues in the future.
Stop ignoring those little red flags that appear in a relationship to warn you of possible danger.
Loving someone unconditionally doesn’t mean you have to accept bad behavior from them or turn a blind eye to their toxic personality traits.
Pay attention to the things that don’t seem right and make sure you do a thorough investigation of all the signs that show up before moving on to the next level.
8. Staying in a toxic or abusive relationship that’s unhealthy for you
Another terrible mistake women make is to stay with an abusive or toxic partner with the hope that things will get better.
There are so many women out there who are trapped in unhealthy relationships and they are finding it hard to leave even though they know they should.
I understand financial challenges, lack of support, fear of being alone, and other valid reasons can keep you stuck with a partner who is bad for you.
If you’re currently in a toxic relationship and you’re looking for a way out, having a strong support system and a plan of escape can be immensely helpful.
You can take little action steps like joining a support group, getting a part-time job, or starting a side hustle online for some extra cash.
Being in an abusive relationship can be devastating to your mental health and overall well-being.
No matter what your situation is right now, you can pull through if you don’t give up. Just find a way to end your abusive relationship so you can be free to live your best life.
You deserve to be loved the right way, even if you’re still learning to love yourself.
9. Not listening to your instincts
Similar to watching out for red flags, listening to your instincts can pay off in a lot of ways.
When you don’t listen to your instincts or stay alert in a relationship, you can end up in big trouble someday.
If you have a gut feeling that your partner is cheating on you or hiding something from you, don’t ignore it especially if it keeps bugging you.
Confront them in a non-aggressive manner and ask for an explanation for their suspicious behavior.
Don’t assume that everything is okay when your mind is telling you that something is definitely wrong.
Observe your partner’s actions more closely to see if they align with their words.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you need to turn into a private investigator but if your internal alarm goes off, it’s wise to find out if your relationship is on the right track.
You’ll save yourself a lot of heartache and pain if you listen to your instincts while in a romantic relationship.
10. Sacrificing yourself for a man who’s not putting in the effort
So many women are in one-sided relationships where they’re doing everything to make a man love them and appreciate them, yet he’s unwilling to reciprocate the love.
If a man is not ready to put in as much effort as you into making your relationship work, you’re going to end up feeling frustrated, resentful, and unappreciated.
Does your man sit on the couch and play video games all day while you put food on the table and do the house chores? He’s obviously not ready to be a responsible man who deserves your love.
Stop sacrificing yourself and neglecting your needs to make someone else happy when they don’t even care enough about you.
You deserve to be loved, pampered, and taken care of too. Learn to put yourself first in a relationship and teach a man how to value you.
Whether you invest all your time, energy, and money to make him stay, he can still decide to leave you for another woman tomorrow.
So the best thing you can do is to prioritize your needs and remind yourself that you’re important too.
When you’re with a real man, you won’t have to beg or bribe him into loving you. He’ll show you immense love, support, and care because that’s what a healthy relationship should look like.
11. Expecting a man to change someday
As a relationship coach, one of the biggest mistakes I see women making over and over again is expecting their men to change.
In most cases, this never happens and you’ll find yourself with a partner you totally despise.
The remedy to this problem is to not date someone you don’t like and to learn to accept your partner for who they are if you’re already in a relationship.
It’s understandable that you may want to give someone a chance even if they don’t fit the perfect description of the life partner you’re looking for, but it’s best to lower your expectations if you decide to date them.
When you hope, pray, or wish for a man to change, it means you don’t accept them wholeheartedly which can lead to resentment in your relationship.
If you’ve been secretly wishing for your man to change, stop doing that and instead make a decision to either leave or stay and accept him fully.
You’re wasting your time and energy on something that may never happen.
A man can only change if he decides to become a better partner not because you want him to adjust his attitude.
12. Being co-dependent in a relationship
Codependency is an unhealthy relationship pattern where one partner depends on the other for everything and can’t function properly alone.
While it’s okay to spend quality time with your significant other and do some things together, relying on him completely is not a good idea.
As an individual, it’s essential to have your own interests and hobbies. This is the best way to ensure personal growth.
Don’t rely on a man for everything no matter how much he loves you or provides for you.
Have your own side hustle, open a bank account in your name, and make little decisions by yourself.
It’s important to be independent when you’re in a relationship with a man. This doesn’t mean you get to boss him around or do things without letting him know.
Being independent means having a life outside your relationship and maintaining a strong connection with your friends and family members.
It also means prioritizing your needs and engaging in meaningful activities without your partner.
Don’t abandon everything you love the minute you find a romantic partner; keep your independence and have a life of your own.
13. Keeping in touch with your ex
Unless you have a child or shared property with your ex, it’s unwise to maintain contact with them when you’re in a new relationship.
Not only will it make your partner feel insecure, but it can also cause a lot of relationship problems between you.
There is a good reason why someone becomes your ex, so don’t complicate issues by keeping in touch with them.
If your relationship didn’t work out, there’s really no need to try to build a friendship with an ex. Just move on and focus on making your current relationship work out.
Of course, this doesn’t have to be the case if you have kids together because you can’t prevent them from seeing your child unless you have a restraining order.
However, if you don’t share anything in common, maintaining contact with your ex is a big mistake you need to avoid when you’re in a relationship with someone else.
It’s also important not to talk about your exes with your partner except on rare occasions where it’s absolutely necessary to drop them into the conversation.
14. Not seeking professional help from a relationship coach or couples therapist
Most people think going for counseling is a waste of time and money but it’s often the best decision you can make to save a failing relationship.
When you’re feeling confused or stuck in your relationship, a therapist can work with you to find healthy solutions for your problems.
You can also discover better ways to communicate with your partner, how to fight fair in a relationship, and how to navigate personality disorders as a couple.
Even if you’re not experiencing any challenges in your relationship but need help with your mental health, you can talk to a therapist online and get a treatment plan that suits your needs.
Signing up for individual therapy to resolve relationship problems or deal with psychological issues can be highly beneficial to your love life.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to save your relationship before you consult a couples therapist.
And stop taking advice from your friends, colleagues, and family members who are not qualified to help you deal with your issues.
If you’re struggling with poor communication, addiction, or conflict resolution in your relationship, don’t hesitate to sign up for counseling.
15. Listening to the wrong people
It’s normal for women to turn to their family and friends during hard times but when you’re experiencing challenges in your relationship, asking them for advice isn’t the best action to take.
When your loved ones give you relationship advice, they’re doing it from a place of love but it may not always be the right advice for what you’re dealing with it at the moment.
Plus, they may be emotionally biased in their thoughts and opinions when they try to intervene in your love life.
When you’re struggling with relationship issues, it’s best to seek professional help from a licensed therapist who’s qualified to assist you.
Taking advice from your friends and family members is not the best choice to make because they don’t have the necessary qualifications and skills to help you with your problems.
No matter how much they love and care for you, it’s unwise to ask them for advice especially when you’re dealing with serious relationship issues.
Even if they claim to have experienced the exact same thing as you, remember that every relationship is different and all men are not the same.
If you’ve been making any of these relationship mistakes, this is a reminder for you to step up the game and become a better version of yourself.
Sacrificing your needs for a man or making excuses for his toxic behavior will not lead to a happy relationship.
You’ll only end up in an unhealthy relationship where you’re disrespected, your needs are ignored, and your boundaries are violated.
Learn to have some standards and communicate your expectations early when you get into a relationship with a man.
This is the best way to honor your authentic self and attract the right person into your life.
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life. As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are important in building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.