What To Do When You Feel Alone In A Relationship

what to do when you feel alone in a relationship

Do you ever find yourself feeling lonely or neglected in your relationship?

Most people think you should never feel alone in a relationship, but having a romantic partner doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be happy forever.

Every relationship has challenges and there are going to be moments when you feel like you’re all alone in the world even when you have a significant other.

Couples in healthy relationships also experience emotional disconnection, poor communication, and distance from time to time.

The key to getting back together is to keep putting in the effort and never give up on each other.

You’ve invested too much to throw it all away because of a rough patch.

If you are struggling with feelings of loneliness despite having an intimate partner, know that this is only a phase.

Feeling alone in a relationship can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that these feelings are valid and can be addressed.

In this article, you’ll discover what to do when you feel alone in a relationship and how to reconnect with your significant other.

what to do when you feel alone in a relationship


If you’re in a relationship but feel like you’re all alone, the distance between you and your partner can seem vast and insurmountable.

You may miss the closeness you used to share and wonder if you’ll ever get it back. Don’t lose hope—it’s possible to reconnect.

Even small changes can help bridge the gap between you and bring back the intimacy in your relationship.

Here’s how to stop feeling alone in a relationship and reignite the spark in your love life.

1. Recognize the signs of being alone

Some people may mistake temporary sadness for loneliness, so it’s important to be sure you’re feeling alone and not being paranoid.

If your relationship feels distant or disconnected, here are sure signs you’re alone even though you have a partner:

You spend most of your time apart or doing separate activities. When was the last time you went out together or tried something new as a couple?

Conversations seem superficial. If deep, meaningful talks are rare and you mostly just chat about tasks or schedules, it’s time to reconnect emotionally.

Physical intimacy is lacking. Feeling close through affection, intimacy, and lovemaking is important for a healthy relationship.

If it’s been a while since you were intimate with your partner, make rekindling your physical connection a priority.

You feel like you can’t share certain parts of yourself. When couples hold back from opening up about their thoughts, feelings, or struggles, it creates distance. Make an effort to share more of yourself with your partner.

You feel unheard or misunderstood. Listening to understand each other is key to building a good relationship.

If you feel your partner doesn’t “get” you or isn’t interested in what you say, speak up and work on improving your communication.

When you realize you’re truly feeling alone in your relationship, be ready to take adequate steps to bridge the gap, deepen your emotional intimacy, and reconnect with your significant other.

2. Reflect on what’s changed in your relationship

When you start to feel distant from your partner, it’s time for some reflection.

Think back to when you first started dating—what did you bond over? What made you laugh together? What adventures did you share?

Revisiting those memories can help rekindle your connection. Sometimes if you’re feeling alone in your relationship, it’s because you’re not spending enough time with your partner.

Maybe you’re both preoccupied with work or responsibilities that you barely have time for each other.

Try to pinpoint what’s making you feel alone. Is it a lack of communication, emotional intimacy, or quality time?

Being able to identify exactly what has changed in your love life can help you know what needs to be fixed.

Once you understand what’s causing these feelings of loneliness, you’ll be in a better position to address them.

what to do when you feel alone in a relationship

3. Communicate your feelings and needs to your partner

Communicating openly and honestly with your partner is one of the best ways to reconnect when you’re feeling alone in the relationship.

Tell your partner how their distance and lack of affection have made you feel. Use “I” statements, like “I feel lonely when we don’t spend quality time together.”

Explain that while you understand life gets busy, connecting with them is a priority for you.

Ask them to share how they’ve been feeling as well. Discussing feelings, even difficult ones, can help bring you closer.

With work and busy schedules, it’s easy to get into a routine of quick hellos and goodbyes.

Make time each day to talk, even if just for 15-30 minutes. Discuss your goals, your experiences, and your struggles.

Talk about the good times. Share stories of fun dates, inside jokes, and places you’ve explored.

Make eye contact, give your full attention, and listen without judgment.

These meaningful conversations can help you feel more emotionally and physically intimate.

Remember to get rid of distractions before talking. Put away your phones, turn off the TV, and make connecting with your partner a priority.

If you don’t know what to say, use these 250 conversation starters to get the words flowing.

4. Make time for activities you both enjoy

Making time for fun activities you both enjoy is so important for reconnecting as a couple.

Do things together that you used to bond over when you first started dating. Here are a few activities to try with your partner:

Cook a meal

Cooking a meal together can be a great way to reconnect. Pick out a recipe you both love and spend time preparing it side by side.

Laugh, talk, and enjoy each other’s company while chopping veggies or stirring the pot.

Sharing a home-cooked meal you made together will help spark that feeling of closeness again.

Watch a movie

Curl up on the couch for a movie marathon of your favorite films. Get cozy under a blanket, munch on some snacks, and escape from your worries for a while.

Discuss your favorite parts afterward and chat about the memories those movies stir up.

Some quality couch time can do wonders for rekindling your connection.

Go for a walk

Get outside for some fresh air and exercise together. Go for a stroll at your local park, hike a nature trail, or just wander around your neighborhood.

Walking releases endorphins that boost your mood and make you feel good.

And quality time together outside of your usual routine can help you open up, engage in deeper conversations, and find your way back to one another.

Make time for romance

Flirt with your partner, give compliments, hug, kiss, and hold hands. Physical intimacy leads to emotional intimacy.

Don’t be reluctant to express your feelings. Say “I love you” often, give random affection, and write a heartfelt note or letter to share how much you appreciate them.

Making time for simple, shared pleasures in life is the key to feeling close again.

Pick activities you genuinely enjoy together and make them a priority in your relationship.

Your partner is worth the effort, so take things day by day, continue communicating openly, and appreciate each moment you have together.

If you’re looking for more bonding ideas, get this 365 Days of Romance eBook to discover great activities for couples.

5. Invest in yourself and do the things you enjoy

Feeling so alone in your relationship can often lead to depression because most humans need social connections to be happy.

If your significant other doesn’t want to engage in shared activities, focus on doing things you love every day.

Investing in yourself and nurturing your interests can help to increase your level of happiness and fulfillment.

Make time for the things you find meaningful. Think about the interests or hobbies you enjoy but have put on the back burner. Start engaging in them again.

Whether it’s enrolling in art classes, book clubs, volunteering, or exercising, create time to do what energizes you. Don’t forget to connect with your inner circle too!

Spending time with friends and pursuing meaningful hobbies can help to improve your physical health and emotional well-being.

You’ll feel better and less alone as you maintain your own identity instead of relying on your partner to make you happy.

Take a class on something you’re passionate about. Learn to cook, paint, or play an instrument.

Listen to your favorite music, read an interesting book, call a good friend, or get out in nature.

Investing in yourself is the best gift you can give to your partner and your relationship.

When you feel whole and happy, you’ll have so much more to offer to the person you love.

And your feelings of being alone or disconnected will subside as you focus on doing the things you love.

what to do when you feel alone in a relationship

6. Join a support group of like-minded individuals

If you’re tired of being alone in a relationship and you need someone to talk to, consider joining a support group near you or online.

You can meet people who understand what you’re going through and gain access to helpful resources.

Instead of feeling depressed and constantly yearning for your partner’s attention, connecting with others who have similar experiences is a great way to spend your time.

Hopefully, when you get busy with your life, your significant other will notice your absence and begin to miss you.

And you’ll grow stronger and more independent as a result of interacting with new people outside your social circle.

7. Practice patience and empathy

One of the most important things to do when you feel alone is to be patient with your partner and yourself as you work through your feelings.

Changes will not happen overnight so cultivating patience is a must!

Be willing to listen without judgment and create opportunities for your partner to open up by asking questions about their day, feelings, or goals.

Put yourself in their shoes and try to see the situation from their point of view.

Ask yourself how you would feel in their place. This can help build compassion and diffuse tensions.

It’s also necessary to give each other space when needed. While quality time together is important, respect each other’s need for independence and alone time too.

Finally, let go of built-up resentment, forgive your partner for the pain they’ve caused, and choose to move forward with a clean slate.

Being with a romantic partner doesn’t automatically translate to eternal bliss.

You have to consistently put in the work to keep your relationship afloat.

You also have to be ready to navigate the ups and downs of your love life with maturity.

Things are not going to be perfect but that doesn’t mean you should give up.

Keep fighting for your love, compromise when you can, and stay focused on growing your relationship. It will all be worth it in the end.

what to do when you feel alone in a relationship

8. Consider relationship counseling if nothing improves

If communication issues persist and you continue to feel alone in your relationship, it may help to speak to a professional.

Sometimes, it’s beneficial to involve a neutral third party like a couples therapist who can help you identify the root causes of your problems and show you how to reconnect with your partner.

Do some research to find licensed counselors in your area that specialize in dating and relationships.

Then schedule consultations with a few to find one you both feel comfortable with.

If you decide to work on your relationship, go into counseling with an open mind. The process may bring up difficult emotions or require challenging self-reflection.

But a good counselor can help you work through relationship roadblocks and find your way back to each other.

However, for counseling to be effective, you must apply what you learn to your relationship.

Follow the therapist’s recommendations around improving communication, setting boundaries, or rekindling intimacy.

But don’t expect counseling to fix all your issues in just a few sessions.

Building a healthy relationship takes work and commitment over time. Both partners need to be willing to open up, listen, learn, and put in the necessary work. 

9. Don’t be afraid to walk away

If after trying to reconnect, you still feel alone and unhappy in the relationship, it may be time to walk away.

Staying in a relationship where you feel isolated and unfulfilled will only make you feel worse over time.

As difficult as it is, leaving a relationship that is no longer right for you can open you up to finding one where you feel loved and supported.

You deserve to be in a healthy relationship where you feel connected to your partner.

Walking away is not an easy choice, but it may be necessary for your well-being. Some signs it’s time to leave include:

You feel disrespected, criticized, or emotionally abused

You have grown apart and want different things

You are constantly arguing or fighting

You no longer feel loved or supported

You have fallen out of love

Don’t stay with someone who isn’t right for you just because it’s convenient or you’re scared of being alone. Your happiness should be your top priority.

While the end of a relationship is painful, you will heal and find love again.

But before you leave, talk to your partner openly and honestly about how you’re feeling. Be clear that you feel the relationship is no longer right for you.

If after communicating openly, nothing changes and you still feel alone, it may be best for both of you to go your separate ways.

Ending a relationship is difficult, but staying in an unhealthy relationship will only make you feel increasingly isolated and unhappy.

Have the courage to do what’s best for you – you deserve to feel loved and connected to your partner. Walking away may be the kindest choice for you both.


If you’ve been struggling with feelings of loneliness for a while, you might be wondering, “Is it normal to feel alone in a relationship?”

The truth is that having a romantic partner doesn’t guarantee happiness. You must be responsible for keeping yourself happy.

Your partner will not always be around you and may also have their own challenges, which can affect their mental or emotional health.

When a person feels stressed or overwhelmed from work, chores, or family obligations, it may affect their love lives.

Try to be patient with your partner and keep putting in the effort to get your relationship back on track.

Sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of commitment and refocusing on your connection with each other.

Start putting in the work to engage with your partner more deeply, try new shared experiences together, and make physical intimacy a priority.

You’ll likely find that the feelings of loneliness and distance will start to fade as you strengthen your bond.

Don’t lose hope – every relationship goes through ups and downs, but with commitment, you can get through this together.

Stay focused on the love you share and keep working to reconnect. Remember, it’s okay to feel the way you do.

But if your feelings of loneliness persist, it’s crucial to seek help, either through therapy or by reaching out to trusted friends and family members.


Recommended reading:

14 Things To Try Before Giving Up On A Relationship

21 Obvious Signs Your Relationship Is Over

How To Know When To Walk Away From A Relationship

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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