Building a long-term relationship with someone takes a lot of commitment and effort.
But sometimes, no matter how much you’ve invested into a relationship, you may contemplate giving up on it because you think it’s the only option.
While it’s okay to admit your relationship is no longer working and let it go, trying one last time to revive it may pay off.
Are you thinking of giving up on your relationship because it’s not working anymore and you’ve tried all you can to improve it?
I understand how devastating it can be to put a lot of love, attention, and hard work into a relationship to watch it crumble before your eyes.
However, I’m certain there are still many effective remedies you’ve not tested and I’m going to show you a few things to try before giving up on a relationship.
14 THINGS TO TRY BEFORE GIVING UP ON A RELATIONSHIP
Romantic relationships need a lot of time, energy, and devotion to succeed.
However, even when you’ve put in all you have to build a thriving love life, it may not be enough to attain what you want.
If you’re about to give up on your relationship because it’s not fulfilling your needs anymore, here are 14 things to do before breaking up with your partner:
1. Pinpoint the major problems in your relationship
The most important thing to do before leaving your relationship is to identify the real issues that are bothering you.
Most people tend to generalize when they are talking about a relationship that’s not working and they’ll bring up irrelevant things that don’t really matter.
This is because when you’re frustrated about something, it’s often hard to see the positive side and you’ll solely focus on all the bad things happening.
To get to the bottom of the problem, try to analyze the challenges you’re experiencing in your relationship and highlight the most significant ones.
For example, if you think your partner is not meeting your expectations, come up with one or two areas where they’re failing horribly, so they’ll know exactly what to fix.
When you have a clear picture of what’s bothering you, you’ll be able to address your relationship problems more effectively.
If you need help figuring out what you want from your partner, this Relationship Needs Worksheet can give you some clarification.
2. Have a long talk with your partner
As a relationship coach, I’ve noticed that when couples decide to break up, they’ve not really sat down together and talked about why they need to go their separate ways.
Most relationship breakups often start with one partner being tired of the other and after a small disagreement, someone walks out in anger.
If you’ve not tried talking to your significant other about the challenges you’re battling in your relationship, have a deep conversation with them and express your true feelings.
You may wrongly assume that your partner knows what you’re going through whereas they feel you’re comfortable and happy.
So before you give up on your romantic relationship, sit down with your partner and talk about everything that’s causing you pain or discomfort.
Talking about issues in depth as a couple can help to give you another perspective on dealing with the problems you’re facing and stimulate real change in your relationship.
3. Forgive yourself and your partner for past mistakes
Forgiveness is an essential ingredient in building a long-term relationship and without it, a couple might find it difficult to stay together.
Love alone is not enough to keep a romantic relationship together because you’re going to have some disagreements and unknowingly say hurtful things to each other in the heat of the moment.
If you don’t practice forgiveness and letting go, you’ll end up keeping score in your relationship, which is not a healthy habit to practice.
Before you give up on your partner, take some time and reflect on the resentments you may have stored up in your mind.
Next, release them into the universe and say out loud that you forgive your partner for all the pain they caused you.
If you’re angry at yourself for any mistake you made in the past, extend forgiveness to yourself too.
When you truly forgive all the wrongs committed in the past, you’ll realize that you can start over on a clean slate and give your relationship another chance to succeed.
4. Change the way you do certain things
After forgiving yourself and your partner, try to adjust your behavior a little bit. If you used to do things out of spite or revenge, begin to act with love and compassion.
For example, if you would naturally argue with your partner over little issues, start to let the irrelevant things slide and be more accommodating in your relationship.
Sometimes, when we learn to be understanding and tolerant of others, we realize that they’re not as bad as we thought they were.
So before you quit your relationship, try to change the way you do certain things and be more kind toward your partner.
5. Speak your partner’s love language often
When was the last time you loved your partner the way they wanted? If it’s been a while, you’re not alone.
Most couples get into the stability phase where they no longer need to impress each other or work hard to keep the love alive after being together for a long time.
The side effect of this stage is that one partner may begin to feel unloved, neglected, and unappreciated.
Due to the feelings of neglect and loneliness, they could lash out at the other partner and act immaturely.
Even though you’ve been with your romantic partner for a long time, it’s important to speak their love language regularly.
Before you throw in the towel, commit to loving your significant other the way they feel loved the most. It could change everything in your relationship!
6. Work on improving your attitude
Another thing to do before giving up on your relationship is to work on becoming a better person.
If you often disrespect your partner, speak to them in a harsh tone, and refuse to compromise on certain things, try to improve those personality traits that are unappealing.
Most people will treat you the way you treat them so if you’re giving off hostile or cold energy to your partner, that’s exactly what you’ll get back.
Have you been giving off a certain vibe that’s turning your partner off? Work on becoming a more loving person and your significant other will reflect the energy back to you.
7. Remember why you fell in love with your partner
Do you remember what made you fall in love with your partner? What attracted you to them in the first place? Do they still have those personality traits you adored?
The most common challenge many people have in romantic relationships is that they can’t relate with the person their partner is becoming in the present moment.
So they resist accepting the new version of their partner and cling to the old one instead.
The key to loving your partner the way they are is to remember why you fell in love with them in the beginning and be willing to grow with them in the relationship.
Being open-minded can help you adapt easily rather than fighting the inevitable and pushing your partner away.
8. Reflect on the good times you had together
When bad things happen, people usually forget the good times because they’re in the past.
However, if you have ever enjoyed a fulfilling relationship with your partner, there’s a high chance you can relive the good old days again.
What was your relationship like before it started falling apart? What activities did you engage in as a couple that shaped your love life?
Try to recall the fun times in your relationship and see if you can recreate those beautiful memories with your loved one before giving up on what you built together.
If you’re looking for something new to help you reignite the spark with your partner, this 90 Day Relationship Challenge is a perfect way for couples to deepen their emotional bond and reawaken their love for each other.
9. Think about what your life would look like without your partner
It’s a good idea to take some time and reflect on the future when you’re on the verge of giving up on your relationship.
Self-reflection ensures you’re not making a hasty decision or jumping to a conclusion about certain issues.
Have you imagined what life would look like without your partner?
Would you feel lonely or free as a bird when you’re away from them?
What would you do with your life if you are no longer in a relationship?
These are the kind of questions that can give you an insight into what you really want out of life and you can only find the answers if you reflect on your heart’s deepest desires.
When you go inwards and spend time in quiet solitude, you will discover ideas you never thought you had.
So think about what your life would look like without your partner as you contemplate saying goodbye to them forever.
10. Talk to trusted friends and family members
Normally, I wouldn’t advise you to discuss your relationship problems with your family and friends.
But there are times when we are confused about the right path to take and a loved one will give us a sense of direction because they know us on a personal level.
If you have people you can trust in your life, have a one-on-one conversation with them and let them know you’re about to give up on your relationship.
Talking to a good friend or family member about your personal challenges can help you see things from a different perspective.
And when you’re about to end a relationship, it’s necessary to be thorough and look at things from various angles before making a final decision.
11. Consult a relationship therapist for advice
Couples therapy has been known to help to mend many broken relationships and prevent a lot of marriages from falling apart.
When you try to fix your relationship with your partner and nothing seems to be working, it may be time to go for couples counseling.
A licensed relationship therapist can give you the right support and tools you need to improve your love life.
Working with a therapist can also help you understand each other better.
12. Give each other time to implement the necessary changes
If you’ve talked to your partner and reflected on the future, you may have a few more things to try before giving up on your relationship.
Instead of being in a haste to leave your partner, give each other time to adjust and implement the stipulated changes you want to see in your relationship.
You can decide to stay for one more year and see if anything improves in your love life.
If nothing changes after putting in the effort and doing your best, then you can leave knowing that you’ve given the relationship all you could to make it work.
13. Pray about your relationship problems
As a Christian, I believe there’s nothing impossible for God to do in the life of an individual.
Whether you’re a believer or not, God can turn things around in your life, save you from all your troubles, and give you hope for the future.
While you’re waiting to see if anything improves in your relationship, pray to God for Divine intervention and let go of the need to control the outcome.
You can read the book of Psalms every morning and night to strengthen your faith during the darkest moments of your life.
As you pray, believe all your prayers have been answered and that everything is going to work out in your favor.
God never fails; the only thing that delays your miracles is your doubts and lack of faith.
14. Travel to somewhere new
A change of location can be instrumental in helping you decide your next move.
When you’ve been in a particular place for a long time, it gets boring, and moving to somewhere new will give you time to think properly.
If you feel like giving up on your relationship after trying everything you can, the last thing to do is travel to a different location.
Is there a place you’ve always dreamed of visiting but haven’t due to a variety of reasons?
This could be the perfect time to pack your bags and go on an adventure in a faraway country. What have you got to lose anyway?
If you ask me, I think you can gain a lot from embarking on this voyage of a lifetime because you’ll never be the same again.
You can even travel with your partner if you’re both looking for a change of scenery.
Maintaining a romantic relationship takes a lot of time, energy, and commitment from both partners.
Falling in love with someone is the simplest thing you can do but keeping the passion alive is where the challenge lies.
You’re not alone if you feel like ending your relationship and it’s normal to let go of something that’s no longer working for you.
But as you contemplate breaking up with your partner, re-read this article and take note of some of the things to try before giving up on your relationship.
They might work for you and set your love life back on track.
However, if nothing works, accept that you’ve tried your best and whatever happens, you’ll be okay.
12 Things To Remember In A Relationship During Hard Times
How To Stay Positive During Hard Times
How To Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life. As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are important in building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.