Are you dealing with a partner who won’t stop sleeping around?
If yes, you’re probably familiar with that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you discover he’s done it again.
He swore it was a one-time mistake, and that it would never happen again, but he often leaves you feeling heartbroken and betrayed.
The truth is, serial cheaters rarely change their ways, no matter how many chances you give them or how much they promise to be faithful this time.
At some point, you have to face the harsh reality that your man does not respect you or value your relationship enough to remain loyal.
You deserve so much better than a life filled with distrust, lies, and broken promises.
If you’ve caught your guy cheating again and again, it’s time to stop giving him more chances to break your heart.
You know he’ll probably never change so find the courage to accept the truth and break the cycle for good. Here’s what to do when your man won’t stop cheating.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR MAN WON’T STOP CHEATING
It’s often difficult to know what to do when a partner cheats. On one hand, you don’t want to be a doormat and continue to be disrespected in your relationship.
But you can’t summon the courage to leave because you don’t want to start all over and you’re afraid of being alone.
It’s a tricky situation to be in but you always have a choice. If your man is consistently unfaithful to you and refuses to change his ways, here are a few things you can do:
1. Try to understand why he cheats
The first step to dealing with infidelity is to understand why your partner is doing it.
You may not get concrete answers but you’ll have an idea of what drives him to cheat.
The truth is, chronic cheating usually isn’t about you or your relationship. It’s often due to deep-seated issues within the cheater.
Here are a few reasons why men cheat in relationships:
• Low self-esteem: A man may cheat to feel desired and validated. If he doesn’t value himself, he’ll never value you or your relationship.
• Fear of commitment: For some men, cheating is a twisted way to keep emotional distance in a relationship. If he’s not fully committed, he’ll never stop wandering.
• Unresolved childhood issues: How a man views relationships is often shaped by his earliest experiences. Cheating could be a dysfunctional coping mechanism learned in childhood.
• Lack of integrity: Sadly, for certain people, chronic cheating is simply a character flaw and lack of moral values. If your man has no integrity, there may not be any way to build a healthy relationship with him.
While cheating is never the answer, if you know why your man is constantly being unfaithful, it may give you clarity or at least you’ll find closure to move on.
2. Realize that it’s not your fault
When your partner cheats, it’s easy to blame yourself for their actions.
You may be thinking that you didn’t love him enough or show him much attention in the bedroom.
While you may have played your part in creating distance in your relationship, it wasn’t your fault that he cheated.
Stop making excuses for him or blaming yourself. His actions say everything about his poor character and nothing about your worthiness of love.
There are many ways to deal with relationship problems and cheating is not one of them.
Don’t beat yourself up for your man’s infidelity; you had absolutely nothing to do with it.
Instead of overthinking things, take some time to reflect on your self-worth and what you want from a healthy relationship.
You are enough, and you don’t need a man who disrespects you to feel whole.
Do things that boost your confidence like exercising, pursuing hobbies, spending time with supportive friends, or engaging in self-care activities.
When you find out your man has been cheating again, give yourself some space to gain perspective. Don’t initiate contact, argue, or try to catch him in lies.
As hard as no contact is, it’s the only way you’ll gain the clarity you need to make the right choice for you.
If he comes sniffing around with more empty promises, stand firm in your decision. His actions have shown he’s not serious about faithfulness, no matter what he says.
You gave him chance after chance, but he continued to cheat. Now is the time to choose you. Stay focused on self-love and don’t settle for less than you deserve.
3. Confront him about his infidelity
When you’re ready to find closure or get to the root of the problem, talk to your partner about his cheating behaviour.
Confronting a cheating partner is never easy, but it’s necessary to determine whether the relationship can be salvaged or it’s time to move on.
Have an open, honest conversation about the state of your relationship and his infidelity.
Express how his cheating makes you feel using “I” statements, like “I feel betrayed by your actions.”
Ask him directly why he felt the need to cheat and listen with an open mind. He may reveal underlying issues in the relationship you were unaware of.
Allow him to respond and share his perspective. This can be difficult, but it’s important to understand the full picture.
If he’s apologetic and committed to change, relationship counseling could help get things back on track.
However, if he’s defensive, continues lying, or blames you for his cheating, that’s a sign the relationship is unhealthy and irreparable. Don’t let empty promises convince you otherwise.
Speaking openly and honestly is the only way to find the truth in your relationship and gain the strength and courage to build a healthy future.
The conversation may be painful, but it will provide clarity on where you both stand and what path is right for you—whether that’s fixing what you have or starting fresh on your own.
4. Give him an ultimatum to stop cheating
When you’ve caught your man cheating for the umpteenth time, it may be time to issue an ultimatum.
You need to be firm in telling him his behavior won’t be tolerated anymore.
You’ve given him chance after chance, but his cheating ways just won’t stop.
It’s time to get serious and give him two options: either the cheating ends now or the relationship is over.
Sit your partner down, look him in the eye, and have a serious heart-to-heart conversation about his behavior. Tell him his actions are unacceptable and hurtful.
Explain that you won’t tolerate being lied to and betrayed anymore. Let him know in no uncertain terms that this is his last chance—if he cheats again, you’re gone for good.
Calmly but seriously tell him his cheating needs to stop or you’ll walk away from the relationship.
Let him know you will not stick around to be disrespected and humiliated. You deserve better and if he can’t commit to being faithful, then you’re leaving.
Be prepared for excuses and apologies but don’t fall for empty promises of change.
Demand concrete actions, like cutting off all contact with affair partners, being transparent about his whereabouts, and going to couple’s counseling.
If he’s not willing to put in the work to rebuild trust and save your relationship, then he’s not worth any more of your time.
Walking away will be hard, but staying with an unfaithful partner will only destroy your self-esteem in the long run.
Have the courage to choose yourself over someone who treats you badly.
It may be difficult, but stick to your decision and be ready to follow through for your own sake. If he goes back to his old ways, end the relationship and don’t look back.
5. Go for counseling together
Seeking counseling could be one of the best things you do for your relationship, especially when your partner is being unfaithful.
Speaking to a neutral third party can help improve communication, set healthy boundaries, and rebuild trust.
Don’t see it as a sign of failure, but rather as an investment in your future together.
A good counselor will help you uncover the root causes of why your partner feels the need to cheat repeatedly.
Is there an underlying issue with intimacy, validation, or past hurts that needs to be addressed? Are there unhealthy dynamics in the relationship that keep the cycle going?
Counseling offers a safe space to ask difficult questions and find answers. Through counseling you’ll learn skills like active listening, expressing feelings constructively, and compromising.
You’ll gain insights into each other’s perspectives and start appreciating one another again. It may also help clarify whether the relationship is salvageable or if it’s time to walk away.
The decision is ultimately up to you, but counseling provides clarity so you can make the best choice for your well-being.
Don’t expect miracles overnight. Repairing broken trust and changing behaviors will take work and commitment over time.
But if you’re both willing to be honest and put in the effort to understand each other, couples therapy could be the turning point you need.
While cheating is never justified, this could be an opportunity to build a stronger, healthier relationship from the ashes of the past.
6. Work on rebuilding trust and intimacy
While you undergo couples counseling, try to rebuild your emotional connection in healthy ways. Make an effort to strengthen the intimacy in your relationship.
Focusing on physical and emotional closeness will help meet your man’s needs so he’s less tempted to seek fulfillment elsewhere. Here are a few ideas you can try:
Schedule quality time together
Set aside time each week dedicated to just the two of you. Make a habit of going out on regular date nights, and trying new restaurants or activities together.
At home, cuddle up for a movie marathon or game night. Physical touch and quality conversation are bonding experiences that will bring you closer.
Initiate intimacy
Don’t wait for your man to make the first move in bed—take the initiative to start intimacy.
Surprise him with a flirty text message during the day or greet him at the door in lingerie.
Playfulness and spontaneity keep things exciting. Make eye contact, give compliments, and touch him affectionately to show you desire him.
Express your feelings
Openly share how his cheating makes you feel and what you need to rebuild trust.
Honest communication about wants, needs, and insecurities will help get you on the same page so you can work as a team.
Compromise when you disagree and be willing to listen without judgment. Emotional intimacy comes from vulnerability, so share your feelings and encourage him to do the same.
Reviving passion and closeness in your relationship will fulfill your man’s needs so he’s less likely to stray.
Make the effort to prioritize quality time together, initiate intimacy, and express your feelings openly.
A strong emotional and physical bond can help you get back to a place of trust and commitment.
7. Consider walking away if things don’t improve
If your man’s cheating behavior continues despite your best efforts, it may be time to consider walking away.
You deserve a trusting, respectful relationship where you feel secure and cared for. His repeated infidelity shows a lack of respect for you and your feelings.
No matter how much you love him, you can’t force him to change his ways. You’ve given him multiple chances to redeem himself, yet he continues to break your heart.
Perhaps it’s time to accept that he may never stop cheating, and you deserve so much more than constant betrayal and dishonesty.
Rather than continuing to subject yourself to hurt and distrust, walking away may be the healthiest choice.
Ending a long-term relationship is never easy, but choosing self-respect and happiness over constant anxiety and sadness will help you move on to find a loving partner who will treat you well.
You’ve given this relationship your all and now it’s time to put yourself first.
Surround yourself with supportive people, pick up a hobby, start a new routine, and take steps each day to build your confidence.
In time, the pain will fade, and you’ll discover the strength and wisdom this experience has given you.
8. Seek support from your loved ones
When you’ve discovered your partner’s infidelity, it can feel isolating and devastating.
During this difficult time, seek comfort and support from close friends and family members. Let others who care about you help lift you up.
Call your best friend or sister and tell them what’s going on. Hearing a sympathetic voice can help ease the pain, even if just temporarily.
Tell your parents or mentor what’s happening in your relationship. Though it may be hard, your loved ones can offer guidance and help give you perspective.
They’ve known you for years and want the best for you. See if close friends or relatives will spend time with you to help take your mind off the situation.
Go for a hike together, have a movie marathon, or do another activity you both enjoy. Their company and support can help comfort you during this difficult time.
Instead of isolating yourself and pushing your loved ones away, let them help out in practical ways, like bringing you meals, running errands, or giving you space if you need time alone.
While it may seem easier to withdraw inward during heartbreak, resist that urge.
Staying connected to your support network will help you work through relationship troubles and come out on the other side.
Let others nourish you until you can stand on your own two feet again.
Conclusion
If your partner cheats on you repeatedly and you’ve tried all you can to make him stop but he keeps breaking your heart, it’s time to stand up for yourself and walk away from this toxic situation.
Stop letting him manipulate you into staying and don’t think you won’t be able to cope without a partner. You are strong, brave, and resilient—you will get through this.
Stay connected to your support system, keep busy doing things you love, and know that the pain will lessen over time.
This is the start of a new chapter where you can build the life you want, with someone who will treat you well. So take that first courageous step and don’t look back.
Recommended reading:
9 Behaviors That Are Considered Cheating In A Relationship
How To Forgive A Cheater And Love Them Again
How To Make A Relationship Work After Someone Cheats
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.
As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.