If you’re currently experiencing a devastating heartbreak and you’re looking for ways to get over a breakup fast, you’re not alone. Many people go through this heartbreaking experience at least once in their lifetime.
I’ve been there before and I understand exactly how you feel right now. It feels like your heart has been ripped right out of you and yet you can’t stop yourself from thinking about this person who hurt you so bad. It’s like you’re no longer in control of your emotions; they are controlling you now.
Sadly, you’re still head over heels in love with him and you just wish you could squeeze out all the love you have for him and replace it with hate overnight. It can be done but it won’t happen overnight; you have to pass through the same stages of love before you can move on.
The truth is, a breakup has many stages and there is a common process that we all go through but this is a unique experience for you and unfortunately, at this moment, you will feel very alone in your struggle.
People become unpredictable when going through a breakup yet there are certain aspects that are predictable, such as how time is a healer, and that you are going to be going through a vast range of emotions – from loss and sadness to anger, hope, and even optimism.
It’s a rollercoaster ride, and many people live in a state of denial when trying to get over a breakup rather than fully facing the reality of their situation. They are often desperate for a sense of ‘closure’ which is often withheld and they feel as if they are left dangling without direction.
It’s actually funny because the “dumper” is likely going through the exact same state of roller coaster emotions and probably wants to keep their options open with regard to being able to come back if they get too lonely or feel they have made a terrible mistake.
You have to do all you can to get off that rollercoaster ride and get your life back; you definitely deserve better than what you were served but it’s your choice to deal with it like a grown up or let it tear your life apart.
When my ex left me 5 years ago, I was absolutely devasated and I felt as if the walls around my heart were crumbing. I spent a whole week crying and texting my ex hoping he would come back to me; it was a horrible time for me.
I was miserable for over two months then I realized he didn’t even deserve me and I decided to focus on getting my life. It was tough but I did it anyway and I’m proud of myself today. It’s not going to be an easy road for you but you have to do it for yourself and for your future.
To help you pull through the hard times, here are 5 steps to get over a breakup fast and move on easily:
5 STEPS TO GET OVER A BREAKUP & MOVE ON EASILY
1. Apply the “No Contact” rule
If you want to get over a breakup fast, the first thing you need to do is use the “no contact” rule. It involves you breaking off all contact with your ex right away and no, you don’t have to inform him before you do it.
You have to decide on your own to stop communicating with your ex. I’m talking going cold turkey! This means you’re not allowed to call or text your ex for at least 90 days and you’re not supposed to entertain his calls or text messages.
Don’t stalk him or his friends on social media and don’t ask his family members about him either. I know it all sounds extreme but the “no contact rule” is the best way to get over a breakup because your ex can no longer have control over you.
In fact, he has no access to any part of your life without your permission. So, what do you gain from this rule? The no contact rule helps you heal faster and move on easily after a devastating breakup.
If you go against the rule and contact your ex, you have to start all over again until you’re successful. If you successfully establish the “no contact” rule for three months and you realize you no longer have feelings for your ex, you can remain friends with him if you choose.
Don’t agree to stay friends with your ex immediately after your breakup; you still love him and friendship is not going to work out well for now. The only time you can consider being friends with your ex is when you’ve purged out your feelings for him and you don’t miss him anymore when you’re apart.
2. Get rid of emotional triggers
The second step to getting over your ex is to get rid of all the reminders of your relationship. You have to clear the clutter of memories left behind by your ex. Delete his photos from your phone and computer.
Get rid of the photo albums in your bedroom. Throw away his favorite nightshirt you loved to wear to sleep. Give away all the romantic gifts he got for you. Delete the songs that remind you of him. Stop going to places you visited together.
If you really want to get over a breakup, you have to discard all the emotional triggers that remind you of all the mushy things that happened during your relationship. If you hold on to them, you will keep remembering your ex and you won’t be able to move on easily.
Instead, you need to walk away from this door, even just for a while, and recondition your mind to associate pain with this person rather than love because, in reality, that is what you’re getting here. You’re not getting the warm, soft, loving treatment you crave – you’re being abandoned, rejected and perhaps even treated without consideration.
You need to understand what’s behind the door you’re standing at; it only has pain and heartbreak to offer you. Find a way to walk away so that you can knock on a different door where love can reach you.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should rush into another relationship straight away – it simply means you need to refocus your energy and attention in more nourishing ways. Remove all the things that trigger emotional memories of your ex and your relationship.
Don’t put them in a box hoping he’ll come back and you’ll continue from where you stopped. Throw everything away and start afresh. That’s the only way you can move on!
3. Focus on yourself
The third step to get over a breakup is for you to focus solely on yourself and start taking care of yourself. Naturally, all you’re going to want is for your ex to come back and take care of you but now is the time to take back control of your life and start loving yourself rather than wishing someone else will come back and love you.
Start practicing self-love. Go shopping for just yourself. Get a furry pet if you don’t already have one. Do that thing you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t get a chance to try. Get a new hairstyle. Redecorate your entire house. Start planting a garden around your house. Give yourself the nicest treat you can afford and live life to the fullest!
The reality is that you are standing outside a door that once led to a feeling of warmth, love and tenderness. You might still be standing there, you might even be knocking on that door hoping someone will answer but it’s been slammed shut in your face.
Although this feels dreadfully unfair and panic inducing, the one thing you can’t allow yourself to do is keep knocking on a door where love once lived. You have to read the handwriting on the wall and let go of your past.
You may often find yourself getting consumed by a breakup to the point where you lose interest in your daily life and become so wrapped up in the breakup situation. You even obsess about how to make things better, how to win back your ex, what he is currently doing and if he still misses you.
This is not a helpful way to focus your attention and it can be a very destructive slippery slope that leads people to a place where they lose themselves and hardly recover from.
Energy flows where attention goes, so rather than focus on the relationship which has bad energy to it, lift your head up and focus on something that builds you up. I give you full permission to be selfish and focus on yourself alone.
4. Learn from your mistakes
After a breakup, it’s easy to look back on your past relationships with rose tinted glasses but this is the best time to keep a firm grip of the reality with regard to how things actually were so you can have a more grounded perspective.
Look at your previous relationships with a realistic point view and identify all the things that didn’t work out well. Critically examine those things you you had to put up with in the name of love and ask yourself if you’re still willing to swallow them in another relationship.
It can be helpful to write down all the pros and cons of your relationship in order to get some perspective. I believe there is an important lessonsto learn in every failure we encounter. Find the mistakes you made and learn from them so you will avoid them in your next relationship.
If you let down your standards in your previous relationships, make sure you establish them from the beginning of a new relationship. Don’t settle for less just because you want to be with someone. Demand respect from day one and don’t lower your standards for anyone.
5. Find new and exciting hobbies
The final step to get over a breakup is to find new and exciting hobbies to keep you busy so you won’t dwell on your ex all the time. During a breakup, it can be refreshing to make a positive change in your life by taking a trip to a new place, joining a gym and signing up for a sporting event, or getting a new apartment.
Speak of which, don’t take your memory-laden furniture with you if it brings back too many painful memories. You could store what you have and use a furniture hire company to provide a temporary stop-gap, while you allow yourself the time to heal.
Similarly, if you owned a home together and you want to sell the house, furniture hire can be a great way to present the property to potential buyers for a quick sale.
The most important step to getting over your ex is by changing your environmental circumstances so that you don’t stagnate and dwell on the breakup. Nobody likes a pity party and it can become strangely addictive to expect sympathy from people all the time. Don’t do that to yourself; now is the time to jump into action and make a change.
If you really want to get over a breakup and move on easily, you need to follow the 5 steps outlined in this post. They are going to help you get your life back and be a better version of yourself.
The most important advice I can give you is to refrain from clinging to your ex and begging him to love you again. You’re only going to make a fool of yourself and you’ll end up regretting your actions everytime you let yourself go down that road..
You’re the only one who has the key to your own hapiness; don’t give that key to someone else. Take control of your life, be a better person and be happy because you totally deserve the best. Your ex is your ex for a reason; let it be that way. The future is bright; believe it and look forward.