Getting over an ex is hard and healing from a broken heart is an excruciating experience that could take forever to complete especially if you’re still in love with the person.
If you’re currently experiencing a devastating heartbreak and you’re looking for how to get over a breakup fast, you’re not alone.
Maybe you’re asking “How do I get over a breakup so I can move on with my life?”
Many people go through a heartbreaking experience at least once in their lifetime.
I’ve been there before and I understand exactly how you feel right now.
It feels like your heart has been ripped right out of you and yet you can’t stop yourself from thinking about this person who hurt you so bad.
It’s like you’re no longer in control of your emotions; they are controlling you now.
Sadly, you’re still head over heels in love with him and you just wish you could squeeze out all the love you have for him and replace it with indifference.
It can be done but the healing process won’t happen overnight; you have to pass through the same stages of love before you can move on.
The truth is, a breakup has many stages and there is a common process that we all go through when a relationship ends.
But, this is a unique experience for you and unfortunately, at this moment, you will feel very alone in your struggle unless you work with an online therapist to deal with your pain.
According to relationship experts, people become unpredictable when going through a breakup due to the overwhelming emotions they have to deal with.
As a relationship coach, I’ve witnessed this multiple times when working with some of my clients.
Yet there are certain aspects that are predictable, such as how time is a healer, and a vast range of emotions – from loss and sadness to anger, hope, and even optimism.
It’s a rollercoaster ride, and many people live in a state of denial when trying to get over a breakup rather than fully facing the reality of their situation.
They are often desperate for a sense of ‘closure’ which is often withheld and they feel as if they are left dangling without direction.
It’s actually funny because the “dumper” is likely going through the exact same state of confusing emotions.
And probably wants to keep their options open with regard to being able to come back if they get too lonely or feel they have made a terrible mistake.
You have to do all you can to get off that rollercoaster ride and get your real life back.
You definitely deserve better than what you were served but it’s your choice to deal with it like a grown up or let it tear your life apart.
When my ex left me 5 years ago, I was absolutely devastated and I felt as if the walls around my heart were crumbling.
I spent a whole week crying and texting my ex hoping he would come back to me; it was a horrible time for me.
I was miserable for over two months then I realized he didn’t even deserve me and I decided to focus on getting my life back.
It was tough but I did it anyway and I’m proud of myself today. It’s not going to be an easy road for you but you have to do it for yourself and for your future.
The good news is, you’re not the first person this has ever happened to and you won’t be the last.
The loss of a relationship can be painful and even detrimental to your mental health so you need to take it one day at a time.
To help you pull through the hard time of living with a broken heart, I’m going to give you 5 simple tips on how to get over a breakup fast and move on easily.
5 STEPS TO GET OVER A BREAKUP FAST & MOVE ON EASILY
Research shows that when you’re going through a traumatic event like a broken relationship, your body automatically goes into the fight or flight mood.
This is the period when most people feel like they’re the worst version of themselves and it’s totally normal to think that you may never be your happy yourself again.
If you’re struggling with chronic depression after a breakup, the best way to get your life back and start over is to work with an online therapist.
For a lot of people, the end of a relationship can feel like the end of their world because of the influx of negative feelings and overwhelming emotions.
Going through a relationship breakup can make you feel sad, lonely and depressed for a long time. It may take a few months before you’ll be ready to enjoy your life again.
If you’re asking, “How do I move on after a breakup?”
These tips to get over a breakup fast will be a powerful guide to help you survive and thrive but you’ll also need to have the courage to take action when it’s needed.
1. Apply the “No Contact” rule
If you want to get over a breakup fast, the first thing you need to do is use the “no contact” rule.
It involves you breaking off all contact with your ex right away and no, you don’t have to inform him before you do it.
You have to decide on your own to stop communicating with your ex to allow you have a fresh start.
I’m talking going cold turkey!
This means you’re not allowed to call or text your ex for at least 90 days and you’re not supposed to entertain his calls or text messages.
Don’t stalk him or his best friends on social media and don’t ask his family members about him either.
I know it all sounds extreme but the “no contact rule” is the best way to get over a bad breakup because your ex can no longer have control over you.
In fact, he has no access to any part of your life without your permission.
So, what do you gain from this rule? The no contact rule helps you heal faster so you can move on easily after a painful breakup.
If you go against the rule and contact your ex, you have to start all over again until you’re successful.
If you successfully establish the “no contact” rule for three months and you realize you no longer have feelings for your ex, you can remain friends with him if you choose.
Don’t agree to stay friends with your ex immediately after your breakup; you still love him and friendship is not going to work out well for now.
The only time you can consider being friends with your ex is when you’ve purged out your feelings for him and you don’t miss him anymore when you’re apart.
This is exactly how to get over a breakup faster especially if you’re still hurting.
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2. Get rid of emotional triggers
The second step to getting over your ex is to get rid of all the reminders of your relationship.
You have to clear the clutter of memories left behind by your ex. Delete his photos from your phone and computer.
Get rid of the photo albums in your bedroom. Throw away his favorite nightshirt you loved to wear to sleep.
Give away all the romantic gifts he got for you. Delete the songs that remind you of him. Stop going to places you visited together.
If you really want to get over a breakup, you have to discard all the emotional triggers that remind you of the awesome things that happened during your relationship.
If you hold on to them, you will keep remembering your ex and you won’t be able to move on easily.
Instead, you need to walk away from this door, even if it’s just for a while.
You have to recondition your mind to associate pain with this person rather than love because, in reality, that is what you’re getting here.
You’re not getting the warm, soft, loving treatment you crave – you’re being abandoned, rejected and perhaps even treated without consideration.
You need to understand what’s behind the door you’re standing at; it only has pain and heartbreak to offer you.
Find a way to walk away so that you can knock on a different door where love can reach you.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should rush into another relationship straight away.
It simply means you need to refocus your energy and attention in more nourishing ways.
Remove all the things that trigger emotional memories of your ex and your relationship.
Don’t put them in a box hoping he’ll come back and you’ll continue from where you stopped.
Keeping reminders of your ex will only enslave you to him even when you don’t mean anything to him now.
I know it’s hard to let go of something we once cherished but there is no other way to get rid of your negative emotions.
Throw everything away and start afresh. That’s the only way you can move on with a clean slate.
If you’re finding it difficult to get over a traumatic breakup, talk to an online therapist so you can get the professional help you need to heal your emotional pain.
3. Focus on yourself
The third step to get over a breakup is for you to focus solely on yourself and start taking care of yourself.
Naturally, all you’re going to want is for your ex to come back and take care of you.
But now is the time to take back control of your life and start loving yourself rather than wishing someone else will come back and love you.
Start practicing self-love and self-care regularly. Go shopping for yourself. Get a furry pet if you don’t already have one.
Soak in a bubble bath with essential oils. Start a gratitude journal or mindfulness meditation practice. Get online therapy and counseling to keep your mental health stable.
Do that thing you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t get a chance to try.
Get a new hairstyle. Redecorate your entire house. Start planting a garden around your house. Get plenty of sleep.
Give yourself the nicest treat you can afford and live your life to the fullest!
The reality is that you are standing outside a door that once led to a feeling of warmth, love and tenderness.
You might still be standing there, you might even be knocking on that door hoping someone will answer but it’s been slammed shut in your face.
Although this feels dreadfully unfair and heart wrenching, the one thing you can’t allow yourself to do is to keep knocking on a door where love once lived.
You have to read the handwriting on the wall, let go of your past and try to regain your sense of self-worth.
You may often find yourself getting consumed by a breakup to the point where you lose interest in your daily life and become so wrapped up in the breakup situation.
You could even obsess about how to make things better, how to win back your ex, what he is currently doing and if he still misses you.
This is not a helpful way to focus your attention or use your energy and it can be a destructive slippery slope that leads people to a place where they lose themselves and hardly recover from.
Energy flows where attention goes, so rather than focusing on the relationship which has bad energy to it, lift your head up and focus on something that builds you up.
I give you full permission to be selfish and focus on yourself right now because you need a clean break at the moment.
Do yourself a favor and avoid sad movies that will make you even more depressed. You can actually use empowering songs to get over a breakup fast.
4. Learn from your mistakes
After a breakup, it’s easy to look back on your past relationship with rose tinted glasses.
Recovery time is good for reflecting on what you had and how you really felt when your relationship lasted.
This is the best time to keep a firm grip on the reality of how things actually were so you can have a more grounded perspective.
Look at your past relationship with a realistic point of view and identify all the things that didn’t work out well.
Critically examine those things you had to put up with in the name of love and ask yourself if you’re still willing to swallow them in another romantic relationship.
It can be helpful to write down all the pros and cons of your past relationship in order to get some real perspective.
I believe there is an important lesson to learn in every failure we encounter.
Find the mistakes you made and learn from them so you will avoid them in your next relationship.
If you let down your standards in your previous relationships, make sure you establish them from the onset of a new relationship.
Don’t settle for less just because you want to be with someone. Demand respect from day one and don’t lower your standards for anyone.
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5. Find new and exciting hobbies
The final step to get over a breakup is to find new and exciting hobbies to keep you busy so you won’t dwell on your ex all the time.
During a breakup, it can be refreshing to make a positive change in your life by taking a trip to a new place, joining a gym and signing up for a sporting event, or getting a new apartment.
Speaking of which, don’t take your memory-laden furniture with you if it brings back too many painful memories.
You could store what you have and use a furniture hire company to provide a temporary stop-gap, while you allow yourself the time to heal.
Similarly, if you owned a home together and you want to sell the house, hiring a realtor can be a great way to present the property to potential buyers for a quick sale.
The most important step to getting over your ex is to change your environment so you don’t stagnate and dwell on the breakup.
Nobody likes a pity party and it can become strangely addictive to expect sympathy from people all the time.
Don’t do that to yourself; now is the time to jump into action and make a positive change.
If you can’t afford to make any major lifestyle changes, try to go out more and meet new people.
You may be tempted to isolate yourself and moan your loss but crying over your ex every day will only make you depressed.
When you have supportive people to talk to and new activities to try, you won’t have a lot of time to think about your former partner.
So, feel free to explore the world and make some good friends who will add more fun to your daily life.
If you really want to get over a breakup and move on easily, you need to follow the 5 steps outlined in this post.
They are going to help you get your life back and be a better version of yourself after the end of a relationship.
The most important advice I can give you is to refrain from clinging to your ex and begging him to love you again.
You’re only going to make a fool of yourself and you’ll end up regretting your actions every time you let yourself go down that road.
You’re the only one who has the key to your own happiness; don’t give that power to someone else.
Take control of your life, be a better person and be happy because you totally deserve the best.
Your ex is your ex for a reason; let it be that way. Don’t keep looking at the past. It has nothing to offer!
The future is bright; just believe it and look forward to your next relationship with someone amazing.
But, there is a little warning here…
Don’t jump into a rebound relationship immediately after a breakup unless you’ve healed completely if not you’ll find it difficult to let go of the past.
When you experience immense emotional pain after a breakup, you are either hanging on to something or fighting something.
This creates a state of fear, panic and grief which keeps you from seeing what needs to be done and produces needless suffering.
Give yourself enough time to deal with the negative emotions and feelings of grief you’re experiencing.
Going through the recovery process will enable you to enjoy a healthy love life when you start a new relationship with someone else.
These tips on how to get over a breakup quickly are very effective if you apply them to your life. You’re stronger than you think and I know you can do this!
If you apply these breakup tips and you’re still struggling to move on with your life, sign up for online therapy to get the tools and support you need to bounce back.
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About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life. As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are important in building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.