Do you know some of the secrets of happy couples? We all daydream of having a healthy and happy relationship with the love of our life but not everyone is lucky to have that.
That’s because it takes more than just luck or love to make a relationship successful.
Happy couples don’t just fall from the sky; they put in the work to make their relationship happy and they refuse to give up on each other no matter how hard it gets.
How many of us have what it takes to make a relationship successful?
Most of us don’t have the patience and endurance it takes to make our relationship work. That’s why the rate of divorce is on the increase. The good news is you can have a happy relationship—without finding a new partner.
You only need to learn some powerful secrets of happy couples that make them stay together for the long haul. Achieving a happy relationship just takes developing the right habits and skills.
All it takes is some “secret” information and a desire to make your relationship work no matter how tough it gets.
Happy couples simply have different habits than unhappy couples. It’s these habits that make their relationship great.
Let’s look at 10 powerful secrets of happy couples— they are totally achievable!
10 POWERFUL SECRETS OF HAPPY COUPLES
1. Happy couples communicate and listen with an open mind
It’s all too easy to get into negative communication patterns and cycles. We start out as a happy couple, but then little annoyances turn into the silent treatment, hurtful talk, nasty comebacks, and it gets worse from there.
As time goes on, you might see criticism and defense, demanding communication and withdrawal, and outright fighting.
People start to feel like they’re not heard, that their partner doesn’t care, that the other person nags, or that the other person is always angry or passive-aggressive.
This is not a good foundation for a healthy relationship! So what do happy couples do differently? They talk things out immediately they come up; they don’t hold grudges for months; they have different communication styles that work.
Happy couples are more present when they’re communicating; they really listen to each other. They listen to understand, not to plan what next to say. Happy couples hear each other’s needs and take them seriously.
If you can listen with an open mind, you can hear your partner better and create a sense of being on the same team. That’s huge in relationships, and it can transform a relationship that’s going through a rough patch.
2. Happy couples support each other’s happiness
People in a happy relationship think about their partner’s happiness and show that by being thoughtful, celebrating each other’s success, and stepping up to do extra work when needed.
A happy relationship is a give and take partnership. Sometimes, one person gives 150% because the other is sick, hurt, or going through something.
And then things change, and the other person gives more. They both help the other because they love them and want them to be happy.
Happy couples don’t keep score—nothing is ever truly equal, but you can both do things and show love in different ways.
People in a happy relationship are truly happy for each other when they succeed. It’s not a competition, but a partnership.
You can tell a lot about a relationship if you watch how they react to good news from the other.
You can make a huge difference in your relationship by being enthusiastic and supportive about your partner’s personal or professional achievements.
3. Happy couples make time for romance and intimacy
Happy couples feel close to each other, and that comes from sharing many different things. Intimacy is one thing that can keep a couple close even when they both have busy lives.
Spending quality time together and having fun can inspire romance and a healthy intimate life.
Consider having a weekly date night or a monthly couples weekend with your spouse if you can. Healthy couples create time when they can focus on each other without distractions.
4. Happy couples don’t expect each other to change
One of the most powerful secrets of happy couples is that they don’t try to change each other.
This eliminates a lot of conflicts, arguments, nagging, and unsatisfied expectations. Of course, you’re wondering how you can overlook all those things that annoy you.
Focus on the good instead. Compliment your partner when he does something you like and talk politely about what you don’t like. Don’t expect your partner to change overnight; be patient with him and with time, he’ll adjust.
The thing is, whatever you look for, you will find. So if you’re annoyed and on the lookout for negative things, you’ll surely find them.
The same is true for good things. If you look for things to appreciate, you’ll start to see your partner in a more positive light.
If something truly bothers you, discuss it with your partner politely. But consider if it’s really a small issue that you’ve turned into something more, or if it’s a major issue that needs attention.
5. Happy couples reconcile after fights
Happy couples have healthy communication. So when something is wrong, they’re more likely to talk to each other about it. They’ll also try to stay connected even if the issue isn’t completely resolved.
But that’s a big point: happy couples talk about real issues and work on them. The opposite is to let things fester, or be unwilling to talk about problems until they grow out of hand.
When one person ignores issues and tries to act like everything is fine, even when the other person wants to work on it, it doesn’t help the relationship grow.
Happy couples repair the relationship by apologizing, reaching out, using an affectionate tone of voice, making positive comments, suggesting a fun activity together, and trying to show that they understand.
Happy couples see fights and arguments as temporary things, and they fix them amicably and move on.
6. Happy couples have a sense of partnership
Many people see happy couples and feel a sense of jealousy. It’s often the closeness that they want and a sense of partnership.
In unhealthy relationships, one or both people don’t consider how their decisions affect their partner. They make big decisions without consulting their partner first.
People in happy relationships make decisions together, and both of them think about the relationship, the other’s feelings, and their shared goals.
Another aspect of a sense of partnership is cultivating common interests. Happy couples will find things they can do together along with encouraging each other with their own interests.
7. Happy couples go to bed at the same time
In a new relationship, couples spend their evenings together and usually go to bed together…excited for some time alone. Happy couples keep up that routine as much as possible.
Going to bed together gives you time to talk, cuddle, and create a healthy intimate life. One person doesn’t leave the other person working downstairs while he sleeps upstairs.
Most nights when I’m awake writing blog posts, my boyfriend stays up with me until I’m done so we can go to bed together. This has really helped our relationship grow because we often talk, make love and cuddle before sleeping.
If you want to have a happy relationship, try going to bed at the same time with your partner; you’ll notice a positive difference in your relationship.
8. Happy couples walk side by side or holding hands
This doesn’t sound like a big deal, or something you’d even notice…until you see a couple that walks separately, one walking ahead of the other.
Happy couples make a point of walking together, talking, and touching. This creates a powerful bond between them.
9. Happy couples say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every day
We face tension and conflict on some days, so it’s nice to start the day by connecting and feeling close to our partner. Some couples might think they don’t need to say “I love you” but that can indicate an unresolved issue.
Even skipping pleasantries like “Have a good day” can mean there are some underlying issues, or at least that the couple isn’t showing thoughtfulness and care to each other.
Those little things matter and they make a big difference in the happiness of both people.
10. Happy couples check in with each other during the day
It feels nice when someone asks how you’re doing or how your day is going. It’s really nice when your partner checks in with you, even if it just lets you know they’re thinking about you. It has other benefits, too.
Besides creating warmth and closeness, you can really know how the other persn is doing and even help him reduce some stress he may be experiencing.
That way, you have an idea of how things are going before seeing each other in the evening.
If your partner is having a super rough day, you’ll know ahead of time. You can surprise him with a gift, cook dinner, or set aside some quiet time for him.
You won’t greet him expecting him to be in a great mood and ready to listen to you about your day. So it really pays off to check in with each other.
Happy couples create habits that keep them in sync so both people can feel like their opinions and needs matter, and that they can depend on the other person.
It’s not that hard to develop habits like these, and they will significantly improve your relationship if you can start to implement them right away.
Try out a few of these powerful secrets of happy couples and see how your relationship will improve in a few weeks. You’ll agree the effort won’t seem like work when you find yourself smiling as you go home to see your partner!