Being in a healthy and happy relationship is every person’s goal but not everyone knows how to get there.
Many people rush into a romantic relationship or stay in an unhealthy relationship just because they are afraid of being alone.
The fastest way to a failed relationship is to end up with the wrong person.
When two people are incompatible, it would be nearly impossible to build a successful relationship together.
It’s important to do your homework and make sure that you’re compatible with your partner in some areas before getting into a serious relationship.
Compatibility in a relationship can help to prevent heated arguments and unresolved conflicts because there is a high level of understanding from both partners.
Even if you’re not totally compatible with your partner, you can still build a loving relationship if you’re both willing to make it work.
Whether you’re already in a committed relationship or you’re looking for true love, I’m going to give you some tips on how to have a happy relationship.
HOW TO BE IN A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP
A lot of couples feel that when you’re in a happy relationship you won’t have to go through a hard time or face any challenges but that’s not true.
Every relationship has their own unique problems that they struggle with.
From work stress to financial worries and intimacy problems, many couples have a lot to deal with on a daily basis.
There is no happily ever after in the real world; it only happens in the movies.
A recent study conducted by eHarmony revealed that about 19% of people are unhappy in their current relationship.
If you’re in an unhappy relationship, you’re not alone! Even the most happy couples have bad days when they feel like tearing each other apart.
A huge difference between a happy relationship and an unhealthy relationship is that the good times are more than the bad times.
According to Author Mandy Hale, “A healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down. It inspires you to be a better person.”
When you’re in a good relationship, there may be a few hiccups down the road along with some beautiful memories but you won’t notice any major red flags or warning signs.
If you’re battling with mental health issues or experiencing a lot of stress from your partner, that’s a sure sign that you may be in an abusive relationship.
Consult a relationship coach or seek the help of a mental health professional if you feel that your life is in danger.
Don’t try to handle the situation yourself because things can get out of hand really fast.
If your relationship is healthy and you’re just looking for some advice on how to build a better relationship with your partner, you’re in the right place.
Here are 13 tips on how to be in a happy relationship:
1. Love yourself unconditionally
So many people get into romantic relationships with the idea that their partner is going to make them super happy and fulfilled.
This is a recipe for disaster and it brings about insecurity in a relationship.
If you want to be happy in a relationship, you need to realize that your partner is not your family therapist or life coach.
They probably have a lot of issues that they are dealing with and they won’t have the time to throw a pity party for you every single time something bad happens.
Your job is to take care of yourself and love yourself more than your partner loves you.
If you don’t get comfortable in your own skin and learn to love the person you’re becoming, it’s going to be super hard for your partner to love you.
The first step to loving yourself is to quit complaining about your flaws and whining about your insecurities.
Learn to be confident in your abilities and stop listening to negative people who try to pull you down. It doesn’t matter if you’re not as pretty or tall as a model.
Your partner chose you because they love you so don’t fixate on the negative aspects and don’t be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes.
We are all imperfect people with flaws and weaknesses so the best way to build a happy relationship with someone is to accept yourself just the way you are.
If you don’t do that, no one else is going to love you the right way.
So cut off toxic people, shower yourself with unconditional love and surround yourself with positive vibes all the time.
When you’re a happy person, you’ll be in a better position to have a healthy love life.
2. Create your own happiness
Relationship experts advise people to make themselves happy instead of waiting for a romantic partner to do it for them.
While this is great advice, you may be wondering what it really means to be happy and how you can get to that level of happiness.
The real question you should be asking is, “What makes a person happy in a relationship?”
The real sources of happiness are good friends, a job or business that you love, a spiritual practice that uplifts you and a family where there is unconditional love.
Do you have any of these structures in your life? If you don’t, you’re going to have to figure out a way to create your own happiness.
The best way to find out how to be happy with yourself in a relationship is to ask yourself the right questions.
When was the last time you were truly happy?
What lights up your soul? What do you want out of life?
What’s your favorite way of spending your leisure time?
If you had all the money in the world, what would you do for a living?
If you can answer these questions truthfully, your path to true happiness will unfold right in front of you.
You need to understand that your happiness relies on no one else but yourself.
You are the captain of your ship and you are in charge of creating your own happy world.
Don’t search for happiness in your partner. Don’t wait for anyone to tell you how to be happy.
Look deep within you, create a new hobby that you enjoy and immerse yourself in experiences that make you feel good.
Remember to practice regular self care and pamper yourself every chance you get because you deserve it.
3. Make your partner feel loved and appreciated
The major causes of infidelity in a romantic relationship are lack of affection, poor communication and unmet expectations.
Research shows that people who don’t feel loved, wanted or appreciated are more likely to cheat than those who are content in their relationship.
A simple way to make your partner feel loved is to use their love languages regularly and appreciate them for the little things they do in your relationship.
It’s so easy to focus on all the things going wrong that you forget to notice the positive affects of your relationship.
The most important things in a relationship are the small things that we do for each other when no one’s watching.
When was the last time you went out of your way to show genuine affection and appreciation for your partner?
If you want to become an awesome partner, you need to be empathetic, caring and loving towards your significant other even when you’re going through a difficult situation in life.
This doesn’t mean that you have to pretend to be happy or deny yourself of what you need.
The key is to balance your relationship needs with that of your partner’s so that everyone can be happy and fulfilled.
Healthy couples give 100% of themselves to each other and that’s why they have successful relationships.
If one person is receiving more than they are giving, there is going to be an imbalance in that relationship which can lead to resentment in the long run.
The bottom line is, if you want to build a good relationship with your partner, learn their love languages and use it frequently. Don’t forget to let them know what you need too!
4. Encourage open and honest communication
Lack of communication leads to wrong assumptions and unrealistic expectations in a relationship.
When couples don’t communicate with each other effectively, it’s going to be difficult to find some common ground where everyone’s needs are met.
An unhappy relationship begins when one partner stops listening to the other person and understanding their needs.
Good communication means being open, honest and patient with each other.
When you open the lines of communication, you will enjoy the closeness and intimacy that comes with openness and truthfulness.
Create a healthy environment for honest communication where your significant other can talk to you without fear of judgment, criticism or rejection.
Encourage your partner to open up to you and discuss everything bothering them with you.
If you always criticize, attack or blame your partner for their mistakes, they’ll gradually withdraw from you emotionally and once they do, it would be hard to regain their trust.
The secret to building a great relationship with your partner is to encourage open communication.
If you want to improve your communication skills, you need to be a good listener and an understanding partner.
Talk to your partner like you would a best friend. Listen to them attentively, validate their feelings and show that you truly care.
5. Have fun together on a daily basis
Everyday life can take a toll on intimate relationships and if you’re not intentional about staying connected, you’ll slowly grow apart.
The mistakes most couples make is that they wait until things get better before they start having fun.
It doesn’t have to be that way; you can still engage in fun couple activities no matter how hard it is.
If money is hindering you from going on a weekly date night, create a bucket list of fun things couples can do together at home without breaking the bank.
There are a lot of bonding activities couples can engage in to reconnect emotionally and keep the love alive.
Most at home date ideas like breakfast in bed, movie marathon night, couples spa day and candlelight dinner are simple and budget-friendly.
So, you can still have fun as a couple without spending much money. Stop being so serious about life and learn to let go from time to time.
Focus on connecting deeply with your partner and enjoying all the pleasurable experiences that are available to you.
A relationship is meant to be fun and mutually satisfying. Sometimes, it’s okay to take a step back from adulting and just have fun with your partner.
If you’re an outdoorsy type, make out time to go camping, hiking or mountain climbing to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
6. Give your partner space and freedom
While it’s important to spend quality time together as a couple, being around your significant other all the time is going to feel overwhelming in the long run.
Love cannot live under domination and being clingy or needy is not healthy for any relationship. If you love someone, set them free.
If they come back to you, you’re meant to be together. It’s okay for couples to have some alone time where they can relax and unwind without distractions.
But, spending time apart as individuals is necessary for your emotional well-being.
The key to maintaining a healthy relationship is to have a balance where both partners can pursue their personal goals and enjoy their independence.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t have to care about the whereabouts of your partner or stay connected with them but you need to promote freedom and individuality in your relationship.
Your partner cannot be tied to your hip all day so don’t expect them to. Too much closeness in a relationship can end up being the main reason why your partner wants to pull away from you.
Give them the space they need to be themselves and do the things they really want to do without feeling trapped.
Healthy couples have common interests that they share but they also have personal hobbies they enjoy doing alone.
Even if you and your partner have common goals that you’re working on, it’s important to create time for your personal interests.
Whenever your partner needs to be alone, give them the space they need to sort out their feelings and figure out their next steps.
The need for freedom doesn’t mean they don’t love you anymore; it’s an important part of living a happy life.
7. Don’t be a people pleaser
If you feel unhappy in your relationship, it’s probably because you’re always going out of your way to please people.
The best way to stop being a people pleaser is to be your authentic self. There is no need to discomfort yourself to please anyone if it’s detrimental to your well-being.
The truth is, no matter what you do, people will always find something bad to say and you can’t satisfy everybody.
The key to being happy in life is to stop worrying about what other people think of you. Their opinions don’t matter because it’s your life and you’re in control.
Don’t give away your power and let people control your emotions. Stop looking for validation from others.
Be your own cheerleader and be confident in your abilities and the choices you make.
Even though it’s okay to seek advice from other people, it’s not wise to do everything they say because no one knows it all.
Sometimes, it’s good to follow your heart and listen to your instincts.
You will make mistakes when you do things on your own but you’ll also learn hard lessons that can pave a way for a more successful life.
Your partner doesn’t get to have the final say in your life; you have to be an active participant in the decision making process too.
If you want to be happy in a relationship, listen to your inner voice and do what is right for you even if others disagree.
8. Do one thing you love every day
If you’re not happy as an individual, you won’t magically become happy when you get into a relationship.
A miserable person is going to remain miserable even when they have an amazing partner.
This is why some people are lonely when surrounded by close friends and family.
The secret to happiness and fulfilment in life is to find a few hobbies you enjoy and do at least one every day.
Instead of waiting on your partner to tell you what to do or how to do things, preoccupy yourself with fun activities that increase your level of happiness.
What do you do for fun or relaxation? If you love reading, singing, writing, drawing or watching videos, find a way to incorporate them into your daily routine.
Doing the things you love regularly can help to raise your vibration and keep you happy throughout the day.
And when you’re truly happy as a person, you’ll be able to transfer that love into your relationship in a positive way.
9. Create time to connect with your partner emotionally
Physical touch is important in an intimate relationship because it helps to increase the bond and emotional connection that couples share.
In your busy day to day life, remember to create time to reconnect with your partner.
If you have the habit of snubbing your significant other to play on your phone all the time, work on getting better at establishing connection in your relationship.
Little things like a kiss on the forehead, a hug from behind and a back rub can be all your partner needs to get through a hard time.
The reason why couples drift apart is because they’re not intentional about staying connected to each other.
When you neglect your love life, it’s definitely going to go down south because you’re no longer making deposits into your emotional bank account.
According to relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman, “When you turn toward your partner’s bids for connection, you are making a deposit in your partner’s emotional bank account, and when you turn away from your partner, you make a withdrawal.”
If you keep making withdrawals without deposits, you’ll end up with a zero or negative balance after a long period of time.
To avoid emotional disconnection in your relationship, it’s important to prioritize romance and intimacy as a couple.
Try new things in the bedroom, focus on having a healthy love life and work on improving your emotional intimacy regularly.
10. Don’t be tempted to compare your relationship
With the invention of social media, the desire to put up appearances and impress others is really strong.
A lot of couples are caught up in the endless cycle of faking it till you make it instead of focusing on their relationship and making it healthier.
When you allow yourself to be carried away by the fake personalities of some celebrity couples, you’re inviting some big relationship problems into your life.
If you’re someone who is active on social media or competitive by nature, resist the temptation to compare your relationship with others.
This is the most important advice I can give you on how to be happy in a relationship.
No matter how it looks from the outside, every couple has their own challenges and no one has it all in life.
There is always going to be someone who will be more beautiful, smarter or richer than you, so don’t push yourself too hard because you want to measure up.
Be happy with your growth, unique talents and personal achievements but don’t stop putting in the effort.
Life is not a destination but a journey so enjoy it while it lasts, be grateful for what you have and give yourself permission to do you every day.
11. Forget about changing your partner
The number one reason why couples fight is because one partner wants to change the other person and they keep fighting about what is right or wrong.
When you’re in a long-term relationship, you have to be okay with the fact that your significant other cannot have all the personality traits you want in a life partner.
No one is perfect; we all have some imperfections that are not our greatest strengths. That’s just the reality of life!
There is always going to be that one thing you dislike about your partner but other good qualities they have should be enough to compensate for the unpleasant ones.
If your goal is to have a healthy, happy relationship, forget about changing your partner and learn to accept them for who they are.
When you fully accept your partner with all their flaws and imperfections, you’ll find it easier to get along with each other.
Don’t make that mistake of expecting your partner to change their personality because they probably won’t especially if they’ve always being that way.
You’re going to give yourself a high blood pressure eventually if you keep nagging that they change just to please you.
For the sake of your mental health and sanity, focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and accept that life is not perfect.
As long as your life is not in danger and you’re not dealing with domestic violence, your relationship is in a good place.
If you want to stay together for the long haul, keep working on improving your love life to make it long-lasting.
12. Promote equality in your relationship
Equality in a relationship is an important factor in achieving real happiness.
Research shows that couples who consider themselves to be equal are more likely to attain a high level of happiness than other couples who operate in a different way.
This means that if you want to have a happy relationship, both partners need to be actively involved in doing household chores, paying the bills and making major decisions together.
When you’re in a one-sided relationship, you invest too much of your time, energy and love without getting the same amount back.
This inequality can lead to unhappiness and resentment in the long run.
But, if two partners give 100% of their love to each other and stay committed to making their relationship work, they’ll enjoy a happy relationship in the long run.
The best way to promote equality in a relationship is to be fair and just in everything you do.
Communicate your needs to your partner, be specific in your conversations and encourage your partner to be more open with you.
13. Be willing to compromise from time to time
Unhappy couples have unresolved conflicts that linger for a long time because everyone is insisting on being right and having things done their own way.
When you’re in a romantic relationship, you need to see your partner as a friend and teammate not an enemy or opponent.
Anything you do affects your partner directly or indirectly so it’s important that you put them into consideration before taking any action.
True friendship is what can keep your relationship going during tough times.
If you’re battling with relationship problems, have an honest conversation with your significant other about what’s working and what’s not so you can find the perfect solution together.
Be the first to compromise when having a disagreement with your partner but don’t overdo it so they don’t take advantage of your kindness.
It’s important to know when to stand your ground in a fight and when to give way for your partner if you want to build a healthy relationship.
A strong relationship is built on mutual trust, honest communication and genuine empathy.
The happiest couples on Earth are the ones who are kind, loving, supportive, and forgiving towards each other.
Building a healthy relationship is hard work and if you don’t have the right skills, you’re going to end up in a cycle of constant arguments that never lead to anywhere.
Luckily, I’ve just shared with you some of the best tips on how to build a good relationship with your partner.
Are you ready to enjoy a happy life? Start applying these relationship tips right away.
If you’re looking for advice on how to be happy in a relationship that you are not happy in, this blog post can steer you in the right direction.
When you apply the tips outlined in this article, be patient for the change to come.
A happy relationship doesn’t happen overnight; it takes years of working to improve your communication and intimacy.
But, if you’ve done all you can to make your relationship work and you’re still looking for advice on how to fix an unhappy relationship, you would achieve better results if you work with a certified relationship coach.
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.
As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.