Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is one of the most painful experiences you’ll ever have to go through in life.
Apart from having good health and a steady source of income, being loved is another fundamental need most humans have.
And when you can’t fulfill that need, you may feel sad, empty, and lost.
The good news is that time heals and if someone doesn’t love you back, you can move on with grace.
The best way to get over someone you love is to disconnect from them emotionally and focus on yourself.
This means accepting that you can’t force love and that the right person for you will come in due time.
In this article, I share some valuable tips on how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you.
HOW TO STOP LOVING SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T LOVE YOU
When your heart aches for love and you don’t receive it from the person you deeply care about, it can crush your soul leaving you depressed for a long time.
If you’re struggling to deal with unrequited love, here is how to get over someone you love:
1. Mourn the loss of the love you never received
When you realize that someone you love doesn’t love you back, you’ll feel a deep sadness in your heart.
This is normal for most people but you don’t have to dwell in that sad place for too long if not you’ll fall into chronic depression.
To stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back, you need to process the grief and pain of never having the reciprocal love you needed and deserved.
Set aside some time to allow the feelings of sadness in your heart to wash through you then rise up and dust your feet.
As you grieve, you may choose to cry, scream, or hit something to help you eliminate the negative emotions faster.
Once you’re done with the grieving process, you’ll feel lighter to move on to the next step in your healing journey.
2. Accept that you can’t control other people’s behavior toward you
The first step to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you in return is to acknowledge the fact that you can’t control how people react.
Life is an individual race and love is a choice.
Everyone is free to choose what they want and you may try to influence a person’s decision, but you can’t force them to behave the way you want.
If you can accept this simple truth, you’ll have inner peace and can begin your healing journey with ease.
Moreover, it’s better if someone shows you they don’t love you instead of finding out later that they’ve been pretending to love you.
3. Make up your mind to move on from them
Another important thing you need to do if you’re trying to get over someone you love is to make up your mind to let them go.
When you decide to move on from a painful situation that’s hurting you, you’ll discover that you’ll get the inner strength you need to push forward.
So make a firm decision today to not seek love or validation from someone else because everything you need to thrive is within you.
If you’re still holding on to something that no longer serves you, you’ll constantly find yourself in a confused state and will be unable to move on.
To help you reinforce your decision, you can repeat these words to yourself on a regular basis, “I don’t need to keep chasing someone who doesn’t love me back. It’s time to let go now”.
4. Stop giving them your attention
Once you’ve made up your mind to move on and heal your broken heart, the next thing to do is to stop giving them any kind of attention.
This is because some people will deliberately hurt you by constantly seeking your attention and being friendly when they know you’re in love with them.
They’ll choose to play with your feelings and string you along instead of giving you the love you deserve.
The best way to get over someone you love is to detach from them emotionally and not think about them all the time.
Don’t concern yourself with what they do, think, or say. Focus on getting through the healing phase so you can have the courage to move on with your life.
It may be tempting to call them, send them heart-melting text messages, or hang around them often with the hope that they’ll love you back but this is never going to happen.
The earlier you realize that there is no chance for you in their life, the easier it will be to get rid of your feelings for them.
5. Cut off all contact with the person if you can
If you realize that it’s difficult for you to stop loving someone because they are always in your life, consider distancing yourself from them for a while.
Sometimes it can be hard to get over someone you love if you’re still engaging with them frequently.
Try to minimize contact with the person you’re trying to move away from so you can have enough space to focus on getting your life back on track.
When you’re no longer in contact with someone, you’ll forget them gradually and notice that your feelings for them will reduce tremendously.
6. Focus on improving yourself
Now that you’re not in constant contact with the person you love, it’s a good idea to use this period to focus on yourself.
During this time apart, find healthy ways to improve your life and set future goals in motion.
For example, you can redecorate your home, get a wardrobe makeover, learn a new skill, or engage in soothing hobbies like gardening.
You can also start an online business, volunteer at a shelter regularly, or spend quality time getting to know yourself more.
Instead of wasting time chasing after someone for love, use your energy productively and you’ll be in a much better place.
7. Practice self-compassion regularly
Feeling rejected by someone you love can wreak havoc on your mental health and emotional well-being.
It can make you doubt yourself and create feelings of inadequacy even when you’re perfect just the way you are.
In a bid to understand why the other person didn’t love you back, you may engage in negative self-talk and feel insecure or worthless.
It’s crucial that you practice self-compassion when you’re going through hard times.
You need to become your own best friend and cheerleader if you want to come out of this phase stronger.
Watch your words closely and stop any negative thoughts that try to steal your joy.
You’re not a failure simply because someone didn’t realize your worth and reciprocate your love.
They’re at a disadvantage because they lost a good person who would have loved them wholeheartedly.
So be kind to yourself and don’t allow any negative thoughts to take control of you.
8. Keep yourself busy with meaningful activities
Another way to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back is to immerse yourself in rewarding activities that make you feel good.
When you’re busy having fun, you won’t have the time to remember an unrequited love and you’ll find yourself again.
So instead of sinking into self-pity and depression, look for meaningful things to do with your spare time.
You may choose to read some good books, travel to a new location, or watch educational videos on YouTube.
You can also take yourself out on lunch dates, go to the Cinema to see new movies, or have a solo picnic in a quiet park during weekends.
Keeping yourself busy can help you forget your sorrows and launch you into the most productive time of your life.
9. Use daily self-love affirmations to fortify your mind
As you try to get over someone who doesn’t love you, it’s natural to think that you are unlovable or damaged in some way but that’s untrue.
And the only way to regain your self-worth and keep your sanity intact is to recite positive self-love affirmations on a daily basis.
If you’re struggling to replace your intrusive thoughts with something more positive, here are some examples of inspiring affirmations you can use:
• I am worthy of love and affection
• I deserve to love and be loved
• I deserve to put myself first
• I am important in this world
• I am good enough
• I am totally lovable
• I deserve to take care of myself
• I deserve to be happy
• Good things always happen to me
• My true love is finding me now
Use these powerful affirmations anytime you struggle to believe in yourself or are experiencing symptoms of low self-esteem.
10. Stay strong and don’t give up
Getting over someone you love isn’t easy, especially if you’re constantly around them. You may stumble and fall until you get to the finish line.
Some days might be harder than others but if you stay strong and keep putting in the effort, you’ll come out stronger and wiser.
When it seems like you can’t go on anymore, hang in there and find positive ways to uplift your spirit.
It may be tempting to isolate yourself and soak your pillow with tears every night during this difficult time but you’ll only end up feeling lonely.
So use this period to focus on yourself and engage in meaningful activities that soothe your mind, body, and soul.
When someone rejects your love or refuses to love you the way you want, it can be heartbreaking and soul-wrenching at the same time.
But instead of crying over lost love and hoping for a miracle to happen, accept the fact that you can’t control another person’s behavior toward you.
Once you acknowledge this and make a firm decision to move on, you can begin your healing journey with peace.
The most important thing you can do to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you is to mourn the loss of the love you never received and minimize contact with them.
Then put all your attention on yourself and look for positive ways to improve your life.
When you detach emotionally from someone and redirect the energy to yourself, you’ll move on quickly.
Finally, the key to getting over someone who refuses to love you back is to love yourself wholeheartedly and create your own world of happiness.
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life. As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are important in building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.