How can you tell if a man truly loves you or if he’s just pretending to be in love with you?
If you’ve been with a particular guy for a long time, it’s normal for thoughts like these to pop up in your head once in a while, especially when you don’t know his true feelings.
What if he wakes up one day and tells you that he has never loved you?
What if you overhear him talking to his close friend about how you’re just booty-call material?
It’s going to hurt really bad to know that a guy has been pretending to love you all along.
Before that happens though, we’re going to explore some of the obvious signs that show up when a guy is not deeply in love with a woman.
15 CRYSTAL CLEAR SIGNS HE PRETENDS TO LOVE YOU
Men are good at faking their love when they want something from you. So how do you know if he’s lying about loving you?
Here are 15 crystal clear signs he pretends to love you:
1. He agrees with you on everything
One of the first signs he pretends to love you is that he’ll agree with you on everything.
Men do this when they don’t want to commit to a serious relationship.
If you think your boyfriend is a nice guy who doesn’t argue with you, you may be jumping to conclusions.
A man who loves you will be fully invested in building a strong relationship with you.
This means he’ll open up about his feelings and freely share his opinions on things even if they are different from yours.
He won’t be afraid to disagree with you because you’re equal partners in the relationship.
2. He avoids fighting with you
You may think this is a good sign that he’s in love with you, but it’s not.
Most couples in a committed relationship tend to fight a lot, especially in the early stages.
This doesn’t mean that they have poor communication skills or that they’re incompatible.
According to relationship coaches, couples who fight often tend to be more in love with each other.
If he’s not fighting with you or disagreeing with some of your choices, there is a good chance he’s pretending to love you.
3. He never makes any future plans with you
An important sign you need to watch out for in a fake relationship is the absence of future plans that involve you.
In a healthy romantic relationship, couples often talk about their life goals and any plans they have for the future.
For example, if one partner is relocating for a new job or going to college in another city, it would be up for discussion so they can figure out how to make their relationship work.
If there is no talk of the future in your relationship, your boyfriend may not have any long-term plans that include you.
4. His body language is different when you’re together in public
A sure-fire way to know if he’s pretending to love you is to watch how he behaves in front of other people especially if you’re together.
Does he feel the need to perform in front of his friends or show off his love life on social media? Too much PDA means he’s looking for validation from others.
When you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right, trust your instincts!
A guy who loves you will act normal and be affectionate whether someone is watching or not.
If your boyfriend shows you too much affection in public or none at all, that’s a big red flag.
5. He doesn’t ask you personal questions about your life
The best way for new couples to know each other better is to ask relevant questions regularly.
Lack of communication can stagnate the growth of a romantic relationship.
If your partner is not asking you deep questions about your life, there is a high chance he’s pretending to love you and doesn’t care about getting to know you more.
When a man shows a lack of interest in your life, he’s letting you know that you’re not important to him.
6. He forgets little details about you
Unless he has been diagnosed with amnesia, ADHD, or a mental illness that affects his memory, a guy who loves you will make it his priority to remember every little detail about you.
For example, he’ll remember that you never take coffee with milk or that you’re allergic to cats.
If you have to remind your boyfriend all the time about your favorite things or other important details about you, that’s a bad sign.
When a guy truly loves you, he’ll take note of everything you like or dislike even if you don’t tell him directly.
7. He doesn’t make much effort to show you love
Are you the one who always makes the first move to show love?
When a guy doesn’t have the initiative to make you feel special and you have to cover up for him by buying yourself gifts or setting up romantic dates for two, it’s obvious he’s just using you.
A man who loves you will go out of his way to impress you because he cares about your happiness.
If your boyfriend is not buying you gifts, taking you out, or telling you sweet words to make you feel loved, this is a clear sign he’s pretending to love you.
HOW TO MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
8. He avoids spending money on you
One of the most common signs of fake love from a man is when he avoids spending money on you.
This is more evident in relationships where the woman earns more money or comes from a wealthy family.
Even if a man doesn’t make much money, he’ll still want to provide for his woman to the best of his ability.
He may not buy expensive gifts for you or throw you lavish parties on your birthday, but he’ll pay the bills when you go on dates and he’ll spend money on you when it’s necessary.
9. You never go out on real dates
When a man is in love, he’ll want to take you out on a regular basis and have fun with you.
He makes all this effort because he wants to spend more time with you so he can know you better.
If a man never takes you out on real dates aside from walks in the park and getting ice cream, this is not a good sign.
Avoiding spending money on you and refusing to take you on real dates are major signs he is forcing himself to love you.
These are tactics guys use to keep you in their life even if they’re not interested in building a long-term relationship with you.
10. He hides you from his friends and family
When men are in love, they want to let their loved ones know about their new girlfriend who is the best thing in their life at the moment.
Even if your boyfriend is usually secretive or he’s not ready for marriage, he needs to introduce you to his best friends and at least one family member he’s close to.
If he wants a secret relationship with you and he’s telling you to keep your relationship private when he’s not in the Mafia, this is a major red flag.
There is a high chance he has another girlfriend and he’s pretending to love you.
11. He treats you like a second choice
Do you constantly feel ignored, neglected, or abandoned by your boyfriend?
You’re supposed to feel respected, valued, and appreciated by a man if you’re in a good relationship.
When a man doesn’t love you, he won’t make you his priority and he’ll find it hard to compromise or make sacrifices for you.
For instance, when you’re stranded in the middle of nowhere, he’ll ask you to take a cab instead of offering to pick you up even if he’s less busy.
If your partner repeatedly chooses his friends or video games over you, you’re not his number one priority.
12. He doesn’t celebrate with you on special occasions
In loving relationships, couples often have special moments and important dates they celebrate together.
This is a way for them to announce their love or renew their commitment to each other.
If your romantic partner doesn’t celebrate with you on special occasions, this is a subtle sign that you’re in a loveless relationship.
When a man loves you, he’ll be excited to do something nice for you no matter how little because he wants to make you happy.
13. He’s not supportive during difficult times
Real love is not conditional. One of the biggest signs a man loves you is that he’ll stick with you through thick and thin.
He won’t only be available during the good times but he’ll stay with you even when things are difficult.
When you’re sick, a loving partner will run errands for you, make you feel comfortable, and check up on you regularly if you live apart.
If your boyfriend seems to disappear when you need a shoulder to lean on, this is one of the telltale signs he never loved you.
14. He only gives you attention when he wants to sleep with you
You may feel flattered when a guy can’t keep his hands off you but this isn’t a good indicator of true love.
A healthy intimate life is important in any loving relationship and it’s good to have a man who wants you badly in bed.
However, your relationship shouldn’t be centered on physical intimacy alone.
One of the obvious signs he is using you is that he’ll suddenly turn romantic every time he wants to sleep with you.
A man who loves you will show you affection regularly not just when he’s in the mood for lovemaking.
15. He spends too much time with his friends
Every couple needs to have platonic relationships with other people. This helps to keep a romantic relationship exciting and fun.
But moderation is required so you don’t prioritize other people over your romantic partner.
And the best way to connect with your partner on a deep level is to spend quality time together.
If your boyfriend keeps hanging out with his friends all the time instead of spending quality time with you, this is not a good sign.
WHY WOULD SOMEONE PRETEND TO LOVE YOU?
A lot of people pretend to love someone when they have something they want. A man can enter into a relationship for his own interests and selfish reasons.
For example, if you come from a wealthy family or you have an attractive body, a man can force himself to love you because he hopes to gain much value from being with you.
This is a common reason why a lot of guys develop fake relationships with women.
HOW DO YOU TELL IF A MAN IS USING YOU FOR CONVENIENCE?
It’s easy to tell when a man doesn’t love you because he’ll show it in his actions and body language.
Some of the obvious signs he’s using you for convenience include:
• Hiding the relationship from his loved ones
• Being affectionate only when he wants something from you
• Avoiding spending money on you at all costs
• Disappearing when you need him the most.
If your boyfriend shows you affection only when he needs a favor from you, it’s obvious he’s using you for money, fun, or convenience.
HOW LONG CAN YOU FAKE LOVE?
The amount of time someone can fake love depends on their personality, secret motives, and when they get caught.
Some guys can pretend to love a woman for many years as long as their needs are being met.
When they stop receiving benefits from the relationship, they may break up with their partner and find someone else to play with.
WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE PRETENDS TO LOVE YOU?
If you’ve noticed some obvious signs his love is not real and you’re confused about how to deal with fake love from a guy, you’re not alone!
It can be heartbreaking to discover that your partner is pretending to love you.
However, there is always something you can do to improve your relationship.
The first thing to do when someone pretends to love you is to let them know that you’re hurt about their behavior and ask them to mend their ways.
If your partner admits that they never loved you but they’re willing to try and make things work, give them another chance.
It’s also a good idea to end the relationship if you don’t trust them anymore or they’re unwilling to change.
I’ve given you 15 sure signs he pretends to love you; if you see at least seven red flags in your love life, your partner is forcing himself to love you.
A healthy relationship is where both partners invest their time, money, and energy to make it work.
If you feel as if your boyfriend is not committed to building a successful relationship with you, talk to him about it.
Recommended Reading:
20 True Signs He Loves You Deeply
17 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You
14 Crystal Clear Signs He’s Just Not That Into You
True Love vs Fake Love: What’s the difference?
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.
As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.