8 Tips On How To Stop Missing Your Ex

how to stop missing your ex

It’s happened to all of us. You were in a relationship that seemed perfect until one day it wasn’t.

Now you find yourself constantly thinking about your ex, wondering what went wrong and wishing things could go back to the way they were.

The constant thoughts and regrets can make it hard to move on with your life. But there are ways to stop missing your ex so much.

In this article, we’ll walk through techniques to help you stop dwelling on the past and start looking forward.

We’ll talk about focusing on you, filling your schedule with meaningful activities, allowing yourself to grieve the loss, and even seeking professional help if needed.

With some effort and patience, you can move past the heartache and regain your happiness.

Keep reading to discover some tips on how to stop missing your ex.

how to stop missing your ex


If you find yourself constantly thinking about your ex, it’s a sign that you’re missing them which means you still have feelings for them.

Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is unhealthy and can hinder you from moving on with new partners. Here’s how to stop missing your ex:

1. Understand why you miss your ex

It’s normal to miss someone you were once close with, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

The key to moving forward is figuring out the underlying reason why you’re longing for your ex.

Are you lonely and simply miss the companionship? Do you miss the familiar routine you had together?

Or are you obsessing over the good times you shared, forgetting why you broke up?

Take an honest look at the relationship and remind yourself why it ended.

The fights, betrayals, boredom, whatever it was—revealed that the relationship was imperfect and had to end.

While you may miss your ex at times, deep down you know you’re better off apart.

If you feel lonely and need some companionship, hang out with your friends more often to help you chase away boredom.

You can also join some dating apps for singles to meet new people. Don’t let your loneliness drag you back to a relationship that isn’t right for you.

Accept that it ended for a reason and find meaningful ways to keep yourself busy so you don’t think of your ex often.

how to stop missing your ex

2. Allow yourself to grieve the loss

Breaking up with someone you love is painful. You may spend nights crying and wishing your ex will come back to you.

This is a perfectly normal reaction to loss and you don’t need to put on a fake facade to show that you’re strong.

Let yourself feel the pain—it’s the only way to get rid of the pent-up emotions so you can heal your broken heart and move on.

Cry if you need to, look through old photos, or listen to songs that remind you of good times together.

Connecting with others who have gone through a breakup can help you feel less alone during the grieving process.

Call a friend, join an online support group, or see a therapist.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Make sure to exercise, eat healthy meals, get enough sleep, and avoid excessive alcohol or caffeine.

Taking care of your physical and emotional health will help you feel better equipped to handle the grief.

No matter what you do, don’t neglect yourself or wallow in self-pity. Have the courage to rise above the negative feelings and move on with life.

While it may not seem like it now, the pain will lessen over time. Be patient with yourself and avoid bottling up emotions. Let the grieving process run its course.

One day you’ll realize you went a whole hour without thinking of your ex, then a whole day.

Once you’re done grieving, find healthy ways to stay busy and distracted. Take up a hobby, make plans with friends, or pick up an extra shift at work.

The more you occupy your mind, the less time you’ll have to dwell on the loss.

Letting go of someone you care deeply about is one of the hardest things in life.

But by allowing yourself to fully grieve, connecting with your support network, and practicing self-care, you will start to heal.

The pain won’t disappear overnight, but it will fade, and you will find happiness again.

3. Avoid romanticizing the past

To stop missing your ex, you need to avoid idealizing your past relationship.

It’s easy to remember only the good times you shared, but that will make you feel worse and prevent you from moving on.

Remind yourself of the reasons why you broke up. Focus on the problems, arguments, hurt feelings, and incompatibilities that proved you weren’t meant to be.

While the good memories are nice to have, the relationship as a whole wasn’t right for you.

Keeping this realistic perspective will help balance out nostalgic thoughts that make you miss your ex.

Don’t dwell on what might have been. Wondering how life might be different if you were still together will only cause you pain.

The relationship ended for a reason, and what’s done is done. Fantasizing about an imaginary happy future together won’t change the present situation.

The healthiest thing to do is accept the end of the relationship and channel your energy into taking the next step forward.

Let go of regret and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Beating yourself up over what you could have done differently won’t undo the breakup and will make you feel worse.

Learn from your experiences and use that knowledge to build healthier relationships going forward.

Forgive your ex for their mistakes as well—harboring resentment will only tie you to the past and make it harder to move on.

When you stop idealizing and dwelling on the relationship that ended, it will be easier to stop missing your ex.

Focus on the present and the future instead—that’s where new beginnings and better things are waiting for you.

how to stop missing your ex

4. Stop stalking your ex 

Letting your ex go will be one of the hardest but most important steps to moving on. You need to do everything in your power to not stalk them.

Constantly checking up on your ex via social media or other means will only make you miss them more and stall your progress.

Delete their phone number and unfollow them on all social platforms. Remove the temptation to reach out or snoop into their life.

This may hurt initially, but continuing to cling to images of the past will prevent you from living in the present and finding happiness.

Ask a friend to change your account passwords so you avoid logging in for a while.

Let them know your goal is to stop obsessing over your ex and have them check in to keep you accountable.

If you feel the urge to stalk coming on, get up and do some light exercise like going for a walk.

Physical movement boosts your mood and can help reframe your mindset. It’s also a good idea to keep yourself busy with meaningful activities.

Pick up a hobby, make new friends, volunteer, or join a fitness center.

The more you occupy yourself, the less time and energy you’ll have to miss and dwell on your past relationship.

While it may feel impossible, the distance will grow easier each day until you realize you’ve moved on for good.

The best thing you can do for now is to stop clinging to the past and open your eyes to the bright future ahead.

Letting go of an ex is challenging, but with determination, you can redirect your thoughts to better things.

5. Fill your time with meaningful activities

Once you’ve created some distance, it’s time to redirect your focus and energy into new routines and habits.

Use this time to reconnect with who you are and do things that make you feel good about yourself.

The more you build your own self-worth, the less power your ex will have over your happiness. Here are some ideas to keep you busy and distracted:

• Make plans to see friends and family who support and uplift you. Let them know you’re going through a breakup and could use their company.

If you start to feel upset, don’t isolate yourself. Call someone to chat or meet for coffee.

• Dive into an activity you’re passionate about or try something new. Join a support group, or book club, and take a class on something you’ve always wanted to learn.

Having projects and goals will boost your confidence and self-esteem.

• Go for a jog or walk, do some yoga, or hit the gym. Exercise releases feel-good hormones that can help improve your mood and ease anxiety.

Even just 30 minutes a few times a week can make a big difference.

• Make sure to schedule in time for yourself. Do small things each day that you find meaningful or uplifting.

Read a book, get a massage, cook a nice meal, or engage in spiritual practices. Taking good care of yourself will help you feel better equipped to move on from the past.

Moving on from a relationship is not easy but with time and conscious effort, the pain will start to fade.

Stay focused on nurturing yourself and the life you want to build as you work on your healing.

The more you honor your needs, the less control your ex will have over you.

6. Focus on self-care and personal growth

A breakup automatically changes your routine but that doesn’t mean your life has to be chaotic.

Use this opportunity to establish a self-care routine to boost your confidence and enhance your mood.

Start by exercising regularly. Go for walks or jogs, do some yoga, or just get outside for fresh air.

Eating healthy, balanced meals will also help you feel better physically and emotionally.

Stay hydrated, limit alcohol and caffeine, and avoid excess sugar. When you eat well, you have more energy and mental clarity to build a happier life.

This is also a perfect time to pursue hobbies and interests you enjoy. Join a club to meet new people, start a DIY project, read books, travel, or take up a new craft.

Pursuing personal growth and developing your identity outside of a relationship will help build your self-esteem and increase your level of happiness.

Rather than dwelling on the past, practice mindfulness or gratitude to shift your mindset to the present moment.

Spending time each day appreciating simple pleasures can help you feel more positive and hopeful about the future.

Talk to others who have been through similar experiences and seek their guidance.

Speaking with a counselor or therapist can also help you work through painful emotions healthily.

The end of a relationship is difficult, but focusing on self-care and personal interests will help you heal faster.

Take things day by day, be gentle with yourself, and know that you will start to feel better soon.

Use this time to become independent and pursue your own happiness. It may help you find yourself again.

how to stop missing your ex

7. Start dating other people

Moving on from an ex is challenging, but putting yourself back out there and dating new people is one of the best ways to stop missing your ex.

Here are some tips that can help you navigate the dating world after a breakup:

• Focus on having fun: Don’t go into dating with the expectation that you’ll find your next long-term relationship right away.

Instead, aim to simply enjoy yourself and the experience of meeting new, interesting people. Take the pressure off yourself to feel an instant connection.

Just get out and do casual, low-key activities like grabbing coffee, trying a new restaurant, or seeing a movie with someone new.

• Keep an open mind: Avoid comparing your date to your ex. Every person is different, so try to be fully present and engaged with whoever you’re with.

Pay attention to their unique qualities and the new connections you’re forming.

Getting to know someone new will help fill your mind and time, leaving less room to dwell on the past.

While it can feel uncomfortable at first, putting yourself in new dating situations is a great way to gain confidence, rediscover your own values, and stop idealizing your ex.

The more you do it, the easier it gets. Don’t be afraid to take breaks when you need to, but keep making the effort to move on.

Each date that goes well will make you realize there are more fish in the sea and help you close the chapter on your past relationship for good.

8. Give yourself time to heal

Getting over an ex takes time. Be patient with yourself—there’s no set timeline for moving on from a breakup.

The pain you feel is a reflection of the depth of care and emotional investment you had in the relationship.

Allow yourself to fully experience the grief, but also make sure to engage in self-care.

While it’s important to reflect on the relationship, try not to obsess about what went wrong or ruminate about the good times you shared.

This will only make it harder to move forward. Don’t dwell on the past instead, focus on the present and future.

What new doors have opened up for you now that you’re single again? Visualize the life you want to build for yourself without your ex.

The pain will lessen over time so be gentle with yourself and keep your hope alive.

One day you’ll realize that thoughts of your ex no longer consume you and you’ll find yourself smiling again.

For now, keep putting one foot in front of the other, stay committed to your healing journey, and know that happier days are on the horizon.


Breaking the habit of missing your ex takes time and effort, but it’s so worth it. Each day that goes by is one more step in the right direction.

Keep your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel, fill your time with meaningful activities, and connect with your loved ones.

Before you know it you’ll be feeling happy and free. This is your life—don’t let anyone else control your happiness.

Accept that your relationship is over and focus on moving on with grace. One day, you’ll look back and be proud of how far you’ve come!


Recommended reading:

How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex After A Breakup

7 Reasons Why You Should Never Talk To Your Ex

10 Sneaky Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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