Should You Maintain Contact With Your Ex?

Should you maintain contact with your ex?

Has your ex asked you to be just friends and you’re contemplating whether or not to maintain contact with him?

It’s not a coincidence you’re here! You were meant to read this blog post today so let’s dive in…

On Valentine’s Day last year, I received a call from my ex. He wanted to check up on me and ask how I was enjoying my Val.

A part of me knew he just wanted to find out if I was celebrating it alone or with someone special.

Or maybe I just wanted him to think that. Maybe it would be consoling if I thought that he still cared about me.

I secretly wished he would tell me he missed me terribly and wanted me back. But it didn’t happen!

It felt so depressing to expect love from someone who has obviously moved on.

If he had asked us to be friends, I would have probably agreed and then felt confused about all the contradicting feelings I had about our relationship.

The truth is, being friends with an ex can get complicated really fast because you’re unsure of what to expect next but you’re silently hoping for your love to be rekindled.

This is not the case for everyone though!

I know a few friends who are still friends with their ex. They keep in touch occasionally with no strings attached and the relationship is thriving.

If you ask me if I still keep in touch with my ex, my answer would be yes and no. Do you ask why? I’ll tell you…

I keep in touch with previous partners who broke up with me maturely; without drama because we both drifted apart and there was no future for us.

But I don’t keep in touch with exes who abused me or cheated on me. I completely cut them off until I’m ready to speak to them again.

It could take a few months or even years before I accept friendship from an ex. I also have exes I don’t ever talk to for reasons best known to me.

I think everyone has different opinions concerning their past relationships.

If you’ve decided to maintain contact with your ex, take note of the following tips:


Being in touch with an ex is entirely optional but it’s good to know the pros and cons of staying friends with a previous lover.

Should you maintain contact with your ex? Here are 7 tips to consider when you're friends with your ex

1. Keep the relationship platonic

This is very important if you want to maintain contact with your ex.

You must maintain a casual relationship with your previous partner especially if you don’t know where the relationship is going.

This means that there should be no emotional attachment with him. Let your ex know you’re only interested in being friends with him and nothing more.

Don’t send romantic texts to each other. Don’t allow him to kiss you and don’t try to seduce him either.

Ensure you don’t get entangled in a romantic or intimate atmosphere with him alone.

Your relationship ended for a good reason; keep it that way and just be friends so you don’t get hurt in the end.

2. Keep the conversation casual

If you want to maintain contact with your ex, avoid bringing up issues from your old relationship.

Talk about what you are currently doing, your work and your future plans. Avoid kicking off from where you stopped.

Don’t be too familiar or playful with him as if you’ve known him for a long time even if you do.

Don’t fantasize about the beautiful moments you spent together or how wonderful your relationship was.

Going down memory lane could bring back crazy feelings you’re not ready to entertain and that’s not healthy for you.

3. Be friendly but not flirtatious

It’s often hard to know when to draw the line when you’re “just friends” with your ex.

Sometimes, emotions can get in the way of your friendship and you end up acting awkward around your ex.

You should know when to draw the line between friendship and a romantic relationship.

Dress decently when you’re around him so you don’t give out the wrong signals.

Don’t wear overly attractive things when you know you will be hanging out with your ex.

Don’t hold hands with him or hug him for too long either. It could send the wrong signals and before you know he will be hitting on you!

4. Don’t sleep with your ex

This is really important if you want to maintain contact with your ex. Intimacy creates complications in casual relationships.

It is best to abstain from it until you’ve both decided to get back together and renew your relationship.

No matter what happens, lock up your cookie in the cookie jar and don’t give in.

Resist the temptation to sleep with your ex because trust me, you don’t want to go down that road of mixed feelings and confusion.

Should you maintain contact with your ex?

5. Don’t fall back into old routines

It’s very tempting to assume you can just pick up from where you left off with your ex and fall back into old habits like using pet names.

But, it’s the wrong thing to do if you want to maintain a casual relationship with your ex. Don’t assume that you’re just going to continue from where you left off.

Don’t bring up the activities you used to do together as a couple. Don’t do those sweet things your ex adored when you were together.

Most importantly, refrain from contacting your ex daily. Excessive calling or texting shouldn’t be a part of your routine.

6. Know when to back out

If things begin to get tensed or complicated, back out of the relationship. You don’t want to have another heartbreak that will wreck you.

Don’t allow anyone to force you into what you don’t want. If you don’t want to maintain contact with your ex, purge him out of your life and cut off all contact with him.

If he pressures you when you’re not ready to commit, be strong enough to decline his offer and move on with your life.

7. Don’t stalk your ex

Avoid following your ex everywhere he goes. Don’t track his movements and don’t stalk him on social media either. It will only lead to obsession, jealousy and heartbreak.

Let him live his life while being friends with you and learn to live your own individual life without depending on your ex.

If you want to keep in touch with your ex, it entirely depends on you as long as you don’t have any romantic feelings for him.

But, if you’re struggling to move on and you feel your relationship was a match made in heaven, you can read my article on How To Get Your Ex Back to help you make him fall in love with you all over again.


Recommended reading:





About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

error: Content is protected!