9 Warning Signs He Wants To Break Up With You

signs he wants to break up with you

Do you have a nagging feeling that your boyfriend is pulling away?

Maybe he’s not as sweet and attentive as he used to be. Or he’s acting distant and preoccupied.

Whatever it is, you can’t shake the sense that the relationship is in trouble. Could he be getting ready to end things?

Before you spiral into full panic mode, watch out for these warning signs he wants to break up with you.

If several of these ring true, it might be time to brace yourself for the worst.

But don’t assume the relationship is doomed yet—we’ll also cover how to get to the bottom of what’s going on and turn things around if you want to fight for the relationship.


Most people in committed relationships don’t just wake up one morning and call it quits.

Breakups often begin weeks or months before someone finally gathers the courage to end the relationship.

If your man is suddenly acting strange, pay close attention to these signs he wants to break up with you:

1. He’s spending less time with you

When a man wants to break up with you, he may not do it outrightly but he’ll begin to slowly distance himself.

Instead of spending quality time with you, he may prefer to do things solo or hang out more often with his friends.

If you used to go out for dinner a few times a week, he’ll cancel the dates or purposely forget them and claim he’s busy. The truth is, if he wanted to make time for you, he would.

A decrease in quality time together is a major red flag. Men are simple creatures—if they’re into you, they’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible.

So if your man is pulling away, it likely means his feelings are fading and he’s trying to distance himself.

Have a heart-to-heart conversation and let him know you’ve noticed the change and you’re not happy about it.

You can say something like “I’ve noticed we haven’t been spending much alone time together lately and I miss that.”

See how he reacts—if he gets defensive or makes excuses, it’s probably time for a more serious discussion about where the relationship is headed.

The amount of effort someone puts into spending time with you is a reflection of how they feel about you.

Pay close attention to this warning sign. A drop in quality time and affection is usually one of the first indicators that your man wants to break up with you.

The question is, are you going to confront him about it or just sit back and wait until it’s too late?

signs he wants to break up with you

2. He takes longer to respond to your calls and texts

Has your guy always been quick to respond to your messages but now sometimes ignores them altogether? That’s not a good sign.

If he’s taking hours or even days to get back to you, it could mean he’s pulling away.

Maybe he’s gotten busier with work or other commitments, but if his communication has dropped off significantly, you need to consider the possibility that he may want to call it quits.

Rather than make excuses for his behavior, have an honest conversation about where things stand.

You can start by saying something like, “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed as responsive lately and wanted to check in to make sure everything’s okay between us.”

His reaction and willingness to talk openly about the relationship should reveal a lot.

Of course, there could be another explanation for the radio silence. But if deep down you suspect he may want to end things, trust your gut.

Don’t be in denial that the signs are there just because you’re afraid to face the truth.

Have the courage to find out what’s really going on before you invest any more time and energy into a failing relationship.

3. He’s acting cold and distant

If your guy has gone from warm and affectionate to aloof and distant, that’s a big red flag.

Maybe he doesn’t call or text as often as he used to. Or when you are together, he seems distracted and not fully present.

He could be pulling away because he’s gearing up to end things. When a man withdraws emotionally, it often means he’s done investing in the relationship.

He’ll stop making an effort to connect with you on a deeper level or show interest in the details of your life.

The intimacy and closeness you once shared start to fade. Conversations become superficial.

Affection and compliments dry up. His body language changes as well and he avoids eye contact or physical touch.

All of these point to the fact that he’s putting up walls and creating distance so that when he does break up with you, it won’t hurt as much.

The worst part is that his coldness leaves you feeling confused, anxious, and insecure in the relationship.

You know something isn’t right but he denies it when you try to talk to him about it. Don’t ignore the handwriting on the wall.

Talk to him about the state of your relationship and where he sees it going.

If he reacts positively and shows a willingness to work to improve your connection, that’s a good sign.

However, if he dismisses your concerns or tries to change the subject, it means a breakup will occur soon.

4. He picks fights with you over little things

A big sign a guy wants to break up with you is that he frequently creates unnecessary arguments or conflicts as a way to distance himself emotionally.

When the man you’re dating starts picking fights with you over minuscule issues, it’s a warning sign he may be looking for a way out of the relationship.

Little arguments that escalate into bigger fights are a clue that something deeper is going on.

Maybe his feelings have changed, or he’s no longer happy and looking to push you away.

Pay attention to the topics of your arguments.

If they are over unimportant things like how the toothpaste tube was squeezed, whose turn it was to take out the trash, or what show to watch on TV, it could indicate he’s nitpicking to provoke a bigger argument.

He may be doing this consciously or unconsciously as a way to create distance between you.

Rather than engaging in a shouting match over something trivial, try talking to him about the underlying issues.

You can start by saying “This seems like an inappropriate reaction over a small issue. Is there something else going on we should discuss?”

Let him know his anger and irritability are pushing you away, and that you want to work through this together.

However, if he continues to pick fights frequently and is unwilling to address problems in a constructive way, it may ultimately lead to a breakup.

signs he wants to break up with you

5. He’s no longer intimate or affectionate toward you

Intimacy and affection are the glue that holds a relationship together.

If your guy has stopped holding your hand, kissing you, hugging you, or being physically intimate, that’s a huge red flag.

Physical intimacy is an important way for couples to connect and bond.

When that disappears, it signals your partner may have emotionally disconnected from the relationship.

Has your man stopped saying “I love you”? Does he no longer compliment you or do small things to show he cares?

These gestures represent his affection toward you. If he’s no longer making an effort to express his feelings or show you affection in the ways he used to, he may have fallen out of love.

It’s normal for the intensity of affection and physical intimacy to ebb and flow in a long-term relationship.

But if it has been completely withdrawn for an extended period with no explanation, that is usually a sign that the emotional connection has faded and your partner wants to break up.

The bottom line is that relationships require work, communication, and effort from both partners.

If your man is no longer willing to put in the effort to maintain intimacy and show you affection, he may have already moved on emotionally.

Have an open, honest conversation with him about the lack of intimacy and how it makes you feel.

His reaction and willingness to work on improving the situation will reveal a lot about the state of your relationship and whether breaking up is on his mind.

6. He avoids or dismisses conversations about the future

When a man starts avoiding talks about the future of your relationship, that’s a clear sign he wants to break up.

For example, if you try to bring up moving in together or taking a big trip next year, he may change the subject or make some excuse about why that won’t work out.

This behavior shows he’s no longer invested in the long-term and is putting distance between you emotionally.

His refusal to commit to future plans also reveals he’s keeping his options open in case someone else comes along.

Rather than be upfront that he’s having doubts, it’s easier for him to brush off your attempts to map out what’s next for the two of you.

Don’t let him get away with being evasive or wishy-washy about where the relationship is heading.

Call him out on his avoidance and let him know you expect open communication about the future, whether he’s in or out.

You deserve clarity on where you stand and whether your relationship has a future.

Don’t waste time on a man who won’t give you a straight answer on his intentions.

Ask him why he’s reluctant to discuss the future and be prepared to walk away if he continues to be vague or noncommittal.

You want someone who will enthusiastically plan and build a future with you, not leave you guessing if there’s still a relationship to save.

signs he wants to break up with you

7. He shows little concern for your feelings, needs, or well-being

A caring partner will constantly show interest in how you’re doing and feeling.

If your man rarely asks about your day or how you’re holding up, that’s not a good sign.

Does he dismiss your concerns or ignore your opinions? Does he cancel plans last minute or not follow through on things he said he’d do?

If he makes empty promises and doesn’t seem to value your time, he may be pulling away.

Pay attention to the little gestures too. Things like hugging you, holding your hand, or giving you his full attention when you’re speaking.

If he used to do these kinds of affectionate things but now barely touches you or makes eye contact, his feelings may have changed.

Don’t make excuses for his behavior or blame yourself. You deserve a relationship where your needs and feelings are respected.

Have an honest conversation with him about what you’ve noticed. Tell him his distance and lack of concern are hurting you, and you want to know if something’s wrong.

His reaction will let you know where you stand. If he gets defensive or tries to gaslight you into thinking nothing’s changed, it may signal the relationship is in trouble.

But if he owns up to his mistakes and commits to doing better, there’s still hope. Just make sure his actions start matching his words.

You can’t force a man to change, you can only decide what you’re willing to accept.

8. He openly expresses dissatisfaction or unhappiness in the relationship

If your guy has recently become more vocal about what’s making him unhappy in the relationship, it could be a sign that he’s looking for a breakup.

He may say things like “We never do anything fun together anymore,” or “I feel like you don’t appreciate me.”

Listen carefully to his concerns and see if there are any valid points you can both work to improve.

However, if his complaints seem petty or are never-ending, this could be his way of distancing himself to soften the blow of an impending breakup.

Rather than communicating with you to try and fix the issues, he’s planting seeds of doubt and creating reasons in his mind why you’re not right for each other.

Don’t let his discontent and criticism make you feel like you’re not good enough or that you did something to cause the downfall of the relationship.

His dissatisfaction says more about him and his unwillingness to put in effort to make things work.

This type of behavior shows he’s already checked out mentally and is looking for excuses to end things, rather than reasons to fight for the relationship.

Have a conversation with him about where his head and heart are at regarding the future of your relationship.

While it may be a painful discussion, it’s better to gain clarity on where you stand, instead of remaining in limbo while he continues to pull away and breaks up with you in a slow, passive manner.

signs he wants to break up with you

9. He says he needs space or wants to take a break

A clear sign a guy is looking to part ways with you is that he’s hinting about taking some time off to figure things out.

If your boyfriend tells you he needs some space or wants to take a break from the relationship, that’s a sure sign he’s gearing up to end things.

Sometimes guys will use this tactic to ease into a breakup by distancing themselves first.

Pay attention to how he says it and how you feel in the days following this conversation.

Does his behavior change and become more distant? Does he stop texting or calling as much? Do you get the sense he’s pulling away?

These could all be indicators that he’s not really looking for temporary space, but rather paving the way for a breakup.

Of course, sometimes people just need a little room to breathe in a relationship. But if your instincts are telling you this feels like more than that, trust your gut.

The best thing you can do is have an open, honest conversation with him about where you both stand and what you really want.

The truth may be hard to hear, but knowing where you stand will help you start the process of moving on if that’s what needs to happen.

Don’t let him string you along by accepting his request for space if deep down you suspect he has one foot out the door.

Have the courage to stand up for what you deserve—a committed partner who wants to be with you forever.


Do you suspect your man wants to break up with you? If you notice these red flags in your relationship, don’t ignore them.

While some of these signs on their own may not mean he’s ready to end things, if you see a few of these happening, it’s time to talk about where you both see the relationship going.

The key is communication. If you’re able to discuss your issues openly, you may be able to get back on track.

But if he’s completely checked out, you’ll know in your gut it’s time to let him go and move on to someone who wants to be with you.

Trust your instincts! You deserve to be with someone as committed as you are.


Recommended reading:

9 Telltale Signs A Man Is Unhappy In A Relationship

15 Obvious Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore

10 Things Men Do When They No Longer Care About You

10 Signs Your Partner Is Giving Up On The Relationship

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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