So, you’ve found a girl you love who adores you. But something feels off.
Maybe you’re noticing little things that just don’t add up and now you’re wondering—does she really love me, or is she just pretending?
It’s a tough spot to be in, but you’re not alone.
Many people doubt their partner’s intentions from time to time, especially when the relationship is still new.
If you’re starting to doubt your girlfriend’s feelings for you, let’s look at some telltale signs that might help clear the fog and give you a clearer picture of what’s going on in your relationship.
10 CLEAR SIGNS SHE’S PRETENDING TO LOVE YOU
Relationships can be tricky sometimes and it’s natural to have questions about the authenticity of your partner’s feelings.
While it’s important to communicate directly and trust your instincts, here are some obvious signs a woman is pretending to love you:
1. She never contacts you first unless she needs something
Does your girlfriend only reach out when she needs something? This is a classic sign that she’s using you.
It seems your relationship is more of a convenience for her than a genuine connection. If she never texts or calls just to chat or check in, that’s a red flag.
Relationships thrive on mutual interest and effort, not just one person making all the moves.
Notice if her conversations start with requests or favors rather than a sincere desire to connect with you or check up on you.
In healthy relationships, communication flows naturally and isn’t dictated by needs.
If all her interactions are transactional, it’s time to take a closer look at her intentions.
While everyone gets busy, a consistent lack of initiative on her part—especially if it comes with sporadic bursts of interest when she needs something—could mean she’s not as invested as you are.
2. She makes excuses to avoid spending time with you
Is your girlfriend always too busy to see you? This is a clear sign that you’re not a priority in her life.
When someone is invested in building a long-term relationship, they naturally find time to be with their partner.
But if she constantly has excuses—be it a sudden work emergency, a mysterious headache, or an unexpected visit from a distant relative—it might be a red flag.
Of course, life can get hectic, but if you notice a recurring pattern of last-minute cancellations or vague responses about when she’ll be available, it’s worth paying attention.
When someone genuinely loves you, they’ll carve out time, even amidst the busiest schedules.
Another sign is if she often proposes meetups with words like “let’s catch up soon” without any concrete follow-up.
This lack of commitment can indicate that she’s not prioritizing your relationship.
Remember, actions speak louder than words. If her calendar is perpetually full, it might be time to reconsider where you stand.
3. You often have to beg or bribe her for intimacy
When genuine affection is present, physical intimacy flows naturally.
If you find yourself constantly having to beg your girlfriend or offer incentives for a moment of closeness or romance, it’s a red flag.
True love should never feel like a transaction; emotions and desires should be reciprocated without coercion or bargaining.
It’s crucial to pay attention to the signals your partner is giving. If she avoids your touch or seems disinterested when you seek closeness, this could mean that her feelings aren’t genuine.
But don’t jump to conclusions too quickly. Look for patterns, not isolated incidents, to determine the authenticity of her affection.
Take a step back and reflect on your relationship dynamics. Has she always been like this or did she recently start to withdraw?
Maybe she’s dealing with some personal issues at the moment and isn’t in the mood for intimacy.
Open communication can often reveal underlying problems. Express your feelings honestly, and encourage her to share her thoughts.
This dialogue might help clarify any misunderstandings or confirm your suspicions.
4. She never does anything to make you feel special
One of the most glaring signs a woman’s love is not genuine is the absence of thoughtful gestures.
In a loving relationship, partners naturally find ways to make each other feel valued and cherished.
So if your girlfriend never goes out of her way to do something nice for you—whether it’s a simple note left on your desk or planning a surprise date—it might be time to pay closer attention.
Verbal expressions of love are another key indicator. If she rarely or never tells you how much you mean to her or avoids giving compliments, it could be a sign that she doesn’t have feelings for you.
Authentic affection often spills over into the way we communicate with those we care about.
When actions and words don’t align, it can create confusion and doubt. A woman who truly loves you will show it through consistent actions that reinforce her words.
If she’s only present during convenient times or when she needs something, it might indicate she’s not emotionally invested in the relationship.
5. She prioritizes her own needs and desires without considering yours
A major sign a woman is pretending to love you is that she’s selfish and only cares about herself.
If your girlfriend consistently prioritizes her own needs and desires without considering yours, this is a huge red flag.
Maybe you both made plans to spend the evening together, but she suddenly decided to meet her friends without discussing it with you.
This pattern of behavior suggests she’s not interested in growing the relationship.
Another sign to watch out for is if she brushes aside your preferences and insists on things going her way. This shows that she’s self-centered and unwilling to compromise.
When you’re the one who constantly adjusts plans to fit her schedule, it means there’s an imbalance in the relationship.
A loving partner would try to understand and address your feelings, not dismiss them in favor of her own.
6. She avoids deep conversations
When a woman is pretending to love you, she’ll often want to steer clear of deep conversations.
However, when love is genuine, partners naturally engage in discussions about their feelings, dreams, and even insecurities.
Does it feel like your conversations lack depth? If your girlfriend consistently avoids talking about her feelings, aspirations, or fears, it might be time to question her true intentions.
When someone is truly in love, they’re usually eager to share their inner world, not just mundane small talk or superficial topics.
Notice if she often becomes uneasy or distracted during discussions about the future or personal growth. A lack of genuine emotional engagement can be a red flag.
While not everyone is comfortable sharing deep feelings initially, persistent avoidance might suggest something else is at play.
Pay attention to how much she reveals about her life and future plans. If her responses are vague or dismissive, it might be her way of keeping you at arm’s length.
7. She often talks about the things you need to do or get for her
Have you ever noticed that your conversations with your girlfriend are always about what you have to provide for her?
Instead of discussing meaningful aspects of life or your relationship, she focuses on what you can do for her.
Pay attention if conversations revolve more around material things—what you need to buy or the favors you have to perform.
This pattern of behavior indicates that her affection is contingent on what you can offer materially or in actions and the relationship is more transactional than emotional.
If every chat feels like a reminder for tasks, you might be dealing with someone who’s prioritizing her needs over genuine connection.
While it’s natural to want to make your partner happy, be wary if it feels like you’re Santa Claus or her ATM.
Healthy relationships thrive on mutual support, not transactional exchanges. If love feels like a chore, it might be time to look closer or say goodbye.
8. She never spends her money on you voluntarily
When it comes to relationships, a common expectation is a mutual exchange of efforts and resources.
If your girlfriend never reaches for the check, offers to treat you to a meal, or buys you gifts occasionally, it might be a red flag.
This isn’t about keeping tabs or balancing the books—it’s about effort and intentions.
If she’s genuinely invested in the relationship, she’ll want to contribute in some way, whether it’s picking up the coffee tab or surprising you with a small gift.
A woman who is truly interested will naturally show it through her actions, including financial gestures. It’s not about extravagant gifts but rather the thoughtfulness behind the gestures.
Does she ever surprise you with your favorite snack or insist on paying for tickets to a movie she knows you love?
These small actions are telltale signs that she’s emotionally invested, contrary to someone who’s stringing you along or using you for personal gain.
9. She shows little or no interest in your life
One of the biggest red flags is when your girlfriend doesn’t seem to care about your well-being.
If she brushes off your problems or changes the subject when you talk about your struggles, she might be pretending to love you.
A genuine partner will ask how you’re doing and offer support when you’re feeling down.
Another sign is her indifference to your achievements. When you succeed, whether it’s a promotion at work or finishing a challenging project, a loving partner celebrates with you.
If she doesn’t share in your joy or even remember what you’ve accomplished, it might suggest a lack of true affection.
Genuine interest in your life includes curiosity about your hobbies, goals, and dreams.
If your girlfriend never asks personal questions or seems uninterested in spending time with you, it could mean her feelings aren’t as deep as they should be.
10. She’s reluctant to meet your family
A clear sign that a woman might be pretending to love you is her reluctance to meet your family.
When someone truly cares, integrating into each other’s lives becomes a natural progression.
If she’s always finding excuses to avoid family gatherings—like a sudden work commitment or an unexpected headache—it might be time to consider why.
Does she dodge conversations about future holidays or family events? This could suggest she sees the relationship as temporary.
A genuine partner is eager to be part of family traditions, and not shy away from them.
If she seems disinterested when you talk about your family or changes the subject swiftly, it could be a red flag.
Real connections involve wanting to know the people who matter most to you. Her lack of curiosity suggests that she’s not committed to building a long-lasting relationship with you.
Conclusion
If you suspect your girlfriend is pretending to love you, pay attention to her actions and body language.
It’s not fun to think about, but being aware of the signs can save you a lot of heartache in the long run.
Trust your gut and observe her closely to find out her true intentions. If something feels off, have a conversation with her and be ready to walk away if nothing changes.
You deserve to be with someone who truly appreciates you for who you are.
Recommended reading:
10 Obvious Signs She Has No Feelings For You