10 Signs You’re Not The Only Guy In Her Life

signs you're not the only guy in her life

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Do you think your girlfriend is cheating on you with another guy?

Maybe you thought you were the only apple of her eye, but you’re beginning to suspect that you may not be the only man in her life!

We’ve all been there, thinking we were the sole focus of our partner’s attention.

Before you get too far into the relationship though, you need to find out if you and your girlfriend are exclusive.

This article highlights some behaviors women exhibit when they’re dating more than one guy.

From changed relationship statuses and being busy all the time to long periods of silence, we’ll explore all the obvious clues you may be missing.

Keep reading to discover the signs you’re not the only guy in her life and what to do about it. 


When a woman is double dating, she often has to split her time and energy between two guys.

As a result, she may tell lies, pretend to be busy, or seem distracted when you’re together. Watch out for the warning signs you’re not the only guy in her life:

1. She’s vague about her plans

Is your girlfriend often secretive about what she’s up to? Does she avoid giving you specific details about her whereabouts? That’s a red flag!

A lady who refuses to tell her boyfriend where she’s going or what she’ll be doing is definitely hiding something.

If you were the only man in her life, she’d want you to know what she’s up to and will even share her location from time to time.

So if your woman is shutting you out of her life, something is definitely off.

If she was really into you, she’d reveal her plans and even keep you up-to-date on her everyday life.

Vague plans mean she has someone else in her life and you’re not top priority.

Stop letting her treat you like a second choice. You deserve someone who’s just as excited to spend time with you.

signs you're not the only guy in her life

2. She’s often busy and unavailable

A big sign your girlfriend has another man in her life is that she claims to be busy all the time and you can’t get a hold of her.

Whenever you try to make plans with her, she has other commitments.

It’s either she’s not sure what she’s doing later in the day or she “has a thing” with friends, family, or work friends but won’t give you details.

She’s often evasive and you just can’t get a straight answer about her schedule.

If your girlfriend is always “tired” or “busy” when you try to set up dates and she’s often shady about her availability, trust your gut. Chances are you’re not the only guy in her life.

A woman who is dating only one man is usually excited to spend time with him and will even make out time from her busy schedule.

Have a chat with your girlfriend and get to the bottom of things!

3. She takes a long time to respond to your texts and calls

Another sign your girlfriend is seeing someone else is that she takes forever to respond to your texts and calls, or says she didn’t see your message.

Women who are super into someone will eagerly respond as soon as possible.

If she’s always late getting back to you or takes hours or even days to reply, that’s a major red flag she’s juggling multiple guys.

Don’t let her feed you excuses about being “busy” or her phone “died.” She knows you want to hear from her and would make it happen if you were truly important to her.

Pay attention if her responses seem hurried or vague on the phone. She may be trying to keep you on the hook while directing her attention elsewhere.

If you constantly feel like an afterthought and you’re tired of begging for attention, it’s time to move on.

4. She only contacts you when she needs something

Another sign you’re not the only guy in a girl’s life is that she acts distant and only reaches out when she’s in need.

For instance, she’ll call you out of the blue because she needs a favor or wants something from you. If a girl only hits you up when she’s bored or needs money, that’s a red flag.

Does she avoid making plans with you but keeps you on the hook as her go-to helper? Don’t ignore the warning signs!

A girl who genuinely cares about you will check in just to say hi and see how you’re doing.

If it feels like you only hear from her when she’s in crisis mode, it may be time to downgrade her from bae to acquaintance.

You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you without an ulterior motive. Don’t settle for less than you’re worth!

signs you're not the only guy in her life

5. You often catch her telling lies

A major sign your girlfriend is double dating is that you frequently catch her telling lies. Her words and actions don’t match.

For example, she may claim she went to visit her parents over the weekend but they denied seeing her.

Or she says she was assisting a sick friend but it turns out to be a lie. If you notice your girlfriend’s stories don’t add up, pay close attention.

When a woman’s excuses don’t line up or she gets defensive about innocent questions, she’s likely covering up time spent with other guys.

Don’t let her pull the wool over your eyes! If your gut is telling you something’s off, confront her politely but directly so she can’t wiggle her way out with more lies.

6. She hides her relationship status from others

When a girl is dating more than one guy, she’ll try to hide her partners from the public eye so she doesn’t get caught. This is especially true if her boyfriends both live in the same city.

If your girlfriend is actively hiding the fact that she’s in a relationship with you, that’s a huge red flag. Watch out if:

She won’t post photos with you on social media. It’s like she wants to keep her options open and doesn’t want people to know you’re together.

She gets weird when you ask to meet her friends. No committed girlfriend hides her man away so if she’s not introducing you to her inner circle, that’s not a good sign.

She never refers to you as her “boyfriend.” If she calls you funny nicknames and says you’re a good friend, it could be a sign that she’s seeing someone else.

She avoids public displays of affection when you go out today. If no hand-holding or kissing is allowed outdoors, she’s likely protecting her image as a single lady.

Take it from me, if your girlfriend exhibits this kind of shady behavior, it’s time to have a serious talk with her.

When a partner hides your relationship from others, it means they’re not proud to be with you or there’s someone else in the picture.

signs you're not the only guy in her life

7. She’s always on her phone when you’re together

Is your girlfriend often distracted by her phone when you’re trying to spend some quality time with her?

Maybe you’re trying to have a nice dinner together, but her phone keeps buzzing with notifications.

Or when you go out, she’s texting and scrolling instead of talking to you. This is a clear sign she’s seeing someone else.

A girl who’s into you will put her phone away and focus when you’re together.

But if she’s always distracted on her phone, it likely means she’s chatting with other guys she’s interested in or wants to keep herself busy with social media so she doesn’t have to talk to you.

Have an honest chat about phone use during your dates and when you’re trying to bond.

If she won’t change her habits, it may be time to move on. No one is too busy for the person they love!

8. She doesn’t show you love and affection

One of the best parts of being in a relationship is those little displays of affection that make you feel loved and wanted!

If your girlfriend is not reciprocating your love with sweet little kisses, cuddles, hand-holding, and words of affirmation, that’s a sure sign she has another guy on the side.

Does she shy away from intimacy or seem distant after dates? That’s not a good sign!

If you try to hold her hand and she pulls it away, something fishy is going on. Pay attention if she never texts or calls just to say hi or let you know she’s thinking of you.

Don’t let her ice-cold behavior make you feel inadequate. Have an open and honest chat about meeting each other’s needs.

If she’s still acting emotionally distant, you may need to move on and find someone else.

signs you're not the only guy in her life

9. She’s not interested in getting to know you

If your girlfriend never asks about your interests, family, or friends, that’s an obvious sign she’s not invested in really knowing you.

Does she tune out when you open up or share personal stories? Does she avoid questions about her own life? Are your conversations always shallow?

A girl who cares about you will ask questions and dig deeper to learn what makes you tick.

But if your relationship is built on late-night texts and physical stuff without meaningful conversations, chances are you’re not her one and only boyfriend.

Don’t waste time on someone who doesn’t care to discover the real you. Find a girl who lights up hearing about your life and passions!

10. You have a gut feeling she’s cheating on you

Do you think your girlfriend is messing around with other guys? If something feels off, there’s probably a reason. Don’t ignore the red flags.

Has her behavior changed recently? Is she more protective of her phone, staying out late, and being less affectionate toward you? 

Sudden disinterest in physical intimacy could mean she’s getting it elsewhere.

If you suspect your girlfriend is cheating or hiding something from you, check her texts, scroll through her social media profiles, look for receipts, or go through her wardrobe.

You may find something odd but don’t become paranoid or jump to conclusions. Talk to her first before assuming the worst. Communication is key!

If you really feel she’s cheating, it may be time to have a serious talk or walk away from the relationship.


If you’re seeing any of these signs in your relationship, trust your gut. You deserve to be someone’s one and only.

Don’t waste time on a girl who can’t give you her full attention or treat you like a priority. Know your worth and focus on finding a partner who will cherish you.


Recommended reading:

10 Obvious Signs You’re In A Fake Relationship

9 Signs You’re Forcing A Relationship With Someone

10 Obvious Signs She Doesn’t Love You Anymore

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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