Do you think you’re a good wife? Are you being the best spouse you can be?
If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you’re not alone. Marriage is tough, and no one’s perfect.
But if you’re wondering whether you could step up your game, it’s time to take an honest look at your behavior.
In this article, we explore some signs you’re not a good wife and how to be a better spouse.
Before you proceed, try to have an open mind and know that I simply want you to have a healthy marriage.
This blog post wasn’t created to judge you so don’t take it the wrong way.
15 GLARING SIGNS YOU’RE NOT A GOOD WIFE
Being a good wife takes a lot of hard work, sacrifice, and commitment. Sadly, not everyone is meeting up.
If you made a vow to your husband, you have to make sure you’re honoring it every single day.
Of course, no one is perfect and you’ll inevitably fall short on some days.
But the important thing is that you are actively putting in the work and doing your very best to be a great spouse.
If you think you’re not doing so well, here are a few signs you’re not a good wife and what to do to improve your marriage:
1. You don’t respect your husband
Respect is the cornerstone of any healthy marriage.
If you’re constantly belittling your husband, dismissing his opinions, or speaking negatively about him to others, it’s a clear sign you’re not being a good wife.
Now, respect isn’t just about avoiding criticism—it’s about actively valuing your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and contributions.
Try to catch yourself when you’re being disrespectful, and try to show appreciation instead.
Men love to be respected and if you’re not doing that, it can make your husband walk away.
2. You’re not supportive of your husband’s goals
Being a good wife means being your husband’s biggest cheerleader.
If you often dismiss his dreams or belittle his ambitions, you’re not living up to that role.
Maybe you roll your eyes when he talks about starting a business, or you discourage him from pursuing a promotion. This can make him lose confidence in himself.
A wife’s support can make a huge difference in a man’s success. Instead of being a roadblock, try to be his motivator and sounding board.
Your encouragement could be the push he needs to achieve greatness.
3. You often nag and quarrel with your partner over little issues
Do you always pick fights with your spouse over minor things? Constant bickering and nagging are not good for your marriage.
Whether it’s about dirty dishes or misplaced socks, these petty arguments create a toxic atmosphere.
Instead of fostering love and understanding, you’re cultivating resentment.
A good wife chooses her battles wisely and approaches disagreements with patience and empathy.
If you often nag and quarrel with your spouse over every little thing, you’re not being a good wife.
Try to see things from your husband’s perspective and focus on what truly matters in your relationship.
4. You refuse to compromise or negotiate with your husband
A major sign you’re not a good wife is that you want things to go your way all the time.
Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. If you stubbornly stand your ground and refuse to budge on issues, you’ll slowly destroy your relationship.
Remember, compromise isn’t about losing—it’s about finding a middle ground.
When you consistently dismiss your partner’s needs or opinions, you’re sending a clear message that your way is the only way.
This attitude can breed resentment and erode the foundation of your marriage.
Try to approach disagreements with an open mind and a willingness to meet halfway.
5. You don’t appreciate your husband’s efforts
Do you often take your husband’s contributions for granted?
It’s easy to overlook the little things he does, like fixing that leaky faucet or remembering to pick up your favorite snack.
However, failing to acknowledge these gestures can make him feel unappreciated. A simple “thank you” will go a long way.
Make an effort to notice and verbalize your gratitude for your spouse’s actions, both big and small.
This recognition not only boosts his self-esteem but also strengthens your bond as a couple.
6. You neglect your spouse and don’t prioritize his needs
In a healthy marriage, both partners’ needs matter. But if you’re constantly putting your own desires first, it’s a red flag.
Are you dismissive when your husband shares his day? Do you brush off his concerns or forget important dates?
Maybe you’re always too busy for quality time together or you never listen to him when he shares his thoughts.
You need to remember that your husband’s happiness and well-being should be just as important as your own.
Neglecting his needs can lead to resentment and distance in your relationship.
No matter how busy you are with work, household chores, or the kids, always find a way to meet your man’s needs.
This will help to strengthen your relationship and keep your love alive.
7. You don’t satisfy your husband in bed
Let’s face it: physical intimacy is a crucial part of marriage.
If you’re constantly turning down your husband’s advances or treating lovemaking like a chore, you’re not being a good wife.
It’s not just about the frequency – it’s about enthusiasm and connection too.
Maybe you’re not communicating your desires or exploring new ways to spice things up.
A good wife makes an effort to keep the spark alive in the bedroom, even when life gets busy.
If you have no clue what to do to keep your husband happy, here’s a step-by-step guide on how to satisfy a man in bed and make him addicted to you.
8. You don’t care about getting to know your in-laws
A glaring sign you’re not a good wife is that you don’t make an effort to connect with your husband’s family.
Your in-laws are an extension of your spouse, and showing interest in them is crucial for a healthy marriage.
If you’re constantly avoiding family gatherings or making excuses not to spend time with them, it’s a red flag.
While you don’t have to be best friends with your in-laws, making an effort to understand their background, traditions, and values can strengthen your relationship with your partner.
Remember, these are the people who shaped your spouse’s life—getting to know them can provide valuable insights into your partner’s personality and upbringing.
Plus, when you put in the work to get to know your in-laws, you can create a harmonious relationship with them.
9. You constantly fight with your in-laws
Apart from not wanting to connect with your in-laws, constantly fighting with them can strain your marriage.
If you’re always butting heads with your partner’s parents or siblings, it’s a sign that you’re not a good wife.
Maybe you’re quick to take offense, unwilling to compromise, or simply don’t make an effort to get along.
Learn to be more patient and accommodating with your in-laws. They are important to your spouse.
By constantly fighting with them, you’re putting your partner in an uncomfortable position and potentially damaging your relationship.
10. You try to separate your husband from his family
You might not realize it, but constantly badmouthing your in-laws or discouraging your husband from spending time with them shows that you’re a bad wife.
A good wife understands the importance of family bonds and supports her partner’s relationships.
Instead of creating distance, try to find common ground and build positive connections with your husband’s family.
Unless your in-laws are toxic and harmful to your spouse’s well-being, don’t try to come between them.
Encourage him to connect with them and embrace family gatherings as opportunities to strengthen your marriage, not weaken it.
11. You place your parents and siblings above your own family
Do you value your family of origin more than the family you’re creating?
You might think you’re a dutiful daughter or sister, but constantly prioritizing your parents and siblings over your spouse and children can be detrimental to your marriage.
If you’re always running to your family’s aid or letting their opinions sway major decisions, you’re not giving your own household the attention it deserves.
Remember, when you got married, you created a new family unit.
While it’s important to maintain relationships with relatives, your spouse and kids should come first in your life.
12. You expose your husband’s flaws to others
Most women think it’s harmless to vent about their partner’s shortcomings to friends or family, but it’s actually a sign of a bad wife.
When you talk bad about your spouse or reveal his weaknesses to others, you’re betraying his trust and damaging your relationship.
Your husband is supposed to be your teammate, not your enemy. Instead of gossiping about his flaws, try addressing issues directly with him.
Open communication builds a stronger bond and shows respect for your marriage.
13. You spend your husband’s money on frivolous things
Are you constantly swiping that credit card without a second thought?
If you’re blowing through your husband’s hard-earned cash on unnecessary luxuries, it’s time for a reality check.
Maybe you’re justifying those designer handbags or weekly spa treatments as “self-care,” but excessive spending can create issues in your relationship.
While it’s okay to buy the things you need, it’s also crucial to work towards financial stability.
Instead of spending money carelessly, try to have open conversations about budgeting and finding more affordable ways to treat yourself.
When you’re good at managing money, your spouse will appreciate you more.
14. You often give your husband bad advice
Are you your husband’s go-to for guidance? That’s great, but make sure you’re not steering him in the wrong direction.
You might think you’re being helpful by sharing your thoughts on every issue, but constantly offering poor guidance can strain your marriage.
Whether it’s encouraging risky financial decisions or pushing him to make career moves that backfire, your well-intentioned but misguided advice can lead to frustration and resentment.
Instead of always jumping in with your opinion, try listening more and supporting his judgment.
A good wife empowers her husband to make his own choices and offers thoughtful input only when asked.
Before sharing your opinions, consider if you have enough knowledge on the subject. If not, encourage him to seek expert advice.
Being supportive doesn’t always mean having all the answers. Sometimes, the best thing to do is simply listen.
15. You don’t want the best for your spouse
A clear sign you’re not a good wife is that you secretly hope your husband doesn’t succeed or achieve his dreams.
Instead of cheering him on, you feel jealous or threatened by his accomplishments.
You may even undermine his efforts or withhold support when he needs it most.
A loving wife wants her spouse to thrive and grow, both personally and professionally.
If you’re not genuinely excited about your partner’s goals and wins, it’s time to examine why and work on being more supportive.
Conclusion
I’ve highlighted a few traits of a bad wife and how to be a better spouse.
If you’re wondering whether you’re a good wife, don’t beat yourself up! Nobody’s perfect, and marriage is tough.
The most important thing is recognizing areas where you can improve and make an effort to do better.
Talk to your husband about any issues you’re facing in your marriage, be honest about your shortcomings, and work on strengthening your relationship together.
Lastly, being a “good wife” looks different for every couple. Don’t try to meet up with society’s standards or expectations.
Focus on what matters most to you and your partner. This is the best way to build a successful marriage.
Recommended reading:
9 Subtle Signs You’re Not A Good Daughter-In-Law
14 Signs Your Mother-In-Law Doesn’t Like You