What really goes on in the minds of men? Why do they act the way they do? How do they express and receive love?
Many women ask these questions when they’re in a new relationship.
If you’ve been wondering what you can do to create a deeper connection and have a better relationship with your man, this article provides some insight into the inner workings of the male mind.
The truth is, men and women think very differently, and it’s important to be aware of those differences if you want to strengthen your bond.
I’ve compiled a list of things women need to understand about men in relationships.
Read on to gain a fresh perspective on how men think and learn some tips for improving communication and intimacy in your love life.
7 THINGS WOMEN NEED TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT MEN
Understanding each other in a relationship is key to staying together for the long haul.
If you understand how men think and what they need to be happy, you’ll be in a better position to love them the way they want.
Here are some insights that will help you understand your man:
1. Men want respect and appreciation
Men crave respect and appreciation from their partners. They want to know that you value them for who they are.
If you’re in a committed relationship, compliment your guy regularly and express how much you appreciate what he does, both big and small.
Say “thank you” when he takes out the trash or gives you a back rub. Tell him how much you respect him for working hard at his job or being a great dad.
Simple gestures like these make a man feel respected and build his confidence in the relationship.
On the flip side, nagging, criticism, and spiteful comments can destroy your relationship. If there’s an issue you want to address, do so respectfully and with empathy.
Explain how certain actions make you feel without accusation. Give your man a chance to respond and have an open dialog.
Compromise when you disagree instead of insisting on getting your way all the time. Most importantly, treat your man as an equal and never look down on him.
All men want to feel irreplaceable in the lives of the women they care about. So make sure your guy knows you appreciate everything he contributes and respect him fully.
Acknowledging his efforts and appreciating his contributions can mean a lot to him.
Say “I love you” often, give unexpected hugs, hold hands, kiss, and maintain physical intimacy.
When you put in the effort to understand your man’s needs and make his happiness a priority in your life, you’ll have a blissfully happy partner who feels respected, appreciated, and secure in the relationship.
2. Men need space and time alone
Sometimes men need space to process their thoughts and feelings.
It’s not necessarily a sign of trouble in the relationship, but rather a way for them to recharge. Don’t take it personally when your man wants to do his own thing.
Give him space to pursue his interests. Encourage him to spend time with friends or engage in hobbies and activities he enjoys.
Having independence and autonomy is important for his well-being and happiness.
For most men, spending time alone reduces stress and helps them feel recharged. His alone time is not a reflection of you or your relationship.
Men tend to be more introverted and inward-focused. Solitude is how they unwind and renew their energy levels.
If you have a committed partner, be flexible and give him space when he’s stressed.
When work or life makes him feel overwhelmed, give him some time to decompress.
Be patient and understand that he may be less communicative during these times. Once he’s recharged, he’ll be better equipped to connect with you again.
While you have needs too, also recognize that his needs may differ from your own.
Giving each other space to maintain your individuality will help to strengthen your bond in the long run, so avoid acting clingy.
3. Men communicate differently than women
Have you noticed that communicating with your man can be difficult sometimes?
While you want to talk for long hours and make sure he understands you, he may be trying to end the conversation quickly.
The truth is, men and women often communicate differently in relationships. As a woman, there are a few things you should understand about how most men communicate.
If you’ve been frustrated about the poor communication in your relationship, here’s what you need to know:
• Men aren’t always the best verbal communicators. Many men prefer to bond over shared activities or experiences rather than long, heart-to-heart conversations.
Don’t take it personally if your guy isn’t very talkative. His silence likely doesn’t mean he’s upset or doesn’t care.
• Men tend to be more straightforward and prefer to focus on solutions rather than just expressing their feelings.
Whereas women often imply things or drop subtle hints, men usually just say what they mean directly. Don’t read into what isn’t said. Take the words at face value.
• Men don’t always share their feelings readily. A lot of men have been conditioned from an early age to hide their emotions.
It can take patience and understanding to get a man to open up. Create an environment where he feels comfortable sharing how he truly feels without judgment.
• Men want to fix rather than just listen. When you talk to your man about a problem, he may jump into “fix-it” mode rather than just listening empathetically.
It’s not that he doesn’t care about your feelings. Men are just natural problem-solvers.
Be direct if you just need him to listen. Say something like, “I just need you to listen right now. I’ll let you know if I want advice.”
Recognizing the differences in communication style can help reduce misunderstandings in your relationship.
If your partner seems less inclined to discuss emotions, it doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings; they might just express them differently.
Try to be patient with your man and be ready to meet him halfway, especially when you disagree with his approach.
4. Men express their love through actions, not words
One of the most important things women need to know about men is that they often express their love through actions. For many men, saying “I love you” does not come easily.
Don’t assume your man doesn’t care just because he isn’t verbally affectionate. Look for the ways he shows you he cares through his behavior. You can be certain he loves you if:
• He makes time for you. He prioritizes spending time together, even if he’s busy. Making you a priority in his life is a sign you’re important to him.
• He listens when you talk. He pays attention to the little details about your life and follows up on things you’ve discussed. He even remembers your favorite things and the stories you’ve shared.
• He offers help and support regularly. He is there when you need help with something like helping you move, fixing things around the house, or just listening when you’ve had a bad day.
• He surprises you with small gifts or your favorite treats. While grand gestures on special occasions are nice, small acts of kindness in between shows he’s thinking of you.
• He maintains eye contact, gives you hugs, holds your hand, and kisses you. For men, physical affection and intimacy are primary ways of expressing care, closeness, and emotional attachment.
• He compromises and considers your needs. He is willing to meet you halfway and factor your desires into decision-making. This shows your happiness and comfort are important to him.
Rather than needing to hear “I love you” all the time, appreciate all the little things your man does that show you how much you mean to him. For men, actions really do speak louder than words.
5. Men have a problem-solving mindset
Men are wired to solve problems. It’s in their nature. So when you come to a man with a problem, his mind immediately goes into solution mode. He wants to fix it and make things right.
This can be frustrating for women who often just want to vent or talk through their feelings.
Men need to understand that sometimes women aren’t looking for a solution – they just want a listening ear.
Saying things like “I’m sorry you’re going through this” or “That must be really difficult” can go a long way.
On the flip side, ladies need to understand that offering solutions is how men show they care. It’s not that he doesn’t value your feelings, he just wants to take away your pain or distress.
If you’re not in the mood for advice, be very clear that you just need him to listen. Say something like:
“I just need to talk this through. Can you listen without trying to fix it?”
“I appreciate you want to help, but right now I’m not looking for answers. I just need empathy.”
Now that you know how men think and operate, how can you deal with the obvious differences and have a better relationship?
When challenges arise, men should offer comfort even if they don’t fully understand why their partner is upset. And women should learn to be patient with the men in their lives who are natural fixers.
If you share a problem with your man, he might jump directly to finding a solution. This doesn’t mean that he’s dismissing your feelings, but rather it’s his way of trying to help.
Accept that support might come in the form of solutions, and let your significant other know what you need to feel better.
6. Men have insecurities too
Another thing women need to know is that men have insecurities and vulnerabilities too, even though they may not always show them.
Men often desire respect and approval from their partners as much as women do.
While they may not voice it, your compliments, encouragement, and overall belief in him mean the world. Remember to provide reassurance through your words and actions.
Men also worry about their performance. Whether in their career or personal relationships, men worry about measuring up and doing a good job.
Offer your support and let him know you appreciate his efforts. Instead of pointing out his shortcomings, focus on the qualities you value in him and motivate him to do better.
Another thing men struggle with is feelings of inadequacy. Society places a lot of pressure on men to be successful, provide financial security, and be physically fit.
This can fuel feelings of not being ‘man enough’. Compliment the qualities and attributes that make your man special to you. Your love and acceptance will help alleviate his self-doubt.
Men also get lonely from time to time. They crave intimate connections and relationships as much as women, though they are often less skilled at cultivating them.
Make time to listen to your man when he opens up, show interest in the things he cares about, and be physically and emotionally affectionate toward him.
Your love and attention can brighten his world and make him feel valued.
While men and women express themselves differently, at the core, the need to feel loved and accepted is universal.
Recognizing your man’s insecurities and providing your support and encouragement will strengthen your bond and bring you closer together.
7. Men value shared experiences and quality time
Do you know that men thrive on shared experiences and quality time with their partners? Spending meaningful time together is how men strengthen emotional connections.
Here are a few activities you can both engage in to keep the passion alive in your relationship:
Dates and adventures
Going on dates and trying new activities together helps your man to create beautiful memories and fall deeper in love with you.
Whether it’s going out for dinner, seeing a movie, hiking, or traveling, make time for regular dates and adventures as a couple.
Engaging in genuine, uninterrupted conversations is key to building a thriving love life.
Make eye contact, listen without distractions, ask open-ended questions, share details about your life, express how you truly feel, and encourage your man to do the same.
For men, physical intimacy is closely tied to emotional intimacy and feeling loved. Cuddling, kissing, holding hands, and giving massages can improve your bond.
Make physical intimacy a priority, not just when you’re in the mood for lovemaking but in little ways each day.
Creating the time and effort to share life’s experiences, have meaningful conversations, and express physical affection are the keys to strengthening your connection.
I’ve given you a few insights into the male mind that will hopefully help to strengthen your relationship and bring you closer together.
Men can be complex creatures, but at their core, they just want to provide, protect, and connect.
Understanding these fundamental needs can prevent misunderstandings and arguments in your relationship.
Rather than seeing your differences as obstacles, view them as opportunities to grow. Compromise when you can, give each other space when needed, and make communication a priority.
The truth is, you may never fully understand men, but by putting in the effort to keep your man happy, your relationship will blossom as a result.
Ultimately, everyone is unique and these points won’t apply to all men. The best way to understand your partner’s needs and feelings is through open, honest communication.
Ask your man what he needs from you and share your own needs in return. Healthy relationships are all about building mutual understanding and respect.
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.
As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.