Living together seems like the perfect next step for many couples in a committed relationship.
If you’ve been dating for a while now and marriage has crossed your mind, but you’re not quite ready to take that big leap of faith yet, cohabitation can be a good idea.
It allows you to take your relationship to the next level in a way that feels right for where you’re at.
Before you rush to the altar and say your vows, living together offers some major benefits that are worth considering.
You get a trial run at marriage to see if you’re truly compatible in a domestic partnership. You also save money by splitting living expenses.
And you have more freedom to do your own thing when you need space because you’re not technically married.
If you’re contemplating moving in with your significant other, keep reading to discover a few reasons why you should live together before marriage.
8 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD LIVE TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE
Living together before marriage can be beneficial for couples for several reasons.
If you’re not sure if it’s the right step for you and your partner, here are some good reasons to live together before marriage:
1. You get to experience what it’s like to live together
Living together before marriage allows you to experience what day-to-day life will really be like sharing a space with your partner.
If you’ve never had a roommate before, you might have no idea what it means to stay in the same apartment with another person.
So cohabitation can give you a sneak peek into what marriage might look like for both of you.
For example, you’ll learn your partner’s daily habits and routines. Do they squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube?
Do they leave dirty dishes in the sink? Finding out these little details beforehand will help ensure you’re compatible for a long-term partnership.
You’ll also know how they react during certain situations. For instance, do they get cranky when the house is dirty?
And how do they behave when they get home from work and there’s no food? Knowing these things can help you understand your partner’s personality better.
Most importantly, you’ll learn how to work as a team. When you live together, you have to find common ground on things like chores, leisure activities, holidays, and more.
If you can cooperate while cohabiting, you’ll have a solid foundation for a successful marriage.
While living together isn’t the same as marriage, it can help build a stronger relationship.
If you find you’re able to happily share a space together, respect each other’s needs, communicate well, compromise often, and still maintain your independence, then marriage may be the next step.
But if cohabiting reveals some areas that could use improvement beforehand, you’ll be glad you discovered them before walking down the aisle.
2. You’ll find out if you’re compatible as a couple
Living together simulates the experience of being married without a legal commitment.
It can help couples decide if they’re ready for a long-term commitment and comfortable with the idea of spending their lives together.
When you live together before tying the knot, you can find out if you’re on the same page when it comes to communication, finances, intimacy, and household chores.
Some say living together results in divorce, but studies show the opposite. Cohabitating couples report higher marriage satisfaction and lower divorce rates.
While it may not be for everyone, living together before marriage can strengthen your bond in ways you never expected.
Rather than jumping into lifelong commitment, enjoy the chance to learn what makes your relationship work. The rest will fall into place when the time is right.
3. You’ll learn how to split responsibilities and bills evenly
Living together before marriage allows you to split responsibilities and bills evenly to see if you’re truly compatible.
When you share a space with someone, you’ll need to determine who does what chores and how often. This includes cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning the house, and yard work.
Discuss each other’s schedules, strengths, and chore preferences to come up with an equal division of labor.
If needed, create a chore chart to make sure everything gets done. Sharing chores is a great way to see how you work as a team.
In addition to chores, you’ll need to determine how you’ll split rent, utilities, groceries, and other shared expenses.
Make a budget together to ensure all bills are paid on time and you stay within budget.
Handling finances jointly provides insight into each other’s financial habits and values.
How you share the daily tasks of cohabiting is a preview of what your future marriage may entail.
From household chores to grocery shopping, living together allows you to find the right balance in splitting responsibilities before legally committing to marriage.
It’s a chance to see if both partners are willing to contribute equally to maintain the household.
If you want your relationship to work long-term, remember to make compromises, communicate openly about your expectations, and always work as a team.
4. You can make sure your lifestyle aligns
Living together before marriage allows you to experience what day-to-day life might really be like with your partner.
You’ll get a chance to discover each other’s lifestyles and make sure they align with your own before tying the knot.
Do you go to bed early while your partner stays up late? Are you a night owl who struggles to get out of bed in the morning?
Sharing a living space means sharing a sleep schedule, so make sure your bedtime routine matches up. If not, you’ll need to find a compromise so you’re both getting enough rest.
Apart from sleeping habits, it’s also crucial to maintain your independence and personal space.
Even the happiest of couples need time alone. Living together shows you how much personal space and alone time you both need to feel balanced.
Are you content being around each other constantly or do you require regular independence?
Make sure you give each other opportunities for hobbies, interests, and friend time outside the relationship.
Living together may not solve all your relationship problems, but it can highlight potential issues around the lifestyle factors that really matter for long-term compatibility and happiness.
Rather than going into a marriage blind to these dynamics, living together first allows you to build the foundation for a lifetime partnership.
5. You get to see if you can resolve conflicts and compromise
Living together before marriage is the perfect way to test if you and your partner can compromise and resolve conflicts healthily.
Can you openly discuss issues that come up and find solutions you’re both happy with?
Compromise and understanding are important for a healthy relationship. Make sure you’ve developed good communication and listening skills before tying the knot.
Speaking up right away about annoyances or concerns, no matter how small they seem, will help avoid resentment building up over time.
Be willing to listen with an open mind and validate each other’s feelings. Focus on using “I” statements, finding practical solutions, and resolving issues as a team.
Some disagreements are inevitable, so see if you’re able to have constructive arguments.
Do you fight fair, avoid insults, and take time to cool off if emotions run high? Look for compromise and solutions you both feel good about.
If you can navigate conflicts in a healthy way and come out the other side still loving and respecting each other, that’s a great sign you’re ready for marriage.
Living together before marriage may seem risky, but when done for the right reasons and with open communication, it could be one of the best things you do for your relationship.
6. You’ll understand your financial habits better
Finances are a big part of cohabiting and sharing financial responsibilities can be tasking.
Will you split everything 50/50? Or take turns paying for groceries and bills?
These are all questions you can only answer if you both reside under one roof and it’s best to find a suitable arrangement before tying the knot.
Living together before marriage allows you to understand each other’s financial habits, attitudes towards money, and how well you can manage finances as a team.
Do you budget and track your spending? Are you a saver or a spender? Discussing your financial values and priorities will help determine if you have compatible views on money.
Maybe one of you is frugal while the other prefers lavish vacations. Finding a compromise and balancing your spending habits is important for a successful long-term relationship.
Sharing living expenses like rent, utilities, and groceries also provides insight into each other’s budgeting skills. Do they pay bills on time? Do they live within their means?
Money disagreements are a leading cause of divorce, so getting on the same financial page before marriage can help avoid issues down the road.
Living together allows you to discuss big-picture goals as well, like saving for a down payment on a house, planning a wedding, or saving for retirement.
Making sure your key financial goals align will result in a stronger partnership in the long run.
While love may be blind, moving in together before marriage will allow you to see your partner’s financial habits.
Discussing money matters openly and finding ways to compromise when needed, will build a solid foundation for your future together.
7. You can find the right birth control methods for you
Living together before marriage can help you find birth control methods that work for both of you.
Discuss your options together and with your doctor to determine what will be most effective and appropriate for your situation.
Do you want to use hormonal methods like the pill, patch, or ring? Or do non-hormonal methods such as condoms, pills, or natural family planning appeal more?
Hormonal options are very effective at preventing pregnancy but may cause side effects like mood changes or weight gain in some women.
Non-hormonal methods don’t have these risks but typically have a higher chance of failure.
If you don’t have a long-term plan for preventing unwanted pregnancies, you may end up with too many kids a few years after you get married.
Finding the right birth control is key to enjoying intimacy together while avoiding an unplanned pregnancy.
Discussing all options with your partner and doctor, as well as considering factors like hormones, effectiveness, and cost, will help determine what method is optimal for you.
The most important thing is that you both feel comfortable and confident in your choice.
8. You have the opportunity to get close to each other’s families
When you choose to live together as a couple, your friends and family will take it as a sign that you’re both serious with each other.
This means they’ll want to get to know your significant other which can bring you all closer together and avoid issues down the road.
Meeting your partner’s parents allows you to see what kind of family they come from and understand them better.
You’ll get a sense of what values and traditions are important to them, as well as witness firsthand any family dynamics that could affect your relationship.
Your partner will also appreciate you for making an effort to connect with their family.
Even if the initial meeting is awkward, over time you can build rapport and become more comfortable around each other.
Bonding with siblings and extended family members is also key. Make an effort to spend time with them at family events and holidays to strengthen your connection as a couple.
Getting on good terms with your partner’s family before the wedding will make the actual marriage transition much smoother.
You’ll already feel like part of the family, and your spouse will be happy knowing the people they care about most approve of and support your union.
While living together before marriage isn’t for everyone, spending quality time with your partner’s family can provide similar benefits.
Make the most of every opportunity to visit with them, even if it’s just a quick call to say hello. The effort you put in now will pay off tremendously down the road.
Conclusion
If you’re contemplating moving in with your partner, I’ve highlighted several reasons why living together before marriage makes sense.
Give it a shot—you have nothing to lose and so much to gain.
At the very least, you’ll learn more about yourself and your partner to make a more informed decision down the line.
At best, you’ll confirm you’re with the right person and build a rock-solid foundation for a long and happy life together.
While marriage is a big step, living together first is a small step that can lead to huge rewards.
However, every relationship is unique and what works for one couple may not work for another.
You need to communicate openly with your partner and decide what’s best for your relationship.
Recommended reading:
The Pros And Cons Of Living Together Before Marriage