How can you easily recognize that a guy just isn’t into you without him telling you?
Being in a new relationship with a guy is exciting especially if he ticks off a lot of good traits on your checklist.
But, thinking that he’s your perfect match doesn’t mean he’s willing to build a serious relationship with you.
And you won’t know his true feelings until you watch out for signs he’s just not that into you.
Sometimes, women get ahead of themselves by being too excited about their new guy friend, falling in love really fast and overcommitting before he has even had the time to consider if they are the girl of his dreams.
Men usually group women into three categories: long-term potential, candidate for the friend zone, and booty call material.
After several years of dating, I’ve come across a lot of time wasters that I can spot them from a mile away now.
I can also tell if a man has future plans for me or if he’s just looking for a casual relationship just by watching him for a short period of time.
Luckily, that’s not an option for me anymore because I’m married to my best friend and the love of my life.
On a serious note though, when a guy is not ready to commit to you, he’ll show it in his actions, words and body language.
Some women notice the red flags early but they convince themselves that they are probably being paranoid or insecure.
According to relationship experts, a big warning sign he’s not into you is that he puts in minimal effort to make you a part of his life.
There is a huge difference between a man who is interested in you and one who’s just playing you.
When he’s not into you, he’ll drop subtle hints that reveal his lack of interest in establishing a long-term relationship with you.
If you’re observant and honest with yourself, you’ll notice some crystal clear signs he’s just not that into you.
Before you start getting excited that you’ve finally found the man of your dreams, read this blog post and see if you find any warning signs that are present in your love life.
The best way to find out if he’s just stringing you along is to pay close attention to these telltale signs and compare it with your current relationship.
14 CRYSTAL CLEAR SIGNS HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
The dating world can be a complicated place filled with mind games, aimless players and frequent heartbreaks.
Not every man who approaches you actually has long-term plans for you so, it’s important for you to know when someone is not into you from the onset.
A majority of the guys you meet on dating apps are only interested in having a physical relationship with you and if you’re not careful, you’ll invest a lot of time and energy into them for nothing.
It can be totally exhausting to figure out if the guy you’re currently dating is really interested in you or not.
You may end up running in circles just trying to know whether this is true love, infatuation or mere signs of attraction.
If you’re struggling to read a man’s body language and you want to know if he’s the right guy for you, take a look at these 14 subtle signs he’s not into you.
1. You’re confused about his feelings for you
When you think about your boyfriend, are you certain that he loves you from the bottom of his heart and that he would do anything just to make you happy?
If you don’t know the answer to that question, that’s a big red flag right there.
Being confused about a man’s feelings for you is one of the biggest signs he’s just not that into you because when a man truly loves you, he’ll go out of his way to let you know that he’s serious about you.
A player on the other hand, will find it difficult to express any genuine love for you and he won’t be able to give you a good reason for his lack of affection.
If you’re constantly asking a man about his feelings for you or where your relationship is heading, this shows that he’s the type of guy who likes to play the field.
2. He’s always too busy for you
Everyone is busy with work, school, family, hobbies and other personal stuff but nobody is too busy for love.
A guy who sees a future with you in it, will definitely schedule time to see you or talk to you on a regular basis because he misses you when you’re not around.
He won’t mind strolling with you in the evenings, talking to you on the phone all night or spending his lunch breaks with you if that’s the only spare time he has during the day.
When a man is not interested in you, he’ll use anything he can find as an excuse for not making out time to be with you.
Do you always have to beg your man or skip important events just so you can spend some time with him?
One of the clear signs a guy is not into you is that he’ll claim to be busy so he can avoid meeting you or talking to you.
If he’s cancelled on you multiple times when you’ve had plans, that’s not a good sign.
3. He doesn’t ask you questions about your personal life
The best way to know someone better is by asking them personal questions about their life and listening closely when they talk about themselves.
Does your boyfriend tend to talk about himself non-stop? Does he pay more attention to other irrelevant things when you’re together?
When a man has future plans, he would like to know if your lifestyle or life goals align with his so he can figure out how best to move the relationship forward.
The only way he can know intimate details about you such as your personal goals is by asking you relevant questions and listening to you while you talk.
If your new guy is not asking you deep questions about yourself, it’s obvious he’s not planning to spend much time in your life.
4. He doesn’t give you his full attention when you’re together
In a healthy relationship, romantic partners make each other a priority by keeping in touch, spending quality time together, communicating openly and paying attention to important details.
On the other hand, if you have a toxic relationship, you’ll find yourself begging for your partner’s time and attention.
Does your boyfriend seem distant when you’re trying to have a conversation with him? Is he more interested in his phone than you when you’re together?
If your man’s attention is divided when you’re with him, your relationship may not be headed in the right direction.
A man who is genuinely interested in you will pay attention when you talk and remember even the little things about you without being reminded.
5. You’re the one who initiates contact first
A surefire way to know if a guy is interested in you is by measuring his level of communication.
Does your boyfriend contact you frequently? Does he call you, chat with you online or send text messages at least once a day?
Research shows that calling, texting and chatting on social media is one of the best ways couples keep in touch with each other throughout the day.
If you’re always the first person to call and send Good morning or Good night texts to him, this is a bad sign.
A man who is madly in love with you or at least interested in you will let you know that you’re the best thing that has happened to him by calling or texting regularly because he can’t stop thinking about you.
But, if your boyfriend only makes the first move when he wants to get intimate with you, he’s just using you.
When a man doesn’t contact you often, it’s obvious that you’re not really important to him and he’s just stringing you along.
6. You’re investing more into the relationship
A great relationship involves two partners who are actively investing quality time, love, affection and other valuable resources into it.
If you’re always the one planning dates, remembering special occasions and buying gifts for him, this is one of the obvious signs he’s just not that into you.
Men are natural providers because of their hero instinct and this means that they love to wear the pants in a relationship.
If a man truly loves you, he’ll be willing to do anything for you as long as it makes you happy.
This means he will spend his money on you, buy you nice things, set up romantic dates and go out of his way to help you.
When you’re the only one investing in your love life and doing everything you can to make your relationship work, you’re definitely in a one-sided relationship and your boyfriend is taking you for a ride.
7. He always arrives late to dates or events
Punctuality shows that someone values you and that they are eager to spend some time with you no matter how insignificant the occasion is.
Is your boyfriend the type of guy who always forgets your special dates or events until the last minute? Does he reluctantly show up when you invite him out?
This is how to tell if he’s not into you because when a good man is in a relationship with a woman, he tries to impress her with his best behavior.
This means that he will arrive early to pick you up for an important event or he’ll be at the venue on time because he doesn’t want to keep you waiting and he’s excited to see you.
If you have to scream, yell or cajole someone to meet you somewhere, that’s not a good sign for the future of your relationship.
8. He avoids making eye contact with you
People often say the eyes are the window to the soul. This means that our emotions, fears, and thoughts are immediately reflected in our eyes.
So, if you want to know what a person is thinking or feeling, you can look into their eyes and see what is going on below the surface.
The best way for couples to increase their emotional connection is by gazing into each other’s eyes frequently.
A guy who is into you will search your soul with his eyes because he wants to understand every little bit of what you’re saying and he’s interested in getting to know you on a deeper level.
If your boyfriend avoids making eye contact with you when he’s not a shy person, that’s a sign that he doesn’t want to stay for the long haul.
9. It seems like you’re in an on and off relationship
Does your boyfriend blow hot and cold? Does he seem really affectionate one day and extremely cold the next day?
If he’s giving you mixed signals and making you super confused about whether you have a relationship or not, he’s obviously just stringing you along.
When a man is interested in a woman, he makes it a priority to always show up and be there for her.
He doesn’t only come around when it’s convenient for him but even when it will disrupt his schedule.
Love sometimes involves compromise and sacrifice. And this means always being there for your partner and going out of your way to support them when things get tough.
If your boyfriend is unstable or inconsistent with his affection, this is a warning sign that he’s not into you.
10. He doesn’t open up about his fears, insecurities, or challenges
A strong relationship that can last the test of time needs honesty, open communication and vulnerability from both partners.
Everyone has fears, insecurities and struggles that no one knows nothing about unless they mention it.
If you’re with the right partner, you’ll tell each other sad stories about your past, share deep secrets in the middle of the night and bond through your darkest moments or bad experiences you’ve had in previous relationships.
When a man is not open, honest and vulnerable with you even after you’ve shared your secrets with him, this means that he’s keeping you at arm’s length.
This is one of the clear signs he’s just not into you.
Someone who doesn’t share much information about his private life or his past is not ready to get intimate with you.
11. He says he’s not looking for anything serious at the moment
Most women don’t take this hint seriously at the beginning of a relationship until it’s too late.
Has your boyfriend ever mentioned that he’s not looking for anything serious or that he’s not ready to commit to a long-term relationship?
This is one of the most obvious signs he is not interested in you but only wants to get laid.
Unless you’ve agreed to be in an open relationship, if you’re dating a guy, it’s supposed to be exclusive.
When a guy tells you he’s not ready for a serious relationship, don’t think for one minute that you can change his mind.
If he thinks that he can’t live without you, he’ll commit to you even without you asking or begging him to stay.
12. You’ve never met any of his close friends
Most men won’t introduce a woman to their family members unless they’re certain that she’s the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
This is totally understandable because a relationship unfolds with time and you can’t tell for sure if you’re compatible with your partner in the earliest stages of dating.
But, a man who has supportive friends will always want to keep them up to date on his love life and this involves introducing you to his close friends.
He’ll even ask you to hang out with him and his friends sometimes because you’re special to him.
If your guy treats you like a big secret around his friends, this is a huge sign that he doesn’t value you enough to introduce you to his inner circle or he’s seeing someone else.
13. He flirts with other women openly
Flirting with other people when you’re in a monogamous relationship is disrespectful, inappropriate and demeaning to your partner.
How does your guy behave in the presence of beautiful women? Does he check out the pretty waitress when you eat out?
A man who is interested in building a healthy relationship with you will keep his eyes on you when you’re together and won’t be distracted with other women no matter how beautiful they are.
And even if he looks at them, it would be out of mere curiosity not flirtation.
One of the biggest signs he’s just not that into you is when he flirts with other women openly especially in your presence.
This shows that his options are still open and he’s available to any woman out there who has something to offer.
If any man looks at women lustfully or talks about other women affectionately when you’re around, he’s clearly not interested in you.
14. He doesn’t offer you emotional support during the tough times
Being in a romantic relationship means that you get to offer each other open communication, mutual respect, true friendship, intimacy and emotional support.
This has to be a two-way street in order for couples to enjoy a successful relationship.
Life has ups and downs but people thrive amidst all the chaos because they have love and emotional support from at least one person.
Is your boyfriend the first person you call when you’re having challenges?
Does he offer you a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand or a cup of hot cocoa on the bad days?
A good man who is into you will want to take part in your happiness as well as your suffering because he’s the real deal.
But, a man who is not serious about you will never be there for you when you really need him.
One of the obvious signs he’s not interested in a relationship with you is when he’s noncommittal especially when there is no real benefit involved for him.
If your partner seems to only appear during the good times, it’s clear he’s not the kind of guy who is going to commit to a serious relationship in the future.
When you’re in a relationship with a man who is not interested in you, there are definitely going to be telltale signs everywhere.
All you have to do to know for sure if he’s not into you is to pay close attention to the red flags and trust your instincts.
Men often act goofy, super excited and a little bit enchanted when they’re in love or interested in a woman.
You’ll be able to tell if he likes you more than a friend if you observe his body language and listen to his words.
The bottom line is, a guy who isn’t that into you will be slow to text back, too busy to hang out or won’t make a huge effort to be there for you.
This is because he’s not ready for anything serious and doesn’t want to be fully invested in a relationship with you.
If you have a strong feeling that your boyfriend is not really into you and you’ve noticed some of these warning signs in your relationship, that’s all the confirmation you need to say goodbye to someone who doesn’t deserve you.
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life. As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are important in building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.