9 Glaring Signs He’s Forcing Himself To Love You

signs he's forcing himself to love you

You’ve been seeing this guy for a while now and things seem to be going well, but you sense something isn’t right.

Could he be forcing himself to love you even if he’s not feeling it?

It’s hard to tell if a guy’s feelings are real, but there are a few subtle signs you can watch out for.

In this article, we’ll go over the telltale signs a man is forcing himself to love you when he’s just not that into you.

We’ll talk about how his words and actions or lack thereof can reveal his true feelings.

You’ll learn the red flags to look out for so you can see if his feelings are genuine or if you’re just a placeholder until someone better comes along.


It can be difficult to tell when a man is forcing himself to love you but it’s important to pay attention to the clues.

When love isn’t genuine, you may struggle to maintain a strong bond with your partner.

Here are signs he’s forcing himself to love you and how to encourage him to be more authentic:

1. He struggles to show genuine affection

A big sign a man is forcing himself to love you is that his expressions of love feel forced or insincere.

If the guy you’re seeing has trouble expressing how he really feels about you, that’s a red flag.

Does he avoid holding hands, kissing, or hugging when you’re together? If physical intimacy feels awkward or forced, that’s not a good sign.

A loving relationship should have natural displays of affection. Little things like a quick kiss, touching your arm, or pulling you in for an embrace should happen spontaneously.

If he never compliments you or says “I love you” first, he may be struggling to connect emotionally.

You deserve to be with someone who can’t keep their hands off you and tells you how special you are.

Don’t settle for a man who has to psych himself up just to show you basic affection or intimacy.

Over time, those strained moments will become more and more obvious and damaging to your self-esteem and the relationship.

The ideal partner will make you feel cherished and desired. If you have to constantly ask for hugs, kisses, or kind words, you’ll end up feeling unwanted and unloved.

Don’t fall into the trap of making excuses for his behavior or thinking you can change him.

You can’t force someone to be emotionally available or make them genuinely fall for you.

Save yourself the heartache and find a man who can love you openly without reservation.

signs he's forcing himself to love you

2. He avoids deep or meaningful conversations

Another sign a man is forcing himself to love you is that he never wants to discuss things that are deeply important to you.

Maybe he changes the subject whenever you bring up your hopes, dreams, or past.

Or perhaps he sticks to light, superficial topics and avoids emotional intimacy at all costs. Either way, it’s a sign he’s not truly invested in the relationship.

A man who loves you will value meaningful communication. He’ll ask questions about your life, feelings, and goals because he genuinely cares.

If this guy avoids profound discussions altogether, it could indicate he’s forcing the relationship when his heart’s not really in it.

Of course, some people are just private or less emotionally expressive. But if he never opens up, even after months together, that’s usually a deal breaker.

Healthy relationships require emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and a willingness to share life’s ups and downs.

If your boyfriend shies away from heart-to-heart talks, that’s not a good sign.

You deserve a partner who listens and wants to know the real you. Don’t waste time on a man who can’t give you his heart.

Work on finding someone who will dive deep into meaningful conversations and really get to know the amazing woman you are.

3. He seems pressured or uncomfortable when saying “I love you”

When a man is forcing himself to express love for you, saying those three little words won’t come naturally.

You may notice he seems tense or awkward when he says “I love you.” He may stammer, avoid eye contact, or quickly change the subject after saying it.

For men, saying “I love you” is a big deal, but for a man who doesn’t truly feel that way, it can feel like a betrayal of himself.

He may only say it because he feels obligated to, based on relationship milestones, or because you said it first.

Have an open and honest conversation about your relationship and what you both want.

Forcing love where there is none will only lead to hurt and resentment down the road.

A healthy, loving relationship is based on mutual care, respect, trust, and attraction.

Don’t settle for less by coercing a man into loving you through guilt or obligation.

You deserve to be with someone who loves you for who you are—and who says “I love you” like he means it.

4. He constantly compares you to past partners or idealized versions of relationships

Comparing your partner to someone else is often an indication that you’re struggling to fully accept and love them.

If the guy you’re dating frequently brings up exes or a “perfect” relationship, that’s a sign he may be forcing his feelings.

Constant comparisons are unfair and will only make you feel like you’re never quite measuring up.

Has he said things like “My ex always did this” or “In a good relationship, couples should…”?

While some reference to past experiences is normal, if he judges your relationship by unrealistic standards or can’t seem to stop talking about old girlfriends, that’s a red flag.

The truth is, every relationship is different, so what worked for others may not work for you two.

Rather than living in the past or chasing some fantasy, he should focus on accepting you for who you are.

If he’s serious about you, he needs to give you his full attention and affection.

Don’t let him make you feel like a consolation prize or mold you into someone else.

You’re more than enough, and the right guy for you won’t make you doubt that.

Have an honest conversation about how his comments make you feel and that you want to be appreciated for yourself.

If he’s unwilling to change, you may need to reevaluate the relationship.

signs he's forcing himself to love you

5. He doesn’t provide the emotional support, understanding, or care you need

A healthy relationship requires compromise and mutual emotional support to thrive.

If you feel like you’re always there for your guy but he’s never there for you, pay close attention.

Think about the times you’ve come to him upset, anxious, or needing reassurance.

Did he make you feel better by listening without judgment and validating your feelings?

Or did he get uncomfortable, change the subject, or make you feel like you were overreacting?

A loving partner will put in the effort to understand you, your needs, desires, and personal struggles.

If he doesn’t seem interested in learning what makes you tick or dismisses your feelings as unimportant or annoying, that suggests he may be forcing himself to stay in the relationship.

Your man should be your shoulder to cry on, your cheerleader, and your soft place to fall when times get tough. If he’s not being supportive, he may be faking his feelings.

Of course, relationships ebb and flow, and no one can be emotionally available and supportive 100% of the time.

But if you find yourself frequently feeling alone, uncared for, or like an afterthought to him, that’s a sign the love may be lacking on his end.

6. You feel that he’s staying in the relationship out of obligation or duty

Have you ever felt that the only reason your partner is still around is because he feels obligated?

Like he’s staying out of duty rather than desire or genuine connection?

This is a sign that he may be forcing himself to love you. Here are other signs to look out for:

• He rarely expresses affection spontaneously: Men who genuinely care show affection freely without being asked.

If he only holds your hand, kisses, or hugs you when you initiate it or on special occasions, he may be acting out of obligation.

Watch out if his affection feels like a performance rather than a genuine show of love.

• He avoids conversations about the future: When a man sees you as “the one,” he usually wants to talk about your future together.

If he avoids these discussions or changes the subject quickly, it could indicate he’s not truly invested for the long haul.

He’s living in the present moment out of duty but not passionately planning a future with you.

• He frequently criticizes or complains about you: Constant criticism is a sign of lack of compassion and respect.

While some complaints in a healthy relationship are normal, frequent nagging and hurtful comments suggest he doesn’t genuinely accept you for who you are.

He’s trying to change you to suit his needs rather than loving you unconditionally.

signs he's forcing himself to love you

7. He avoids making efforts to improve the relationship

When a guy is forcing himself to be with you, he avoids putting in real effort to strengthen your connection or improve the relationship.

He’s just not that invested, so why would he bother?

You may notice he never plans fun dates or surprises. The most you get is dinner at the usual place or Netflix on the couch—again.

He doesn’t ask how he can support you or make you happy. He’s not concerned with meeting your needs or building intimacy through quality time together.

If there are issues in the relationship, he avoids addressing them. He pretends problems don’t exist rather than working to resolve them.

Compromise and communication are too much work for a guy who’s just not that into you.

But a man who genuinely cares will actively nurture your relationship.

He’ll make an effort to understand you, meet your needs, and ensure you both continue to grow closer over time.

8. He often blows hot and cold

Keeping emotional distance, being emotionally unavailable, or shutting down when faced with intimacy can be signs a man is forcing himself to love you.

Does your man send you mixed signals which leave you confused about his feelings?

Maybe one day he’s showering you with affection and making grand gestures to show how much he cares.

The next, he’s distant, irritable, and acting like he couldn’t care less. These extreme changes in behavior are a major red flag that he’s forcing his feelings for you.

When a man genuinely loves you, his feelings will be consistent and steady.

He won’t suddenly flip a switch and become cold towards you, especially not right after being overly affectionate. His moods won’t change at the drop of a hat either.

Watch out for a guy who lavishes you with attention one moment, and then pulls away the next. This hot and cold behavior suggests his displays of affection aren’t sincere.

He may be acting this way to convince not just you, but himself that the relationship is right for him. Deep down though, he knows something is off.

Rather than being honest with himself, it’s easier for him to blow hot and cold. Don’t make excuses for his behavior or blame yourself.

You deserve someone who will love you consistently. If he frequently blows hot and cold, it will only lead to hurt, confusion, and low self-esteem in the long run. 

You may need to have an honest conversation about the relationship and whether you’re both truly on the same page.

signs he's forcing himself to love you

9. You constantly question his feelings

If you find yourself frequently doubting whether your man really cares for you, that could be a sign his love isn’t genuine.

When someone truly loves you, their feelings are consistently reassuring and validating.

If he frequently says or does things that leave you questioning whether he cares, his efforts to convince you of his love may not be sincere.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel secure in your partner’s affection and don’t have to second-guess their intentions or emotions.

Don’t ignore the little voice in your head telling you something feels off.

Constantly wondering if you can trust what your partner says is exhausting and damaging to your self-esteem. 

Rather than making excuses for his behavior or blaming yourself for doubting him, look at the situation objectively.

Are his actions and words lining up? Does he show interest in the things that matter to you?

True love means openly expressing affection and prioritizing your happiness along with your partner’s own.

If your man’s behavior leaves you questioning rather than feeling reassured, that may indicate he’s trying to force feelings that just aren’t genuinely there.

You owe it to yourself to be in a healthy relationship where you feel loved and valued unconditionally. Don’t settle for less.


Love is sweeter when it’s genuine. But if it feels forced, it can create feelings of rejection, loneliness, and unhappiness in a relationship.

You deserve someone who loves and accepts you completely, not because he feels obligated or because it’s convenient.

Don’t waste time trying to convince yourself or him that this can work. You know in your gut if it’s right or not.

Trust your instincts and pay attention to how you feel in the relationship to determine if the love is genuine and mutual.

Love shouldn’t be something you have to force, fake, or compromise on.

If it feels forced or insincere, don’t be afraid to walk away and find someone better.

The right person who will love you genuinely is out there and he will find you when you’re both ready.

But first, work on loving yourself a little more so you don’t settle for less than you deserve.


Recommended reading:

15 Clear Signs He Has No Feelings For You

15 Signs He’s Pretending To Love You

10 Obvious Signs You’re In A Fake Relationship

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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