Do you ever feel like your relationship is more of a burden than a blessing? You’re not alone.
Sometimes, we get so caught up in the daily activities of life that we don’t realize we’re actually suffering.
But here’s the thing: a healthy relationship should lift you up, not drag you down.
If you’re constantly feeling drained, anxious, or just plain unhappy, it might be time to take a closer look at what’s going on.
In this blog post, we’ll dive into 10 glaring signs that your relationship might be doing more harm than good.
Keep reading to find out if you should stay with your current partner or start planning your escape.
10 GLARING SIGNS YOU’RE SUFFERING IN A RELATIONSHIP
When you’re in love with someone, it’s normal to ignore their shortcomings and keep giving them multiple chances to be better.
However, not everyone deserves a second chance and you should be able to identify the people who don’t.
Here are signs you’re suffering in a relationship and how to tell if you should remain with your partner or move on.
1. You’re constantly walking on eggshells
A big sign you’re suffering in a relationship is that you do everything you can to avoid upsetting your significant other.
Do you find yourself carefully choosing every word, afraid that the slightest misstep might trigger an explosive reaction from your partner?
This constant state of anxiety shows you’re with the wrong person.
You’re not being your authentic self and having to censor your thoughts and actions to avoid conflict is a red flag.
When you’re tense all the time, it can leave you exhausted, drained, and on edge.
You might find yourself second-guessing everything you say or do, always anticipating a negative response from your partner.
Over time, this can erode your self-esteem and leave you feeling trapped in a cycle of fear and apprehension.
A healthy relationship should feel safe and supportive, not like navigating a minefield.
If you’re constantly walking on eggshells, it might be time to reassess your situation.
2. You don’t feel supported or valued
When you’re with the right person, you’ll often feel like your partner has your back.
But if you’re constantly left feeling unsupported or unappreciated, it’s a major red flag.
Maybe your accomplishments go unnoticed, or your struggles are brushed aside.
You might find yourself hesitating to share good news or seek comfort, knowing your partner won’t react the way you need.
This lack of support can leave you feeling isolated and questioning your worth.
A loving partner should be your biggest cheerleader, celebrating your wins and offering a shoulder to cry on during tough times.
If you’re feeling more like a sidekick than an equal, you may need to talk to your partner about your relationship dynamic.
3. Your needs aren’t being met
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel fulfilled and supported.
But if you’re constantly left wanting more, it could be a sign you’re suffering in the relationship.
Maybe you’re craving emotional intimacy, but your partner keeps you at arm’s length.
Or perhaps you need more quality time together, yet they’re always busy with other priorities.
It’s not just about the big stuff, either. Small gestures of love and affection matter too.
If you constantly yearn for validation, attention, or basic respect, it’s time to look hard at your relationship.
Remember, your needs are valid and deserve to be addressed. Don’t settle for crumbs when you deserve the whole cake.
4. You’re always apologizing and making excuses for your partner
Do you find yourself constantly saying “I’m sorry” or making excuses for your partner’s behavior?
This could be a glaring sign that you’re suffering in your relationship.
When you’re always on the defensive, trying to smooth things over or explain away your partner’s actions, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate.
Maybe you’re apologizing for things that aren’t your fault or making excuses to friends and family about why your partner couldn’t make it to an event.
Watch out if you always feel the need to apologize even if you didn’t do anything wrong.
This pattern of behavior can be exhausting and chip away at your self-esteem over time.
5. You’re unhappy most of the time
Do you feel sad or depressed when your spouse’s name is mentioned?
Maybe you used to smile just thinking about your partner, but now you feel a constant cloud of gloom.
The joy and excitement that once defined your relationship have faded, replaced by a persistent feeling of dissatisfaction.
You find yourself dreading time together rather than looking forward to it.
Little things that never bothered you before now get on your nerves.
Even when things seem to be going well, you can’t shake the underlying sense that something’s missing.
This deep level of unhappiness is more than just a bad mood—it’s a red flag that your relationship may be causing you real suffering.
While every couple has ups and downs, feeling chronically unhappy is a sign that it’s time to take a hard look at what’s really going on.
6. Your partner doesn’t allow you to do the things you love
Do you love to paint or dance but never get the chance to do it?
If your partner consistently discourages or forbids you from pursuing your passions, it’s a major red flag.
Healthy relationships support individual growth, not stifle it.
Maybe they guilt-trip you for spending time on hobbies, or they mock your interests.
Perhaps they demand all your free time, leaving no room for personal pursuits.
Whatever the tactic, the result is the same: you’re slowly losing pieces of yourself.
Your interests are part of what makes you whole. A partner who truly loves you will encourage your passions, not extinguish them.
If you’re with someone who discourages you from doing the things you love, that’s a clear sign you’re suffering in the relationship.
7. You feel oppressed and overshadowed
In a loving relationship, you should feel empowered and supported.
But if you’re constantly feeling small, insignificant, or like your voice doesn’t matter, it’s a red flag.
Your partner might be dominating conversations, making decisions without your input, or dismissing your opinions.
You may find yourself walking on eggshells, afraid to express your true thoughts or feelings.
This oppressive atmosphere can slowly destroy your self-esteem and identity.
A relationship should be a partnership where both individuals can shine.
If you’re feeling oppressed or overshadowed, it’s time to have an honest conversation with your partner or seek help from a trusted friend or relationship counselor.
Your happiness and sense of self are too important to compromise.
8. You frequently cry yourself to sleep
Do you often cry when no one is looking? If you find yourself quietly sobbing into the night, it’s a clear sign your relationship is causing you pain.
Maybe you’re replaying hurtful words your partner said to you or feeling overwhelmed by unresolved issues.
Perhaps you’re mourning the connection you once had or the dreams that now seem out of reach.
Whatever the reason, these nighttime tears are your heart’s way of expressing what you might be struggling to acknowledge during the day.
It’s a deep emotional response to the distress you’re experiencing. A healthy relationship should bring you more joy than sorrow.
If your nights are frequently filled with tears, it’s time to take a hard look at what’s really going on in your relationship.
9. You always complain about your partner to others
A major sign you’re suffering in your relationship is that you find yourself constantly venting about your significant other to friends, family, or even coworkers.
It’s like you can’t help but share every frustrating detail or annoying habit.
While it’s normal to seek advice occasionally, if you’re constantly badmouthing your partner, it’s a red flag.
This behavior not only erodes trust but also indicates deeper issues in your relationship.
Instead of addressing problems directly with your partner, you’re airing dirty laundry to others.
It’s a sign you’re feeling unsupported, unheard, or resentful.
Take a step back and ask yourself: Why am I always complaining? Is it time for an honest conversation with my partner instead?
Maybe you sacrifice a lot to keep the relationship but your partner never appreciates or reciprocates your efforts.
This can leave you feeling frustrated and taken for granted. Try to always discuss what’s bothering you with your partner rather than going to other people to complain.
10. You’re looking for a way to leave so you can be free
Do you find yourself daydreaming about life without your partner?
Maybe you’re scrolling through apartment listings or fantasizing about spontaneous solo trips.
These thoughts aren’t just idle musings—they are your subconscious telling you something’s off.
You might be feeling trapped or suffocated by the relationship’s demands. The idea of breaking free brings a mixture of excitement and relief.
Perhaps you’re even making concrete plans, like saving money or reconnecting with old friends.
It’s as if you’re preparing for a future that doesn’t include your current partner.
While it’s normal to occasionally imagine “what if” scenarios, constantly seeking an escape route is a clear sign that you’re suffering in your relationship.
It’s time to face these feelings head-on and decide what you truly want.
Conclusion
Relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows.
But if you’re constantly feeling drained, anxious, or like you’re walking on eggshells, it’s time to take a hard look at what’s going on.
Don’t brush these signs under the rug or make excuses. You deserve to be in a relationship that lifts you up, not one that brings you down.
If several of these red flags resonated with you, it might be time for a change. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your happiness and well-being.
Whether that means having a serious talk with your partner or considering moving on, you need to do what’s best for you in the long run.
Your future self will thank you for being brave enough to face the truth.
Recommended reading:
15 Telltale Signs You’re With The Wrong Person
12 Warning Signs Your Partner Is Taking You For Granted
9 Signs Your Partner Wants To Break Up With You
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.
As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.