10 Things You Should Never Forgive In A Relationship

things you should never forgive in a relationship

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Do you know that there are certain things you should never forgive in a relationship?

Whether you’re a religious person or not, you don’t have to overlook everything your partner does because you love them.

Sure, we all make mistakes and deserve a second chance, but when a significant other continuously engages in bad habits despite your pleas for them to stop, you need to reevaluate your relationship.

In this article, we’ll talk about the things you should never forgive in a relationship no matter how much you care about your partner.

We’ll also go over the mistakes you don’t have to excuse and why you owe it to yourself to walk away when they happen. Keep reading to learn more.


When you’re in a committed relationship, you can overlook small offenses or annoyances that occur from time to time, but if your partner does these things repeatedly, you don’t have to forgive them.

1. Physical Abuse

When a partner is physically abusive toward you, you don’t have to forgive them or stay out of obligation.

Physical abuse has no place in a healthy relationship. If your partner hits, slaps, or hurts you in any way, that behavior won’t change no matter what you do.

Don’t make excuses for their actions or believe empty promises that it won’t happen again.

Their anger issues are not your fault. Get out of there before the abuse escalates.

You deserve to feel safe with the person you’re with. If you realize you’re with an abusive partner, you need to prioritize your safety and well-being.

Talk to people you trust about what’s going on, and make a plan to leave as safely as possible.

You can also contact some international organizations that offer resources and shelter for domestic violence victims.

You may still care deeply for your abusive partner, but you need to care for yourself first.

Leaving will be hard, but staying will only enable the violence and destroy your self-worth over time.

Forgiving physical abuse means accepting the behavior, and you are worth so much more than that. Find help, get out as soon as you can, and don’t look back.

things you should never forgive in a relationship

2. Emotional Manipulation

Another thing you shouldn’t forgive in a relationship is emotional manipulation.

If your partner plays with your emotions to get what they want or makes you feel bad about yourself, that’s a major red flag.

Does your partner constantly make you feel guilty over small things to control you?

You don’t have to play nice to keep the peace or maintain your relationship.

You deserve someone who treats you with kindness and respect. Consider leaving that unhealthy situation as soon as possible.

Does your partner blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship? Some manipulators will blame you for their bad behavior.

They’ll make excuses and claim you “made them” act that way. Don’t buy into it. Their actions are their responsibility and you’re not at fault.

Does your partner often threaten you to do what they want?

Threatening to break up with you or engage in self-harm if you don’t do what they want is emotional blackmail.

If your partner is blackmailing you, get out of the relationship immediately.

A healthy relationship should make you feel respected, safe, and cared for, not scared and anxious.

Emotional manipulation may be hard to recognize at first, but once you see the signs, have the courage to stand up for yourself and leave.

3. Repeated Infidelity

If a partner cheats once and apologizes, you can give them a second chance, but when you realize that it’s become a habit, you don’t have to forgive them and continue to be disrespected.

Being cheated on once cuts deep enough, but repeated infidelity can shatter your trust and self-esteem.

You may start doubting yourself, wondering why you’re not good enough, and questioning your worth.

The lying and betrayal will become a never-ending cycle of hurt. At some point, you have to realize this person does not respect you or the relationship.

Continually forgiving a serial cheater allows them to get away with unacceptable behavior and sends the message that they can do whatever they want without consequences.

They may promise to change and be faithful, but their actions prove otherwise. Don’t fall for the empty words and crocodile tears.

You deserve so much better than someone who repeatedly strays and thinks only of themselves.

Ultimately, you must decide what is right for you, but I would advise against staying with someone who has cheated on you more than once.

The pain and mistrust will eat away at you until there’s nothing left of the relationship to save.

Walk away and save yourself from the trauma of being betrayed over and over again. A cheating partner has nothing to offer except anxiety, betrayal, and pain.

4. Financial Betrayal

One of the biggest things you should never forgive in a relationship is financial abuse.

If your partner has betrayed you financially—whether by hiding debt, overspending, refusing to pay their share, or stealing from you—it erodes the foundation of trust.

Once trust is broken in this way, it’s difficult to rebuild. You’ll find yourself constantly questioning their spending and doubting their honesty.

Every time they buy something new or an unexpected bill arrives, you may wonder what else they’re hiding from you. This level of anxiety and suspicion ultimately poisons the relationship.

Rather than endlessly going through their bank accounts and statements, it may be better for your well-being to end things.

You deserve a partner you can trust, and financial betrayal is one of the hardest things to forgive.

If you do want to work to save the relationship, be prepared for a long process of accountability, honesty, and rebuilding trust.

But there’s no guarantee you’ll ever feel fully secure with your partner’s financial responsibility again.

Sometimes, it’s better for your financial and emotional health to cut your losses.

Don’t feel guilty about prioritizing your security and stability. You owe that to yourself.

things you should never forgive in a relationship

5. Constant Disrespect

Disrespectful behavior is unacceptable and damages the foundation of a healthy relationship.

You shouldn’t have to accept disrespect from a significant other simply because you love them.

If your partner frequently insults you, calls you hurtful names, yells at you, or ignores your feelings, this behavior will only worsen over time.

Nobody deserves to feel constantly disrespected, unheard, or worthless in a relationship.

Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about their behavior and how their words make you feel.

Be specific about what they said that was hurtful. If they are unwilling to listen or make changes, you may need to reevaluate the relationship.

Your mental health and happiness should be a priority. Do not stay in a relationship where you feel constantly disrespected just to avoid being alone.

There are people out there who will treat you with kindness, empathy, and compassion. Demand the respect you deserve, and do not settle for less.

6. Chronic Dishonesty

We all tell little white lies from time to time, but chronic dishonesty is unacceptable and will destroy intimacy over the long run.

A partner who lies to you regularly about both small and big things will leave you constantly questioning their motives and words.

You’ll never feel fully secure in the relationship or be able to genuinely connect with them emotionally.

Don’t make excuses for a habitual liar or believe their promises to change. They may beg, plead, and cry, but dishonesty is a deep character flaw that rarely changes.

Consider ending the relationship before the deceit and betrayal cause lasting damage to your well-being and self-esteem.

The truth may hurt, but lies hurt even more. You owe it to yourself to find an authentic and trustworthy partner who will treat you with honesty, respect, and care.

7. Isolation From Friends And Family

A healthy relationship is built on mutual trust and respect. If your partner cuts you off from the other meaningful relationships in your life, that’s a huge red flag.

Your friends and family were there before your partner, and they will likely be there after them as well.

If someone truly cares about you, they will understand that your other relationships are vital parts of who you are.

Never let a partner isolate you by controlling who you spend time with or how often you connect with others.

This kind of behavior is a way to exert control and make you dependent on them. Don’t fall for it.

Maintain your independence and your connections to the outside world.

Let your partner know their actions are unacceptable, and that you won’t tolerate being cut off from people who love and support you.

If they refuse to change, you need to consider leaving the relationship. Your mental health and safety should be a top priority.

Try to surround yourself with people who love and respect you for who you are and don’t let anyone take your support system away.

things you should never forgive in a relationship

8. Constant Unavailability

When your partner is constantly unavailable to connect or spend time together, it can start to damage your relationship.

Their lack of availability will likely make you feel unimportant, unloved, or like an afterthought.

While everyone gets busy at times, if your significant other is constantly too busy for you over an extended period, that’s unacceptable.

You deserve a partner who makes you a priority in their life and wants to make time for you.

Someone who is constantly unavailable may be dealing with other issues like work stress, family problems, or personal struggles that are affecting your relationship.

But that doesn’t make their behavior okay or mean you have to accept it.

Have an honest conversation with your partner about how their lack of availability makes you feel and that the relationship can’t continue this way.

Compromise and understanding are needed from both sides to find a middle ground.

If after communicating openly they’re still constantly unavailable, you may need to reevaluate the relationship.

You are worth more than crumbs of someone’s time and affection.

9. Controlling Behavior

A major thing you should never forgive in a relationship is control from a romantic partner.

If your significant other frequently exhibits controlling behavior, it can hurt your mental health and damage your connection. Watch out for controlling behavior like:

Constantly checking up on you, demanding to know where you are and who you’re with. This behavior shows a lack of trust and can make you feel suffocated in the relationship.

Restricting access to friends and family or other outside social interactions. Isolating you from your support network is a way for a controlling partner to exert more influence over you.

Monitoring your communication or restricting your access to money or transportation. These types of controlling behaviors are unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

Making all the decisions in the relationship without considering your input or desires. Compromise and shared decision-making are essential parts of a healthy relationship.

If your partner frequently exhibits these behaviors, it’s a sign the relationship is unhealthy and you should consider ending it.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you’re respected, trusted, and free to live your own life.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to local authorities for help and support in leaving a controlling relationship.

things you should never forgive in a relationship

10. Addiction Or Substance Abuse

Consistent addictive behavior is another thing you shouldn’t tolerate or forgive in a relationship.

If your partner has an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or behavioral issues like gambling that negatively impact your relationship, this is not something you should ignore or forgive easily.

Their addiction will always come before you and the relationship. Do not make excuses for their behavior or let them manipulate you into enabling their habit.

Stand up for yourself by expressing how their addiction makes you feel and setting clear boundaries.

Let them know their addiction is damaging the relationship and that you won’t tolerate being treated as a second priority.

Make it clear that they need to enroll in a recovery program and commit to being sober, or you will have to end the relationship to protect yourself.

Loving an addict is hard, but you need to put your own mental and emotional health first.

Do not feel guilty for their addiction or responsible for “fixing” them. Only they can choose to get help.

If your significant other continually breaks promises to change and picks their addiction over you, leaving the relationship may be the only way to avoid being dragged down into their cycle of chaos and confusion.

You deserve a healthy, supportive, and responsible partner. Do not stay in an unhealthy situation out of fear, guilt, or because you think you can’t do better.

Leaving is the best decision you can make for your happiness and well-being.


No relationship is perfect, but certain behaviors cross the line and indicate your partner is unwilling or unable to love you.

Trust your gut instincts—if something feels wrong or unhealthy, don’t ignore those red flags just because you care about the person.

Stand up for yourself and walk away from someone who repeatedly disregards your feelings and needs.

Don’t compromise your standards or lose yourself trying to change someone who doesn’t value you.

You are worthy of a healthy, fulfilling relationship built on mutual trust and understanding. Don’t settle for less!


Recommended reading:

10 Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship

9 Things You Should Never Beg For In A Relationship

15 Telltale Signs You’re With The Wrong Person

How To Know When To Walk Away From A Relationship

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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