What To Do When Someone Flirts With Your Partner

when someone flirts with your partner

You’re out with your significant other and someone starts flirting with them right in front of you.

How do you handle it without losing your cool or making a scene?

Deep down, you know flirting with another person’s partner is inappropriate, but you also don’t want to overreact in the moment.

In this blog post, we’ll talk about the best ways to respond when someone flirts with your partner.

Staying calm and addressing it later in private is usually the way to go.

We’ll also give you some phrases to use and tips on keeping your anger in check.

Dealing with a flirt can be frustrating, but you can handle it with grace.

when someone flirts with your partner


Do you feel uncomfortable or threatened when someone flirts with your partner? You’re not alone!

Here are some constructive ways to handle the situation:

1. Stay calm and avoid acting out of jealousy

Finding out someone’s openly flirting with your partner can bring up feelings of jealousy, anger, and insecurity. 

You may want to immediately tackle the flirter but don’t do it! Take a few deep breaths and try to remain level-headed.

Reacting impulsively or aggressively may escalate the situation and cause unnecessary drama.

Even if you feel offended, confronting the flirter directly is usually not a good idea.

It often comes across as possessive and threatens to provoke an argument.

While it’s natural to feel a bit uneasy when someone flirts with your partner, avoid letting jealousy consume you.

Trust in your connection and address any insecurities together. Getting possessive or causing a scene will only damage your relationship.

Try to keep your emotions under control. Your partner chose to be with you, not them.

Remember that a little flirting is harmless and often flattering. It doesn’t mean your partner will act on it or that the other person is a threat.

Rather than worrying about what others may do, turn your attention inward to strengthening your connection.

Building closeness and improving communication can help lessen feelings of insecurity over time.

when someone flirts with your partner

2. Trust your partner to handle the situation

When someone flirts with your partner, the healthiest thing you can do is trust them to handle it appropriately.

Your partner chose to be with you, so have confidence in their feelings for you. Getting jealous or confrontational will likely only make the situation worse.

Rather than causing a scene, pull your partner aside privately and calmly let them know the flirting made you feel uncomfortable.

Have an open, honest conversation about your feelings and concerns.

Your partner will likely address the situation and reassure you of their commitment to the relationship.

Try not to blame or attack your partner. Understand that they cannot control another person’s actions.

Focus on communicating constructively and listen with an open mind.

This will build a foundation of trust and allow your relationship to thrive despite outside influences.

3. Address the flirter politely but firmly

When someone blatantly hits on your partner right in front of you, it can be tempting to get angry or cause a scene.

However, that will likely only make the situation more awkward and embarrassing for everyone involved.

If your partner is too shy to step up and handle the situation, you may need to take matters into your own hands.

The best approach is to remain calm and address the flirter directly in a self-assured manner.

Say something like, “Excuse me, but that’s my partner you’re flirting with.”

Make eye contact, keep your head high, and speak clearly to convey confidence in yourself and your relationship.

Your tone should be polite yet firm to get the point across without seeming confrontational.

For example, “I just wanted to clarify that we’re together. I’m sure you meant no harm.”

Extend a hand for a handshake to diffuse any tension. This makes it clear you have no issue with the person, only their behavior at that moment.

Once you’ve addressed the situation, turn your attention back to your partner.

Give them a hug, hold hands, kiss, or do something else to physically and emotionally reconnect.

This helps reassure them of your bond and shifts the focus away from the flirter.

In most cases, the flirter will realize their mistake, feel embarrassed, and move on.

However, if they continue to push boundaries after you’ve asked them to stop, you and your partner may need to move to a different location.

Instead of ignoring an intruder, ensure you mark your territory by addressing the situation.

Your partner will surely appreciate you speaking up to defend your relationship in a mature and assertive way.

And you can feel confident knowing you handled an awkward encounter with grace and tact.

when someone flirts with your partner

4. Communicate your feelings with your partner

It’s normal to feel jealous or insecure when someone is openly flirting with your romantic partner.

But the most mature thing you can do is talk to your partner about it.

Let them know that the other person’s behavior makes you feel uncomfortable and suggest setting clear boundaries.

Your partner may not even realize the flirter’s intentions.

Say something like, “I noticed that Sally seemed to be flirting with you the other night. The way she touched your arm and laughed at everything you said made me feel uneasy.”

Be honest but tactful about your feelings. Discuss how their interactions made you feel and specific behaviors that crossed the line for you.

Come to an agreement together on what is and isn’t okay. Talk about how you both want others to interact with you in social or professional settings.

Also, agree on appropriate responses should someone cross the line.

Setting mutual expectations upfront puts you on the same page and prevents future issues.

Once you’ve talked to your partner, you’ll likely feel reassured and secure in your relationship again.

However, if their flirty behavior with others continues despite your requests, you’ll need to reevaluate the relationship and whether your needs are being met.

The key is maintaining open communication with your partner. Speaking up about your feelings is the first step to setting healthy boundaries and building trust.

5. Set healthy boundaries as a couple

As a couple, you should set some ground rules for what is and isn’t accepted when it comes to flirting with others.

Discuss how flirting makes each of you feel and come to an agreement on where to draw the line.

For example, light compliments may be fine but exchanging phone numbers crosses the line.

When someone flirts with your partner in front of you, stay calm and confident.

Politely but firmly tell the person their behavior is inappropriate and needs to stop.

If your partner does not put an end to the flirting, talk to them about it in private.

Express how their actions made you feel and that you expect them to establish clear boundaries to protect your relationship.

If flirting continues to be an ongoing issue, you may need to consider going for counseling or ending the relationship.

Trust and communication are essential in a healthy relationship. When someone flirts with your partner, it can threaten that foundation of trust.

Talk to your partner openly and honestly about the situation, set clear expectations going forward, and work to rebuild trust.

With mutual understanding and respect, you can overcome challenges together.

when someone flirts with your partner

6. Focus on building trust and security in your relationship

Everyone feels insecure at some point in a romantic relationship.

When someone openly makes advances at your partner, it’s normal for feelings of jealousy, fear, and distrust to surface.

However, don’t let those negative emotions take over. Instead, use this experience as an opportunity to build trust and strengthen your bond.

Make plans to spend quality time together, engage in meaningful conversations, and participate in shared activities that reinforce your connection.

Practice active listening, be vulnerable, and express appreciation for your partner.

Rather than accusing or attacking, approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding.

Your partner can’t control other people’s actions, only their own responses. So focus on building trust and security within your relationship.

7. Maintain a positive mindset

When you notice that other people are constantly flirting with your partner, you may worry that you’ll be cheated on.

However, the most effective thing you can do is to maintain a positive mindset.

Your relationship and self-worth shouldn’t depend on the actions of others. Focus on the trust and commitment you’ve built with your partner instead.

Rather than viewing the person flirting as a threat, see them compassionately. Realize their behavior says more about them than your relationship.

They’re probably lonely and desperate to find someone to have fun with.

Remember that your partner chose you for a reason, so avoid doubting yourself or making accusations.

Respond with empathy, grace, and confidence. If the behavior continues and becomes disrespectful, you and your partner can establish clear boundaries together.

Stay secure in the knowledge that you and your partner have something special.

Jealousy often stems from inner self-doubt, so work to build your confidence from within.

Spend quality time together, express appreciation for your partner, and maintain open communication.

Your relationship will thrive when you’re both feeling content and cared for.

Let go of excessive worry or control over situations you can’t influence. Maintain your power by not giving it away to random flirts.

Stay centered in self-love and think positive thoughts about your relationship. This will help to keep your bond strong and reduce tension.

when someone flirts with your partner

8. Seek support from a therapist or counselor

Speaking with a therapist or counselor can help give you perspective and advice for coping with challenging situations in your relationship.

They are trained professionals who can provide impartial guidance. Consider visiting a therapist on your own or as a couple.

A counselor can help you work through feelings of hurt, insecurity, or jealousy that may arise when someone flirts with your partner.

They can give you strategies for improving communication, setting healthy boundaries, and rebuilding trust.

Talking to a professional may also help alleviate distress and prevent feelings of resentment from building up.

Seeking counseling does not mean there is something “wrong” with your relationship.

Many healthy couples pursue therapy to strengthen their connection or address specific issues.

Speaking with a therapist is a productive way to openly discuss relationship dynamics, set goals, improve problem-solving abilities, increase intimacy, and find better ways of supporting each other.

While flirting may be difficult to navigate, the challenges it presents can ultimately help deepen your relationship if you commit to open communication and professional support.

A counselor can guide you through this process in a compassionate, non-judgmental way.


Has someone ever flirted with your partner in your presence?

We’ve all been in that awkward spot where someone is hitting on our significant other. It can make you feel jealous, angry, or insecure.

But the key is to stay calm and remember that your partner is with you because they love you.

If the flirting seems harmless, laugh it off. But if it crosses a line, don’t be afraid to politely but firmly set some boundaries.

At the end of the day, the only relationship that matters is the one you have with your partner.

As long as you both have open communication and trust, a little flirtation shouldn’t threaten what you’ve built together.

So next time someone hits on your significant other, take a deep breath, squeeze your partner’s hand, and let that admirer know your bond is unbreakable.

The love you share should be the most important thing to you— nurture it, and don’t let outsiders distract you.

However, if jealousy is an ongoing issue, talk to your partner. Let them know you feel insecure and need extra support.

Be open to listening to their perspective without judgment and work on finding solutions you’re both comfortable with.

Healthy communication, mutual trust, and respect are key in handling flirtatious behavior from other people.

By addressing the issue together and reaffirming your commitment to each other, you can strengthen your relationship and navigate challenges effectively.


Recommended reading:

9 Behaviors That Are Considered Cheating In A Relationship

What To Do When Your Man Won’t Stop Cheating

How To Forgive A Cheater And Love Them Again

How To Make A Relationship Work After Someone Cheats

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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