10 Harsh Facts About Dating A Married Man

facts about dating a married man

Dating a married man can be a complicated and risky affair.

While some women may find the idea appealing, there are many things to consider before getting involved in such a relationship.

In this article, we will explore some facts about dating a married man that you need to know before taking the plunge.


If you’ve fallen for a married man, you know it’s wrong, but you can’t seem to let him go.

You may think he’s different and it’s true love, but the truth is sleeping with another person’s husband rarely ends well.

Here are some harsh facts about dating a married man:

#1 A married man only wants you for your body

One of the biggest reasons why married men cheat on their wives is because of a lack of physical intimacy in the marriage.

Maybe they don’t get it as often as they would like or they’re in a long-distance marriage.

Whatever the case, if a married man is chasing you, he’s obviously after your body and nothing more.

If he loves you as he claims, he’ll divorce his wife immediately to be with you.

But if he’s stalling and making excuses while still having intercourse with you regularly, you should know he’s not serious about you.

The harsh truth is that when you’re dating a married man, you’re just a plaything to satisfy his needs.

He’ll shower you with compliments and affection, but only when he wants to get intimate. The rest of the time, you’ll be lucky to get a text or call.

#2 A married man cannot give you his full attention

Another harsh fact about dating a married man is that he cannot be fully committed to you.

No matter what he says, you’ll never be his top priority. His wife and kids will always come before you.

He’ll frequently cancel plans or disappear to tend to “family responsibilities”.

Don’t expect to spend holidays or special occasions together. You’ll always come second to his “real” life.

If you want to meet up for dinner or spend the night together, it can only work with his schedule.

When you’re sick and need someone to take care of you, he cannot be by your side because he’s busy with his family.

You’re not the one with the ring on your finger after all. He made vows to his spouse, not you, and will likely never prioritize you over her.

This means you will have to deal with the fact that he won’t always be available to you, and you’ll never be his number one priority.

Why settle for someone else’s leftovers when you could have your own full plate?

A married man cannot give you what you truly need and desire in a relationship. The sooner you realize this, the better for you.

facts about dating a married man

#3 Your relationship will have to be a secret

Dating a married man means your relationship will have to remain hidden.

You may have to sneak around, make up excuses, and avoid being seen together in public places.

You won’t be able to go out for romantic dinners or stroll hand in hand through the park. Everything you do together will be behind closed doors and in secret.

You’ll have to constantly lie to your friends and family about where you’re going and who you’re seeing.

You can’t even post about your relationship on social media or discuss it with mutual friends as it can have serious consequences.

The secrecy and dishonesty can become emotionally draining over time.

You may start to resent the fact that you can’t openly express your affection for one another or celebrate special occasions publicly like birthdays or anniversaries.

This secretive lifestyle can seem exciting at first but soon becomes exhausting and damaging.

You’ll eventually find yourself longing for a “normal” relationship where you don’t have to hide your feelings for the other person.

Whether you like it or not, when you’re dating a married man lies and secrets will become your new normal.

You’ll constantly live in fear of being discovered by his wife or someone you know and the anxiety of potentially getting caught can take a toll on your emotional health.

#4 You might fall in love with him and get attached

When you’re dating a married man, there’s a possibility that you’ll develop feelings for him and become emotionally attached.

This is dangerous, especially if he doesn’t love you back and has no intention of leaving his wife for you.

The worst part is you may have to hide your feelings and relationship from others.

This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, as you are unable to share your experiences with friends and family.

Falling for a married man is a slippery slope. At first, the thrill of your secret relationship may feel exciting.

But soon, reality will hit. The stolen moments and broken promises will start to wear you down.

You’ll find yourself constantly making excuses for him and forgiving his “little white lies.”

Before you know it, your life begins to revolve around his schedule and you’ll be left picking up the pieces of a broken heart when he leaves after your secret rendezvous.

Don’t expect him to leave his wife for you. As painful as it is, you must realize you come second.

He has too much to lose by divorcing, and not enough incentive to legitimize your relationship.

Save yourself the heartache and walk away before you get in too deep. You deserve so much more than being someone’s mistress.

Find an available man who will make you his priority and give you the committed relationship you truly want.

#5 You could accidentally get pregnant for him

Having an affair with a married man puts you in a precarious position.

There’s always a possibility of an unplanned pregnancy which can complicate things.

Even if you’re using birth control, there’s still a small chance it could fail. And if it does, you’ll have a baby daddy who’s already committed to another family.

He may promise to support you but may be unable to keep to his words. His wife and existing kids will likely come first.

You could end up going through pregnancy and raising a child largely on your own, while he pops in and out of your life when it’s convenient for him.

Some women in this situation feel they have no choice but to get an abortion to avoid wrecking two families. Others feel that would be wrong.

Either way, it’s an incredibly difficult position to be in. The bottom line is if you want children, this is not an ideal situation.

And if you don’t, the risk of pregnancy is yet another reason why dating a married man is not a good idea.

Think long and hard about the potential consequences before getting involved with someone else’s spouse.

An affair that seems fun and exciting at first could end up causing hurt for everyone involved if things go awry.

facts about dating a married man

#6 You may be blamed for being the cause of his marital problems

As the mistress, you are an easy scapegoat who would be blamed for wrecking a married man’s home.

Even if he was unhappy, people will accuse you of trying to destroy a perfect marriage. Can you leave with this stigma for the rest of your life?

While you may care for a married man, you need to recognize that you will likely end up hurt in the end. Secret relationships rarely lead to a happy ending.

As long as he stays married, you will always be the other woman who is trying to wreck another person’s home. The best thing to do is end the relationship.

Let him work on his marriage without the complication of an affair, and free yourself to find an available man who will give you the commitment you deserve.

You may love him, but you must love yourself more. His marriage and his problems are not yours to fix, so don’t get involved in his drama.

#7 You will constantly struggle with feelings of guilt

Another harsh truth about dating a married man is that you’ll often feel guilty for being the other woman.

You know in your heart of hearts that sleeping with another person’s husband is wrong.

No matter how much he says he loves you, or how poorly his wife treats him, or how much you try to justify the relationship, the guilt will nag at you.

When he has to cut dates short to go home to his wife, when holidays and weekends pass and you sit alone, the feelings of shame and regret will bubble up.

You may start to resent him for not leaving his wife, even though you entered into the relationship with your eyes open.

You may also resent his innocent wife. These negative feelings will weigh heavily on you and erode your self-esteem over time.

Although it may be difficult, the healthiest thing you can do is end things with your married boyfriend.

You deserve so much more than being someone’s “second choice” or secret fling. Don’t waste your time and affection on someone who will never fully commit to you.

You owe it to yourself to find a love that’s honest, transparent, and 100% yours. Ending it will be hard, but your future happiness depends on it.

#8 He may never leave his wife for you

One of the biggest facts about dating a married man is that he may never divorce his wife to be with you.

He’s made promises to his wife that he’s not willing to break. When exchanging vows, he committed to loving and cherishing her for life.

Even if the relationship isn’t perfect, ending a marriage is an enormous decision that many men have trouble making.

Don’t expect him to choose between you and his wife. He will most likely want to maintain the status quo to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings or dealing with the messy process of divorce.

He may care for you deeply, but his wife and family are his top priority. Hoping and praying that he’ll eventually leave her for you will only lead to disappointment and heartbreak.

The hard truth is, a married man is already in a relationship with someone else, so you’re the one being taken advantage of in this situation.

Respect yourself enough to walk away. This type of relationship will likely damage your self-esteem and cause trust issues that could affect your future relationships.

facts about dating a married man

#9 You could destroy his children’s future

Dating a married man means you’re complicit in destroying his family.

His kids will suffer the most—they’ll have to deal with the fallout from your relationship and their parents’ divorce.

They may resent you for breaking up their family and causing them pain.

Kids often blame the “other woman” for their parents’ split, even if their dad actively pursued the relationship.

You’ll become the target of their anger and hurt. Your relationship could do lasting damage to a married man’s bond with his children.

Instead of enjoying normal activities like sports, clubs, or hobbies, his kids may act out or withdraw.

Their grades may slip and they may perform poorly in school. They’ll have to split time between two households and may feel like they don’t have a stable home.

The damage to their security and well-being could haunt them for life. Of course, the married man is most at fault.

But you’ll still share some responsibility for the anguish his family endures. An affair may seem exciting, but it often ends in broken families and broken hearts.

#10 You might find it difficult to get a husband

Dating a married man often means you’ll struggle to find a life partner of your own.

You may be so preoccupied that you’ll find it hard to meet eligible bachelors.

Even if you do connect with an unattached guy, the complications of your current relationship may scare him off.

The secrecy involved in your affair also cuts you off from social interactions where you’d typically meet nice single men.

You’ll have to avoid mentioning your sneaking around to friends and family, which can limit the network that could set you up with a great match.

When you’re with a married man, you’re in a dead-end romance. No matter how much he cares for you, his commitment is to his wife and family.

The longer you stay with him, the harder it will be to break away, and the more opportunities you’ll miss to find a faithful partner to build a future with.


Are you toying with the idea of dating someone else’s husband?

I’ve given you 10 harsh facts you need to think about before getting tangled up with a married man.

It’s not an easy road, and more often than not ends painfully. If you’re longing for real, committed love—look elsewhere.

Dating a married man comes with its own set of challenges. You will have to deal with the guilt of being involved in a relationship that is not morally right.

You may also have to deal with the emotional turmoil that comes with being in a relationship with someone who is already committed to another person.

Additionally, you will have to keep your relationship a secret, which can be stressful and lead to feelings of loneliness.

Another important thing to consider is the potential consequences of being involved with a married man.

You may face social stigma and judgment from others, which can be difficult to deal with.

You could also be putting yourself at risk of being hurt emotionally, as a married man may not be able to fully commit to you or may choose to stay with his spouse instead of leaving her for you.

Overall, dating a married man is a complex and potentially risky decision that should not be taken lightly.

Though the romantic fantasy seems enticing on the surface, when you look closer, it’s built on a cracked foundation.

Don’t lose yourself chasing smoke and mirrors. Be wise enough to do the right thing.


Recommended reading:

9 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date A Married Man

10 Signs A Married Man Will Never Leave His Wife For You

12 Sure Signs A Married Man Loves You

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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