Are you falling hard for a new guy, but that little voice in your head keeps saying he’s too good to be true? We’ve all been there.
The early days of dating are exciting, but they can also be filled with a lot of mixed signals and uncertainty.
How do you know if a guy is genuinely interested in you or just playing the field?
In this blog post, we’ll show you how to spot a player early in a relationship so you can avoid potential heartbreak.
HOW TO SPOT A PLAYER EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP
The dating world is full of players who are looking to have fun with no strings attached.
If you’re interested in getting into a serious relationship, you need to be able to identify the unserious guys from real men.
It may not be easy because some people are really good at pretending.
But if you look close enough and listen to your instincts, you can avoid falling for the wrong guy.
Here are some obvious signs you’re dating a player:
1. He’s overly charming
Does your new guy sweep you off your feet and leave you dazzled?
While it’s nice to feel special, a player often relies on over-the-top charm to win you over quickly.
He might shower you with compliments, grand romantic gestures, and promises of forever – all before really getting to know you.
This whirlwind romance can be intoxicating, but it’s often a red flag. A genuine connection takes time to develop.
If he’s pushing for intimacy or commitment way too fast, he may be more interested in the chase than in a real relationship.
Pay attention to whether his actions match his words. Is he consistent in his attentiveness, or does he disappear for days after love-bombing you?
A guy who’s serious will let things unfold naturally without the need for constant dramatic displays of affection.
2. He never keeps to his promises
The key to spotting a player is to watch his body language and his actions.
If a guy is constantly promising the moon but delivering breadcrumbs, it’s time to pay attention.
Does he swear he’ll call but then ghost you for days? Or maybe he claims he’s all about commitment, yet he’s always “too busy” to make plans?
These inconsistencies are red flags waving right in your face. A keeper will follow through on his promises, showing you he values your time and feelings.
A player, on the other hand, will say whatever he thinks you want to hear, without any intention of backing it up.
Showing up is not about grand gestures or extravagant treats — it’s about the small, consistent actions that show a man means what he says.
Trust your gut and watch for patterns. If his words and actions don’t align, he might just be playing you.
3. He keeps things vague
When a guy’s playing the field, he often keeps his cards close to his chest.
You might notice he’s reluctant to pin down specific plans or commit to future dates.
When you talk about doing something together, his responses are often evasive, peppered with “maybe” or “we’ll see.”
Watch out for vague answers about his whereabouts or who he’s spending time with.
A player might deflect questions about his past relationships or avoid discussing exclusivity.
He may also choose to hide your relationship and won’t invite you to social gatherings where you’ll meet his buddies.
Remember, actions speak louder than words. If a guy is consistently evasive or hard to pin down, it might be a red flag.
A keeper will generally be more transparent and eager to include you in his life.
4. He’s reluctant to introduce you to his inner circle
When a guy is serious about you, he’ll want to integrate you into his life.
But if he’s keeping you at arm’s length from his friends and family, this is a huge red flag.
Players often keep their love lives hidden from their social circle. Watch out for these warning signs:
• He always wants to meet at your place or neutral locations
• He dodges questions about his social circle
• You’ve never met any of his close friends, even after months of dating
If a guy is not making an effort to introduce you to the important people in his life, he may not see you as a long-term prospect.
A keeper will be excited to show you off and make you part of his world.
Trust your gut if something feels off about his reluctance to bring you into his inner circle.
5. His focus is on the physical
A big sign the guy you’re dating is a player is that he’s all about getting physical.
If he keeps trying to get you to sleep with him when you barely know each other, that’s a red flag.
You’ll notice he’s always trying to steer conversations towards intimacy or making suggestive comments.
And he’ll often compliment your looks or your body, not your personality or achievements.
Watch how he behaves on dates too. Is he constantly trying to touch you or get you alone? Does he push for intimacy before you’re ready?
A player’s goal is often to score, not to genuinely connect with you.
If he dodges deep conversations or seems disinterested in your thoughts and feelings, it’s a sign he’s not looking for anything serious.
A keeper will want to know the real you, not just your body.
10 SIGNS HE ONLY WANTS YOU FOR YOUR BODY
6. He refuses to change his relationship status online
A guy’s online presence can speak volumes about his intentions and also reveal where you stand in his life.
If he’s hesitant to update his relationship status or acknowledge your connection publicly, it might be a red flag.
Players often keep their options open by maintaining an ambiguous online persona.
While it’s not necessary to broadcast every detail of your relationship, a genuine partner won’t shy away from subtle acknowledgments. Watch out if:
• He’s reluctant to appear in photos together
• He avoids tags or mentions of you in posts
• He keeps his profile deliberately vague
If a guy is all over you in private but maintains a single status online, it’s worth having an honest conversation about expectations and commitment.
But it’s also important to note that some people choose to be reserved and may not be active on social media. So keep an eye out for other telltale signs.
7. He blows hot and cold
Do you ever feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster with this guy?
One minute he’s all over you, showering you with attention and affection. The next, he’s MIA, leaving you wondering what went wrong.
This hot-and-cold behavior is a classic player move. Players often use this tactic to keep you on your toes and maintain control.
They’ll pull away just when you’re getting comfortable, then swoop back in before you lose interest.
It’s a manipulative game that keeps you constantly guessing and craving their attention.
If you constantly wonder where you stand or feel anxious about a guy’s next move, it’s a red flag.
A keeper will be consistent in his feelings and actions toward you.
8. He never wants to talk about the future
When you’re dating a man who’s truly invested, he’ll naturally weave future plans into conversations.
But if he dodges any mention of tomorrow, next week, or beyond, it’s a red flag.
Players often live in the moment, avoiding commitments that extend past their next text. Watch out if:
• He changes the subject when you bring up future events
• He never initiates plans more than a few days in advance
• His responses to your future-oriented questions are vague or noncommittal
A keeper will be excited to include you in his vision of the future, even if it’s just planning a weekend getaway or discussing holiday plans.
If he’s constantly living in the now, he might not be looking for anything long-term.
9. You feel something is off
Do you ever have a nagging feeling that your guy is a player? Trust it.
Your intuition is a powerful tool when it comes to spotting a player.
Maybe he’s constantly checking his phone, or his stories don’t quite add up.
Perhaps he’s overly secretive about his whereabouts or who he’s with.
These little red flags might seem insignificant at first, but they can be telltale signs of a player in action.
A genuine connection should feel easy and natural. If you’re constantly second-guessing a man’s intentions or feeling uneasy, it’s time to take a step back and reassess the situation.
Don’t ignore your gut instinct – it’s often your subconscious picking up on subtle cues that your conscious mind might miss.
Your intuition is there to protect you, so listen to it.
Conclusion
When you’re trying to figure out if that new guy is playing games or looking for something real, pay attention to his body language and actions.
If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t ignore those red flags or make excuses for sketchy behavior.
A keeper will be consistent, and honest, and make you feel secure in the relationship.
If you’re constantly questioning where you stand, it’s probably time to walk away.
You deserve someone who’s all in, not keeping one foot out the door.
Recommended reading:
14 Clear Signs He’s Playing Mind Games With You
17 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You