Almost every married woman’s goal is to make her husband happy and keep him interested in her for as long as possible.
Luckily, men are often less complicated than women in matters of the heart.
For a happy marriage, the three most important things men need from their wives are respect, affection, and intimacy.
Speaking of which, if you’ve ever asked yourself how often should a wife please her husband sexually, you’re not alone!
Whether you’re a new wife or you’ve been married for many years, it’s normal to wonder if you’re pleasing your husband enough in bed.
The truth is, when it comes to intimacy, every couple has different needs and there is no specified amount of times for you to get intimate with your spouse.
Some married couples enjoy having sex three times a week whereas others prefer to do it once a week.
So, the frequency of sex really depends on your sexual needs, personal preferences, and sex drives.
Generally, couples with a high libido tend to make love more often than those who have a low sex drive.
The bottom line is, as long as you’re both satisfied, the sex you’re having is sufficient.
According to recent studies, more sex doesn’t necessarily equate to a higher level of happiness in a relationship.
In fact, couples who make love once per week admit that they’re very happy compared to those who do it every day.
So, the amount of sex a couple needs to be happy depends on what they both want.
However, if you feel that you and your spouse aren’t having enough sex, it’s a good idea to check for any sexual issues that could be hindering you from enjoying a healthy sex life.
Aside from sexual problems, work pressures, dry spells, and lack of intimate connection could be contributing factors to a sexless marriage.
If you’re dealing with a lack of sex in your marriage, you may be surprised to know that there are other people facing similar problems.
A 2017 study of U.S. General Social Survey data revealed that 16% of married couples are in a sexless marriage.
To have an idea of what’s normal in most marriages, let’s take a look at some interesting statistics reported by the Kinsey Institute:
• 45% of married couples have sex a few times a month
• 34% have sex two to three times per week
• 13% make love only a few times a year
• 7% have sex four or more times per week
For a lot of married couples, having sex once a month is a bare minimum for a healthy relationship.
To stay happy, they’ll need to make love at least once a week and if they have sex up to 3 or more times a week, that would be considered blissful.
WHAT’S THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF TIMES PER WEEK MARRIED COUPLES MAKE LOVE?
Typically, couples have much sex at the beginning of a relationship which is often called the honeymoon stage.
As their love life progresses, sexual activity decreases due to a lot of factors such as childbirth, aging, health issues, work stress, financial crisis, and relationship problems.
In a research published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, it was reported that married couples have sex about 51 times a year, which turns out to be once per week.
For a lot of people, this is often enough for them to enjoy a satisfying sex life whereas some people may complain that they’re having less sex.
IS ONCE A MONTH A SEXLESS MARRIAGE?
According to sex therapists, if a couple makes love less than 10 times a year, they’re considered to be in a sexless marriage.
However, the ideal amount of times you make love will depend on what works for you and your spouse.
If you choose to have sexual intercourse with your partner twice a week or more, it’s totally fine as long as you’re both happy and satisfied with your relationship.
HOW OFTEN DO COUPLES IN THEIR 20s MAKE LOVE?
Younger couples tend to have more sex in their relationship. This could be attributed to their young age, fewer or no kids, and the duration of time they’ve been together.
A recent survey study suggests that an average American adult in their 20s (whether married or not) has sex about 112 times a year, which translates to two or three sexual encounters per week.
HOW OFTEN DO COUPLES IN THEIR 30s MAKE LOVE?
Generally, couples between the ages of 30 to 39 make love about 86 times per year, which averages out at two times a week.
Since most people have a stable career, get married and start a family at this age, this is a normal frequency of sex to have.
Once the kids start coming and the bills begin to pile up, stress negatively affects the sexual intimacy of a lot of married couples.
HOW OFTEN DO COUPLES IN THEIR 40s MAKE LOVE?
Once you’re above 35, things tend to go downhill in the bedroom fast.
Married couples in the 40 to 49 age group make love only 69 times per year and that’s roughly five times a month.
Another survey published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior revealed that about 46% of Americans in this age grade are less satisfied with their sex life than they were a decade ago.
HOW OFTEN DO 50-YEAR-OLD MARRIED COUPLES MAKE LOVE?
Couples are more likely to have less sex as they age and this is pretty normal for almost everyone. Most married couples in their 50s make love two to three times a month.
In an AARP study of about 8,000 people aged 50 or older, 33% of couples confessed that they rarely or never have sex and one in five women say they’d be quite happy to never have sex again.
HOW OFTEN DO MARRIED COUPLES OVER 60 MAKE LOVE?
The frequency of sex tends to decrease as people get older.
On average, married couples in their 60s make love 20 times per year which equals once or twice a month, and couples in their 70s and 80s have sex at least twice a month.
Surprisingly, a 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior found that about 25% of partnered women above the age of 70 had sex up to four times a week. Sounds strange, I know!
I guess age is just a number as they say. Plus, at this stage, the nest is completely empty and older couples have a lot of time on their hands to experiment in the bedroom.
HOW OFTEN SHOULD YOU PLEASURE YOUR HUSBAND?
Sex matters a lot to most men. In fact, if you ask a man how often he wants to have sex with his wife, he wouldn’t mind doing it every day.
For women, on the other hand, marriage isn’t all about sex and they can stay as long as they want without having any sexual desire.
However, a lack of frequent sex can destroy the emotional intimacy and sexual connection you both have in your marriage.
It’s important to talk about your sex life and communicate your sexual needs to your spouse. This way, you can find an arrangement that works for both of you.
For instance, if one partner has a higher sex drive, you can try engaging in oral sex or mutual masturbation whenever you’re not in the mood for penetrative sex.
It’s also a good idea to try scheduling sex once or twice per week to ensure sexual satisfaction in your marriage.
While spontaneous sex is often more rewarding, having compulsory weekly sex can help to keep the wheels of your engine oiled and possibly improve your relationship too.
If you’re experiencing challenges in your sexual life or marital relationship, you may benefit from consulting a couples counselor or family therapist.
WHAT CAN A WIFE DO TO PLEASE HER HUSBAND?
Men clearly want more sex and if you can commit to satisfying your husband’s needs on a regular basis, he’ll be very pleased.
A good sex life involves being romantic and doing the little things that show your partner he’s loved, wanted, and appreciated.
Another way to please your husband is to find new ways to give him sexual pleasure.
Study your husband’s body, learn what he likes then do it often and add a few surprises to your sexual relationship once in a while.
You can also engage in frequent kissing, longer foreplay, and kinky sex. No matter what you do at the end of the day, it all boils down to what your husband really wants in bed.
The best way to know how to please your man sexually is to ask him what he likes in bed.
If you want to spice up your marriage and improve your sexual intimacy, get my bestselling eBook to learn new techniques in the bedroom.
Maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with your spouse is critical in building a good marriage.
Whether you’re having bouts of passionate lovemaking every night or intimate dates with your spouse every week, if you’re satisfied with the frequency of sex in your marriage, it means you’re having the right amount of sex.
Every couple is different with varying sexual needs and levels of desire. There’s no magic number when it comes to intimacy.
How often you choose to make love with your partner is entirely up to you and you don’t need to compare your sex life to anyone else’s.
The most important thing is that you’re both happy and satisfied with your marriage.
However, if you’re struggling with relationship problems that are threatening to destroy your marriage, consult a marriage or sex therapist to find healthy solutions that can work for you.
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life. As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are important in building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.