10 Crystal Clear Signs Of Fake Love

signs of fake love

How can you tell if someone truly loves you or is faking their feelings for you?

Sometimes, it can be hard to tell a genuinely caring relationship from a pretentious one.

But, by paying attention to the telltale signs, you can be able to know the difference.

If your partner is doing any of these 10 things, your love may not be the real deal.


Identifying fake love can be challenging, as it can be disguised in various ways.

However, there are common signs that may indicate someone’s feelings are not genuine. Here are some signs of fake love to look out for:

#1 Self-Centeredness

In a healthy relationship, there’s a balance of give and take. But when someone is self-centered, that balance gets thrown way off.

You may find yourself always being the giver, while your partner is the constant taker.

Their needs, wants, and desires always seem to take priority over yours. It’s like you’re an afterthought or simply a means to an end for them.

Every conversation revolves around their job, friends, family, and hobbies—they never show genuine interest in your life.

Pay close attention to how they speak about the relationship too. Do they use “I” and “me” more than “we” and “us”?

That’s a red flag that their self-absorption has no room for an actual partnership of equals.

And forget about compromising or meeting in the middle on anything.

They’ll insist on having it their way, expecting you to just go along with whatever they want. It’s their world, you’re just living in it.

In the end, a self-centered person can never truly love you the way you deserve. They lack the selflessness and consideration that real love demands.

You’ll be drained, disappointed, and deeply unsatisfied because their priority will always be themselves, not you.

If the person you’re dating is primarily focused on their own needs and desires without considering yours, it’s a clear sign they are faking their love.

signs of fake love

#2 Inconsistency

One of the biggest signs of fake love is the constant back-and-forth.

Is your partner madly in love with you one minute, only to blow hot and cold the next?

Real, genuine love is consistent. It doesn’t sway between extremes based on the person’s mood or whims.

When someone claims to love you but their actions and words don’t align, that’s a major red flag.

Love isn’t just an emotion, it’s a commitment to being there for your partner through thick and thin.

Inconsistency, whether it’s frequent hot and cold phases or flakiness, points to immaturity or a lack of real depth of feeling.

Closely related to the hot and cold behavior is getting mixed messages. One day they’re making grand romantic gestures and promises.

The next, they’re distant and aloof, barely returning your texts or calls.

Mixed messages create confusion and make you constantly second-guess where you stand.

In a healthy relationship, your partner should make you feel secure in their love and devotion to you.

With fake love, you’re stuck in a cycle of mixed signals that keep you off-balance and insecure.

That underlying inconsistency is the opposite of what real love looks and feels like. True love brings stability, care, and commitment into your life.

If instead you’re riding an emotional rollercoaster, that’s one of the biggest signs you’re in a fake relationship.

Consistency and following through on words with actions is what real love is all about.

#3 Lack Of Support

When you’re in a genuine, loving relationship, your partner is there to support you through thick and thin.

But in a fake relationship, the emotional give-and-take is severely lacking.

It feels like a one-way street, where you’re always the one making sacrifices and compromises.

They don’t celebrate your wins or comfort you during tough times. Your hopes, dreams, and struggles don’t seem to matter to them.

It’s like you’re just another obligation they reluctantly tolerate.

A key sign your partner doesn’t truly love you is that they never encourage you to grow as a person.

Whether it’s pursuing a passion project, taking that class you’ve always wanted, or simply trying something new—they’re often unsupportive and dismissive.

A loving partner should inspire you to be your best self, not discourage personal growth out of jealousy or insecurity.

If they constantly undermine your ambitions and make you second-guess yourself, that’s a huge red flag.

In a healthy relationship, you should feel comfortable sharing the things you love with your partner.

But if they routinely dismiss or mock your hobbies and interests, that’s a clear lack of support.

A partner who genuinely cares about you will make an effort to understand your passions, even if they don’t personally share them.

But someone faking love will act disinterested or unconcerned, making you feel ashamed for the things that light you up.

#4 Manipulative Behavior

Manipulative behavior can be tricky to spot, especially when it’s disguised as love. But if you pay close attention, you’ll notice subtle patterns emerge.

A clear sign of fake love is that they use manipulation, guilt-tripping, or emotional blackmail to get what they want.

A manipulative person may shower you with excessive affection one moment, only to withdraw it the next, which can make you confused and eager to please them.

Beware of someone who constantly needs reassurance or tests your commitment. This controlling tactic aims to make you prioritize their needs above all else.

Another thing to watch out for is that a manipulative partner never takes responsibility for their actions.

If you raise a valid concern, they’ll quickly turn it around to make you feel guilty instead.

You may find yourself apologizing for things that aren’t your fault, just to keep the peace.

At its core, manipulation relies on making you doubt your own reality.

Your partner may deny saying or doing things that clearly happened, or trivialize your feelings as an overreaction.

This “gaslighting” chips away at your self-esteem over time, making you more susceptible to their version of events.

Never ignore those nagging feelings that indicate something is off.

Manipulative behavior thrives when you let your guard down. Stay aware of the red flags so you won’t be caught unaware.

signs of fake love

#5 Conditional Love

Conditional love is a classic sign of fake affection.

With this type of love, there are often strings attached—you only receive care and kindness if you meet certain expectations or demands.

It’s a transactional approach where affection is the “payment” for good behavior.

The unspoken message is: “I’ll love you if…” Fill in the blank with whatever conditions apply such as looking a certain way, acting how they want, achieving specific goals, etc.

It’s a toxic dynamic where love feels more like a reward system than an unconditional bond.

When love is conditional, you’re constantly walking on eggshells. There’s this persistent worry that one misstep could mean losing that person’s love and approval.

It creates an environment of control, manipulation, and fear rather than the safety and comfort that real love provides.

You may find yourself altering your personality, suppressing your true self, just to keep the peace and retain their affection.

But a love that requires you to fundamentally change who you are…well, that’s not real love at all.

True love is a gift, freely given without any prerequisites or hoops to jump through.

With genuine affection, you don’t have to be perfect or put on an act. You’re accepted for who you truly are—flaws, quirks, and all.

If someone claims to love you yet frequently reminds you of how lucky you are or everything they’ve sacrificed, that’s not unconditional love.

Real love doesn’t keep score or make you feel indebted.

#6 Secretiveness

Keeping secrets, being evasive, or not fully disclosing important aspects of their life is a major sign of fake love.

Someone who is faking their love will keep details of their life tightly under wraps. Getting any personal information feels like pulling teeth.

A genuine partner is an open book who shares openly, not someone operating in secrecy.

Constantly being on their phone, stepping away for “private” calls, and deleting texts all reek of deception.

A real relationship does not need such shadiness. Trust and transparency should flow freely.

When you’re dating a fake person, you’ll quickly realize that their past remains a complete mystery to you.

You may have no idea where they are from or what their family is like.

A devoted partner doesn’t hold back these basic biographical details. Being secretive about their origins is a red flag.

If you’re with a fake person, you may have zero visibility into their income sources or spending habits as well.

A loving relationship practices financial openness and honesty—no covert bank accounts or cash stashes allowed.

Excessive secrecy, at all levels, is a clear sign of inauthenticity in a relationship. True love embraces complete transparency and vulnerability.

If your partner constantly hides things from you, they obviously don’t love you.

#7 Lack Of Respect

A relationship lacking mutual respect is not a genuine one.

Disrespectful behavior, belittling comments, or a dismissive attitude toward you are all signs of fake love.

When your partner constantly puts you down, criticizes your dreams and choices, or makes you feel small—that’s disrespect talking.

True love means celebrating each other’s individuality and supporting personal growth.

Pay close attention to their actions too. Do they routinely dismiss your opinions or talk over you? Does compromise feel like a foreign concept?

Genuine respect involves valuing your partner as an equal in the relationship and as a person.

Lack of regard for your boundaries, consent, or privacy are all huge red flags.

Name-calling, public humiliation, or demeaning behavior of any kind should never be tolerated in a loving relationship.

When someone claims to love you but their words and actions contradict that, don’t believe anything they say—watch what they do instead.

In the end, love without respect is merely hollow affection. If your partner’s behavior consistently makes you feel insignificant or disempowered, their love may not be authentic. 

signs of fake love

#8 Constant Criticism

One of the most glaring signs of fake love is constant criticism. No matter what you do or how hard you try, it’s never enough for your partner.

They nitpick every little thing, finding fault in the smallest details. From how you dress to the way you load the dishwasher, nothing seems to meet their standards.

It’s soul-crushing to constantly feel like you’re failing someone who claims to love you.

Real love embraces imperfections and offers constructive feedback, not relentless put-downs.

Criticism in a relationship should never be about tearing you down as a person.

In fake love, the “critique” is often just thinly veiled insults aimed at chipping away at your self-esteem.

The goal seems to be making you feel inadequate and dependent on their approval.

A caring partner wants to see you grow, not shrink into yourself from constant belittling. If the criticisms make you question your worth, that’s a big red flag.

With fake love, even your accomplishments get diminished. When you land a promotion at work, they’ll find a way to rain on your parade.

If you aced that certification exam, expect an eye roll about how it’s not that impressive.

True love lifts you up and celebrates your successes with genuine pride and enthusiasm.

A partner that can’t even acknowledge your wins is toxic and harmful to your well-being.

#9 Emotional Unavailability

Another sign of insincere love is that your partner is emotionally distant, avoids deep conversations, or lacks empathy towards your feelings.

When someone is emotionally unavailable, it’s like a brick wall between you two.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to break through and connect on a deeper level. They keep you at arm’s length, never fully letting you in.

Emotional unavailability often stems from deep-rooted intimacy issues. Maybe they had a rough childhood or went through a traumatic relationship.

Whatever the reason, they struggle to be vulnerable and open up. They can have surface-level conversations but the second things get too real or intense, they shut down.

One minute they’re showering you with affection and attention. The next? Radio silence. You’re left wondering what the heck happened.

This hot and cold behavior is a classic sign of emotional unavailability. They yearn for closeness but panic as soon as it gets too close for comfort.

When someone is emotionally unavailable, deflecting feelings is their go-to move. You try to have a heart-to-heart, but they immediately change the subject or crack a joke.

Anything to avoid dealing with those messy emotions head-on. It’s an endless dance of sidestepping intimacy.

signs of fake love

#10 Unwillingness To Compromise

When someone claims to love you, but is never willing to meet you halfway or make reasonable compromises, that’s a telltale sign their love is fake.

True love involves give and take from both partners. A person who truly loves you will respect your thoughts, feelings, and needs.

If your partner demands everything always goes their way, with no room for discussion or compromise, that’s a major red flag.

Healthy relationships require flexibility from both sides. An unwillingness to compromise often stems from pure selfishness.

A selfish partner who only cares about their own wants and desires and never considers yours is exhibiting fake love.

Real love is about considering your partner’s needs too, not just your own.


If you notice several of these red flags in your relationship, don’t ignore them. Healthy love should feel supportive, respectful, and nurturing.

If you suspect that the love you are receiving is fake or insincere, it may be worth evaluating the relationship and having honest conversations with your partner to address your concerns.

You deserve to be with someone who truly cares for you and wants to be with you for the right reasons.


Recommended reading:

10 Obvious Signs You’re In A Fake Relationship

15 Telltale Signs You’re With The Wrong Person

How To Stop Falling For The Wrong People

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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