12 Signs He Thinks You’re Not Good Enough For Him

signs he thinks you're not good enough for him.

So you’ve been seeing this guy for a while and things seem to be going well.

But lately, you can’t help but notice some subtle signs that make you wonder if he thinks you’re not good enough for him.

Has he started criticizing little things you say or do? Does he seem to be pulling away, taking longer to return your calls, and making excuses to avoid seeing you?

Do you feel like you’re putting in all the effort? It might be time to read the writing on the wall.

Don’t let yourself be strung along by a guy who doesn’t appreciate you.

You deserve someone who thinks you’re perfect as you are. Keep reading to learn the top signs he thinks you’re not good enough for him.


When a guy feels you’re not in his league, he’ll often treat you like a second choice and you’ll constantly have to beg for his love and attention.

Over time, this can lead to feelings of rejection, insecurity, and low self-esteem issues.

Here’s how to tell if he thinks you’re not good enough for him and what to do about it:

1. He doesn’t make you a priority

A big sign a guy thinks you’re not good enough is that he’ll treat you as if he’s doing you a favor by dating you.

For example, he won’t prioritize your needs or spend quality time with you.

If your boyfriend frequently cancels plans with you at the last minute or always puts his friends, work, hobbies, and family before you, that’s a major red flag.

A guy who really cares will make you a priority in his life. He’ll set aside time just for the two of you and follow through when you make plans together.

Don’t make excuses for his behavior or convince yourself that he’s just busy.

You deserve someone who will put in effort to see you and make you feel special.

If your man isn’t doing that, it’s time for a serious conversation about where his priorities lie.

Let him know his actions make you feel like you’re not important to him.

Pay close attention to how he responds when you share your concerns.

If he gets defensive or tries to turn things around on you, that’s a sign he likely won’t change.

But if he sincerely apologizes, takes responsibility for hurting you, and starts making a real effort to prioritize you, the relationship may have a good chance of surviving.

Ultimately though, you need to do what’s right for you. Don’t settle for someone who makes you feel unimportant or unwanted.

2. He puts you down in front of others

Does your boyfriend often make snide comments about you to his friends or belittle you in public? That’s a sign he doesn’t think you’re good enough for him.

A caring partner would never purposefully embarrass you or make you feel small.

If he says things like “she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but she means well” or jokes about your interests or appearance to get a laugh from his buddies, don’t tolerate the disrespect.

Call him out on his behavior and let him know that treating you with basic decency and respect is non-negotiable.

If he continues to cut you down and can’t sincerely apologize, save your self-esteem and get out of that relationship.

Don’t stay with a man who makes you feel less than or like you’ll never be enough.

signs he thinks you're not good enough for him.

3. He flirts with other women in your presence

A major sign a man thinks you’re not good enough for him is that he’ll entertain other women while in a relationship with you.

If the guy you’re seeing openly flirts with other women while you’re around, that’s a huge red flag.

A man who respects you and thinks you’re good enough for him would never disrespect you like that.

Flirting with other women shows you that you’re not his priority. He’s signaling to you and everyone else that he’s still playing the field and keeping his options open.

Maybe he just likes the attention and ego boost that flirting brings.

But that kind of behavior is hurtful and inappropriate, especially when you’re trying to build a meaningful relationship with someone.

You deserve so much better than a man who makes you feel like you have to compete for his affection or like you’re not good enough.

Don’t put up with it. Let him know his flirting is unacceptable, and if he doesn’t change his ways, move on.

There are great guys out there who will treat you with respect. Don’t settle for less because you’re afraid of ending up alone.

4. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends and family

When a man feels you’re not good enough for him, he’ll hide you from his social circle because he’s not proud to be with you.

After dating for a while, a serious guy should want the people closest to him to meet the woman he cares about.

If he refuses to introduce you to the important people in his life, it likely means he doesn’t see you as someone who’s going to stick around long-term.

Maybe he makes excuses as to why you can’t come over when his friends are there or doesn’t invite you to family events.

If so, this guy is keeping you separate from the rest of his world on purpose.

He may claim he wants to avoid drama or that he’s just private about his relationships. But don’t buy it.

Any man who’s really into you will be proud to show you off. This behavior suggests he doesn’t think you’re good enough for him.

Or, worse yet, he may be hiding the fact that he’s dating other women on the side.

Either way, you should be with a man who will gladly introduce you to everyone in his life.

If he won’t, it’s time to move on to someone who will treat you like a priority rather than an option.

5. He avoids making long-term plans with you

Another sign a guy doesn’t see you as a serious partner is that he’ll avoid making long-term plans with you.

For instance, he’ll be hesitant to plan a vacation together months in advance or won’t make an effort to schedule regular date nights.

This lack of commitment to your future indicates that he thinks you’re not fully compatible or that the relationship won’t last.

Rather than getting upset, have an open and honest conversation with him about where he sees the relationship going.

His answers will give you clarity on whether you’re both on the same page or if you need to find someone who will happily make you a priority in their life.

signs he thinks you're not good enough for him.

6. He consistently puts in minimal effort

A clear sign a guy doesn’t value the relationship as much as you do is that he consistently puts in little effort or doesn’t prioritize spending time with you.

For example, he’ll rarely initiate dates or plans, and when he does suggest getting together, it’s usually something low-key like watching TV on the couch or ordering takeout.

He won’t put much thought into gifts for special occasions or surprises either.

And you’ll feel like you’re always the one reaching out to make conversation or arrangements.

A man who is really into you will make the effort to be an active part of the relationship.

He will want to see you, talk to you, and do special things together as often as possible.

If your boyfriend can go days without contacting you and makes excuses for why he’s too busy to meet in person, it’s obvious you’re just an afterthought.

He’s probably just stringing you along until someone better comes along.

7. He makes belittling comments about you or your choices

Belittling comments are an indication that someone doesn’t appreciate you for who you are.

If your guy frequently criticizes your appearance, intelligence, or life choices in cruel ways, he likely doesn’t see you as his equal.

Maybe he makes sarcastic remarks about your hobbies, career, or friends. Perhaps he implies you’re foolish or naive in how you handle life’s challenges.

These hurtful words are meant to chip away at your self-esteem so you feel like you’ll never do better than him.

But don’t let his unkindness make you question your worth. His belittling behavior says more about his poor character than your perceived faults.

You’re too valuable to waste your time with someone who constantly puts you down to make himself feel bigger.

Don’t let his cruelty make you forget how amazing you are. Walk away from this unhealthy relationship before he destroys your self-confidence.

8. He frequently compares you to other people

Have you noticed that your guy often brings up his exes or comments on other women in an admiring way?

Does he compare you unfavorably to former partners or point out qualities he wishes you had?

If so, this behavior suggests he doesn’t fully appreciate you for who you are.

Comparing your partner to others is a hurtful habit that can damage their self-esteem and create feelings of insecurity in the relationship.

If your boyfriend frequently mentions how his ex was more adventurous, how a friend’s girlfriend is so ambitious, or how he wishes you dressed more stylishly like another woman he knows, this means he thinks you’re lacking in some way.

His comparisons could be a misguided attempt to motivate you or help you “improve”, but what they really do is convey a sense that you’re not good enough just as you are.

The healthiest relationships are based on mutual love, respect, and total acceptance.

If you find yourself constantly being measured up against other people in your man’s eyes, you need to speak to him about how you feel.

Let him know his behavior is unacceptable, and that you want an equal partner who appreciates you fully without comparisons.

If he’s unwilling to change, you may need to find someone who will cherish you for the unique person you are.

signs he thinks you're not good enough for him.

9. He sends you mixed signals

Sending mixed signals in a romantic relationship can be a sign of uncertainty or lack of genuine interest.

If one day your guy is blowing up your phone with sweet messages and the next he’s disappeared without a trace, that’s a red flag.

The unpredictable hot and cold behavior is a sign he’s not fully invested in you.

If he thought you were “the one”, he’d make more of an effort to communicate consistently.

Sadly, the truth may be that you’re only good enough when it’s convenient for him, but not good enough the rest of the time.

Don’t waste time trying to figure him out or change to suit his needs.

You deserve so much more than mixed signals and mind games. Walk away from this wishy-washy romance before you get hurt even worse.

The right guy for you will make his intentions clear through his consistent words and actions.

He’ll treat you as a priority, not an option, and you’ll never be left guessing how he really feels.

10. He ignores your feelings, needs, and opinions

When a guy disregards how you feel or what you think, it shows he may not see you as his equal.

If he frequently makes plans without consulting you first or ignores your input altogether, that’s not a good sign.

Healthy relationships require open communication, mutual understanding, and compromise to thrive.

Does your boyfriend dismiss your opinions or concerns by saying you’re “overreacting” or “being too sensitive”?

This behavior is demeaning and implies your feelings don’t matter. Don’t let him make you feel like you’re asking for too much.

Stand up for yourself and be direct about what you need to feel happy and secure in the relationship.

If he’s unwilling to compromise or at least consider your needs, he likely doesn’t think you’re good enough for him.

You can do better—consider walking away to find someone who will value you for who you are.

11. He’s reluctant to commit to you

Another sign a guy doesn’t think you’re good enough for him is that he’ll avoid committing to a serious relationship with you.

For example, he may be hesitant to call you his girlfriend or make long-term plans together.

Rather than locking in weekend getaways or introducing you to close friends, he prefers to keep things casual and noncommittal.

If your boyfriend frequently makes excuses or avoids conversations about the future of your relationship, this could signal he’s not fully invested in you.

This reluctance is often a sign you’re not “the one” for him. He may care for you, but deep down doesn’t see you as his perfect match or life partner.

You shouldn’t have to convince a guy to commit to you. If he wants you in his life, you’ll know it.

Don’t hold out hope that he’ll suddenly change his mind, as this will likely only lead to hurt and disappointment down the road.

signs he thinks you're not good enough for him.

12. He keeps you at a distance

When a guy isn’t that into you, he’ll make sure to keep some distance between you.

Watch out if he’s hesitant to let you get too close emotionally or physically.

Rather than inviting you over for a cozy night in, he’ll prefer to meet up for a quick drink or coffee.

If you try to initiate affection like holding hands or kissing in public, he’ll act awkward and pull away quickly.

If your boyfriend is cagey about sharing personal details and rarely opens up to you about his feelings or struggles, that’s not a good sign either.

While a little mystery can be attractive, his evasiveness can make you feel like he’s hiding something or not ready to fully commit.

If you get the sense that you’re always having to prove yourself to him or work to gain his trust and affection, don’t ignore your instincts.

This shady behavior shows he either has doubts about the relationship or deep-seated intimacy issues of his own.

Either way, you deserve someone who will let you in and be fully present with you.

Don’t waste time trying to convince him you’re worthy of his love and affection.

Look for a man who gives you his heart openly and makes you feel cherished every single day.


Have you noticed your boyfriend is treating you like a second choice?

If you’re feeling undervalued or inadequate in the relationship, consider having a conversation with him about your concerns and feelings.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who respects, values, and appreciates you for who you are.

If he refuses to change and continues to treat you like trash, learn to value yourself enough to leave the relationship.

Don’t waste time on someone who makes you question your self-worth.

Walk away with grace and move on to bigger and better things. You have so much to offer a romantic partner.

Focus on loving yourself first and improving your life. The right man for you will cherish you with all his heart and you won’t ever feel like you’re not good enough.


Recommended reading:

15 Clear Signs He Has No Feelings For You

15 Signs He’s Pretending To Love You

10 Clear Signs He’s Just Using You

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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